If You're Lost, Let Me Find You
by HotChilliGriffin
Summary: Overlap with episode 3:6, I do. Sawyer is dead, and Jack is trying to help Kate recover from the shock. JATE, though a little Skate at the beginning. COMPLETE.
1. I Don't

Quick Note

Hi, um… this is my first fic, so be nice! The first chapter may be a little boring, because most of it is just a repeat of episode six. But I promise, it'll get better… I hope to get chapter two up really soon, so check back, and I hope you enjoy!

* * *

CHAPTER ONE

"You needed to be in surgery yesterday," Jack said to Ben, studying the blood test information Juliet had given him before moving behind the glass partition.

"Alright, then. Whatever you need, it's yours. I'm ready," said Ben. Jack laughed cruelly.

"No, I think you misunderstood me. I didn't say I was gonna do it. I just wanted you to understand how you're gonna die!" Jack laughed again. "You think I believe you people? You think I trust you? That I'm just going to do the surgery, and then I'm just going to HOPE that you let me go?!"

"Jack!" Juliet exclaimed. She thought she had done her job - she thought she had become close enough to him that all she needed to do was say please, and he would do whatever she asked.

"No, don't!" Jack yelled back at her, throwing the notebook at her. It fell to the floor with a bang. Ben gave Jack an odd look.

"Well, Jack. I'm very disappointed in your decision," he said. Jack gave another cruel smile. Being locked in a shark tank for nearly a week had made him rather sadistic.

"Well, Ben. At least you won't have to be disappointed for very long."

* * *

"I thought you said he'd agree?" Ben asked Juliet, his voice dangerous.

"I thought he would," she replied. Ben wasn't listening. He was watching Sawyer and Kate arguing on the monitor in front of him. "What are you thinking?" Juliet asked.

"I think Jack believed me when I said I'd take him home - I don't think he wants to leave his friends behind, though." Ben narrowed his eyes. "He needs to understand that they don't care about him. Especially Kate."

"What should I do?" Juliet asked.

"Get Danny."

**

* * *

**

Jack woke to a crunching sound. For a moment, he didn't know where he was… then the cold table underneath him brought back the memories of that day. After yelling at Juliet and Ben, they'd left, and hadn't come back. Juliet hadn't even brought dinner the way she usually did. Right now, he didn't particularly care - he knew that she had just been wriggling closer to him, building up a fake friendship.

He lifted his head, and looked around. He heard his neck crick, stiff after falling asleep in such a bad position. The intercom on the wall - the one Juliet said hadn't worked in years - was working again. He had wondered, that first day, whether Juliet was right, and he was hallucinating, hearing things due to being so tired. But another part of him wondered if she had lied about it not working, so that he would take the food…

He shook his head at the memory. Why was it making noises now? He swung his legs over the edge of the table, and when another crackle came through, got up and walked quickly to it. he didn't try and 'communicate'. He just listened. Then he heard a voice, one he wasn't familiar with.

"Try the door," it (she? he wondered) said. Jack turned, and looked at the door to his cell in the dark light. He shrugged, and did as the voice suggested. The handle turned and the door swung open. Instantly, Jack was on guard - was this a trap? Odd sort of trap… why make him think he could escape? He made a mental note, as he ducked through the gap and into the corridor, not to try the big door he'd used on his last escape attempt. He grinned at the memory, then thinking of how close he had been to Juliet, his smile faded.

He walked down the hall, at any moment expecting to hear someone call out, though he could see no-one there. The big door with the red handle was on his right, and in front of him… another door. He slipped inside, and was faced with a wall of monitors, flicking between scenes, like security footage in a shop. To his right was a metal cupboard… his heart started beating faster. Full of guns! This definitely wasn't a trap - if they were going to lure him out and try and make him escape, they wouldn't let him arm himself. He grabbed one and loaded several bullets into it, and instantly felt more confident.

He recognised the gun, though only dimly… he tried to remember, then realised it was the same type that the man with the fake beard, (Tom, he recalled) had threatened Kate with nearly a month ago. Her name slid easily into his mind, despite the fact he'd spent the last week trying not to think about where she was or what they were doing to her. And Sawyer, whom he'd heard on the intercom, was he alright? Jack felt oddly amiable towards Sawyer - possibly because, apart from Kate, he was Jack's only true ally here.

Maybe it was because he was thinking about them that his peripheral vision caught the image on the monitor just before he left the room. His heart, previously beating a rapid rhythm fuelled by excitement, nearly stopped. He stepped closer, his grip on the gun relaxing.

Denial flooded through him, but his eyes only confirmed it. They were right there on the monitor. _Lying with each other._ Under a blanket. Wearing very little. Jack felt an odd rage swell up within him. He didn't know who at or why - maybe Ben, for abducting them all in the first place, or Juliet, for lying to him. At Sawyer, for stealing the girl Jack thought he had developed a strong bond with - or even at Kate, for abandoning him. As he watched, the flickering image of Kate lifted herself up and kissed Sawyer, before falling back onto his chest.

"If it helps, I was surprised, too," said a voice from behind him. Jack turned, saw Ben, and quickly lifted the gun up. "If I were a betting man, I would have picked her and you," Ben continued, and Jack felt even worse. It should have been her and him. So what the hell was she doing with Sawyer? He knew she'd had a thing for him, but he hadn't realised it was serious…

"Shut up!" he said, hiding the ache in his chest with anger, and pressed the end of the gun into Ben's chest.

"Well. I suppose this would be the proverbial nail in my coffin, wouldn't it?" Jack paused. Ben was dying. Jack was a _doctor_. He couldn't kill a man. He _couldn't_. he was in it to help people, even when the didn't want it…

"Tomorrow," he said, forcing his mind away from the times he had saved Sawyer's life. If he had known this would happen, would he have done it? Sawyer had always made it perfectly clear he would let Jack die.

"Sorry?" Ben asked, confused, as Jack lowered the gun.

"Tomorrow morning. First thing. And everything I mentioned before. The instruments. The anaesthesia. And someone who can hold a damn clamp." Ben's face lifted as he realised what Jack was saying.

"Yes. Of course," he agreed.

"I'll get it out, your tumour. And I'll keep you alive. But I need your word. I need what you promised me before. I need to get the hell off this island."

Ben smiled, congratulating himself on the plan. "Done."

* * *

**The Next Morning…**

Kate woke to the sound of rain falling. For a moment, she thought that was what had pulled her out of the most pleasant sleep she'd had since they'd been captured. Then she heard boots treading through puddles, coming towards them.

"Sawyer!" she yelled, and he woke up immediately. She pulled him to his feet, and when he saw Pickett walking towards them, he tried to shield her behind him, while she was trying to do the same thing.

"Well, well, well. Look who got out of her cage. You shoulda run when you had the chance. Let's go, James," he said, coming through the open cage door, his friend already pulling out his gun.

"Don't, please! You don't have to do this," Kate begged, holding onto Sawyer's arm as if she could stop them from coming any closer with such a simple action. She was wrong.

"He's coming with me, and there's nothing you can do about it! Step away!" Pickett yelled, and lunged forward. Sawyer pushed Kate out of the way, to stop Pickett from hurting her, but she dodged back in between Sawyer and Pickett.

"Step away!" Pickett repeated, and Sawyer firmly pushed Kate away, hard enough that she lost her balance and couldn't come back in front. He then punched Pickett, grabbing the hand with the gun. He twisted Picket's hand around, so that the gun wasn't aiming at him any longer. Neither man could move without the other gaining the upper hand. Pickett suddenly turned sideways, and smiled. His companion had twisted Kate's left arm behind her back, and pushed her up against the bars of the cage. There was a gun sticking into the back of her neck.

"You let go, or I do her too!" Pickett told Sawyer. He looked over at Kate, helpless, and made up his mind. "Let go!" Picket repeated.

"Don't you let go! Don't you think about it, Sawyer, you fight!" Kate yelled. Her concern for him made his chest ache, and he realised just how much he loved her. He wouldn't let them do anything to her, and if his life was what was needed, so be it. He let go of Pickett's hand.

"No! Sawyer, NO!!" Kate screamed. How could he do this? Pickett spun him around and pushed him through the open door, away from Kate. "No, NO!! Sawyer, PLEASE! You get your hands off of him!" she yelled, struggling against the man holding her, not caring if he fired the gun, knowing only that she loved Sawyer, that he was going to die, and she was trapped, unable to help him…

"Get on your knees!" Pickett yelled, kicking Sawyer's legs out from under him, so that he landed on his knees in the mud. The rain continued to fall.

"Please!! I'll do anything you want!" Kate called, and she meant it. Surely, that was what he wanted, for her to do something? Surely this wasn't just revenge? She would do what they asked her, whatever it took, even her own life, to save him.

"I want you to watch!" Pickett called back, and Kate felt her throat close up. Sawyer just waited, kneeling on the ground. He no longer seemed to care. Kate thought she might have been crying, but it was raining too heavily to tell for sure.

"Close your eyes, Freckles," said Sawyer, not facing her. Her knees trembled, and she felt another burst of anger hit her, this time at Sawyer, for letting it happen.

"Stand up!"

"Close your eyes!" he repeated, more firmly. Pickett aimed the gun at Sawyer neck, his finger quivering on the trigger. Sawyer closed his eyes.

"NO! NO! NO!" Kate screamed into the rain, but then instinct took over and she squeezed her eyes shut.

"This is for Colleen. You son-of-a-bitch!" Pickett said, and for a moment, Sawyer was clearly aware of his heart pumping, and the push of his blood moving through his veins, and the air running into his lungs, and the rain dripping down his back.

Kate heard a bang, the sound rippled through her, and she couldn't help herself - she opened her eyes. For a split second, she saw Sawyer still kneeling in the mud, and allowed herself to hope, to pray, that Sayid and Locke had found them, and were here to rescue them, and that was their gunshot… then she saw Sawyer give a soft hiccup and topple forward, a crimson hole in his neck.

Her knees buckled, and the man holding her at gunpoint stepped back. She fell down, her eyes wide, staring straight ahead. Tears stung her eyes, but she didn't care. Pickett looked up, as a thin trail of smoke came out the barrel of his gun, only to be lost in the rain. And he smiled.


	2. Lost

Quick note

Okay, now the actual fic starts. I wasn't planning on turning this into a Kate/Jack/Juliet thing, but if anyone wants to see anything of the sort happen… just let me know. By the way, I'm all for constructive criticism. Enjoy!

* * *

CHAPTER TWO

Jack woke slowly, at first not realising where he was. Then he remembered… being captured by the others… meeting Juliet… doing the surgery on Ben… and afterwards, returning to the damn fish tank. Juliet had promised him it was only for a little while, and Jack had believed her. Now, he would see. Whether Ben would keep his promise and send Jack home, or just save himself the trouble and kill him.

The cold wind hitting his face made him open his eyes. He wasn't in the tank. He was outside, and for a moment, wondered if Ben had just dumped him back near the survivor's camp. Surely not. Then he saw the thick metal bars, and knew he was still a prisoner. But why had he been moved?

He tried to stand, but his legs felt like jelly and his feet were strangely numb. His mind was functioning much too slowly. He stretched out a hand to steady himself as he tried to rise again, but paused when he saw the piece of cotton fluff taped over the inside of his elbow. He felt an odd sense of déjà vu. He'd been drugged, obviously. He paused. His mind was still fuzzy, and recalling the events of the day before were like trying to remember a dream from a week ago.

Juliet had been disappointed after the surgery, when she realised he was not going to fulfil her request to kill Ben. Jack hadn't tried, because he had already proven to himself that he was not capable of killing. He had tried to rationalise it, as he lay awake the night before the surgery, wondering to himself whether he would help Juliet, but as much as he insisted on telling himself that Ben probably deserved it, he knew that he wasn't the one to do it. He didn't hate him - despite everything, Jack couldn't hate him. Not to say that he liked him - far from it. And besides - he had promised to keep him alive.

Finally surrendering to the overwhelming exhaustion in his legs, and abandoning his futile attempts at remembering last night, Jack rolled over onto his back, so he was looking up at the top of the cage he was in. The air was thick with moisture - the way it would be just after heavy rain. After all his time inside, he had almost forgotten the frequent rainstorms that hit the island. Turning his head, he could see another cage, slightly bigger, across from him. A figure was hunched inside of it, and Jack instantly recognised the dark brown curls. He forced himself to his knees, pulling himself up using the bars of the cage.

"Kate!" he called. The figure jerked, and he paused. She was sitting on the ground, with her knees pulled up to her face, her hair covering her face. "Kate!" he called again. "It's Jack. Kate!" She didn't look up, but gave a soft moan and he saw her shoulders heave.

Frustrated by the bars, Jack turned away. Why wouldn't she answer him? His fuzzy mind pulled up the picture of Kate and Sawyer… lying together. Jack's chest gave an uncertain twist. Then his brain caught up.

"Kate? Kate, look at me! Where's Sawyer? Where is he, Kate?" Jack knew instantly he'd found the problem. Had they taken Sawyer away and locked him here instead? Too bad for her. She began rocking back and forth, and his brow furrowed. He called her name again, and finally she looked up.

Jack was horrified by what he saw. There were bruises under both eyes, highlighted by the sheen of tears dripping down her face. She was dirty, but what shocked him the most were her eyes. Their normally bright green enthusiasm was gone; instead, despite the distance between the two cages, he could see how bloodshot they were, and what scared him more than anything else, they were filled with despair.

"Where's Sawyer?" Jack asked again, now worried. Kate was too strong to be torn up just because they'd taken him away. The knot in his chest tightened, for a different reason. At the mention of Sawyer's name, something flashed through Kate's eyes, and for a moment, she didn't see him.

"He's gone," she gasped out, and a violent shudder shook her.

"Gone where?" Jack asked. "Talk to me, Kate."

"He's… they… they shot him. Right here, right in front of me." Jack felt light the ground had opened up beneath him. Kate wasn't just upset because he was dead. She'd been traumatised, put through a situation most people wouldn't even remain sane through. Looking at the hollowness in her eyes, Jack wondered if she was mad. She gave another low moan, and began rocking back and forth, her head on her knees again.

Jack thought of the last time he had seen her, bound and gagged on the pier. Just before they'd had the bags pulled over their heads, he'd tried to reassure her, to silently promise her that it would be all right. And when he was honest with himself, he knew she had believed him. She was the sort of person who needed something to believe in, and without it, she would fall apart.

"Kate, I'm here, I'm here now. Talk to me." She didn't respond and for a moment, Jack felt her helplessness sweep over him. She was lost to him, and he didn't know if he could ever find her. Where was the funny girl who'd casually asked him if he was checking her out, on the way back from their first trip to the caves? Where was the determined woman, always ready for another hike into the jungle?

Jack paused. Another hike into the jungle. Like the one that had gotten them into this mess. He punched the bars, hard, and heard his knuckles crack. With effort, he repressed a yell. If only he'd been thinking more clearly! If he hadn't been so angry about Ana and Libby's deaths, he would have made up a much more rational plan. _Stupid!_ he cursed. Then he remembered, Sawyer had had a thing with Ana… he'd only come to get revenge for her death, and instead been killed himself.

"Look at me, Kate," Jack tried again. He felt his strength failing. "Please, Kate, please, help me." He didn't know why he said the last part, but it certainly caught her attention. She looked up, and saw him, as if for the first time.

"Jack?" she asked, her voice weak.

"It's me," he said. He needed to say something, to get her mind on track. "Don't give up, Kate," he said, once again surprised at the words coming out of his mouth. "I need you Kate. Right now, I need you."

"I can't help you," she said, and for a moment, he felt her. He felt that special part of her that he could never delete from himself. Without realising it, she had become a part of him, a part he couldn't let go. And even though her words were pessimistic, and her voice flat, Jack knew that she was taking the first step towards healing.

"Yes you can, Kate," Jack encouraged. Get her talking, first, keep the conversation away from what had happened, make sure she knew that she wasn't alone.

"No, I can't," she said strongly. "I can't help anyone, I couldn't help _him_…" her words were cut off by a sob. Jack waited, to see if she would fill the gap. She did. "It was my fault. They had me at gunpoint, and he let them do it. If I'd fought harder, he wouldn't have given up." This time, when she paused, Jack knew he had to stop her, before she completely self destructed.

"Kate, he was willing to give his life for you. Don't give up," he said, and for a moment, he thought he had reached her. Her shaking stopped, and she was staring at him as if he had just denounced his medical training. Then Jack realised she was, if anything, worse than she had been before. Her hands were trembling, and her shoulders were quivering, but apart from that, she was entirely still. Still in a way that reminded him of the dead.

She put her head back on her knees, and would no longer respond to him, no matter what he said.

* * *

"It's working," Juliet remarked, listening to Jack calling Kate's name, watching his desperate attempts to gain her attention on the monitor. Ben didn't reply. He was still incapacitated, lying on his back on a medical bed, relying on her to tell him what was happening outside. She clicked the walkie talkie off, and watched Jack calling so desperately to Kate.

_He _is_ cute,_ she thought to herself. She didn't get to watch him much. Even with his attention turned on someone other than her, Juliet felt a connection to him. She half hoped that Ben's plan would fail, and Jack would leave. It would hurt, sure, after all the effort she had exuded to establish a friendship, but not as much as if she saw him turn away from her, towards Kate.

Ben's voice finally came through the walkie talkie.

"Give it another hour. Then bring him in," he said, and Juliet nodded, forgetting that Ben couldn't see her.

"'Kay," she said, just to let him know she'd heard. With nothing to do for another hour, Juliet sat down in Ben's chair, rarely vacated, and continued watching Jack, wondering… would he ever consider her?

* * *

Jack had regained his balance, and desperation to reach Kate had renewed his strength. Standing on one leg, he kicked at the metal bars of the cage as hard as he could. They barely even registered the impact, though he was left with a dull pain in his foot.

"Don't waste your energy," came Kate's voice, and he saw her looking at him. "They're too thick. Built to withstand polar bears." Jack tried to gauge if she had made any improvement. She was no longer crying, but had resorted to sitting cross legged on the dirt floor of the cage, staring blankly. When she talked to him, offering a sentence or two about what had happened to her in the past week, Jack noticed she was talking with a certain sense of detachment. This wasn't Kate - this was a husk. A talking, crying, empty shell.

He only hoped it wasn't too late to find her, and bring her back.

Juliet decided against taking the handcuffs. She figured Jack probably wouldn't appreciate the gesture. She did, however, tuck a taser into her pocket, in case he acted unpredictably. Tucking a loose strand of hair behind one ear, she headed out to the cages.

Jack had given up on attacking the bars of the cage, and at the same time, given up on reaching Kate for the moment. Even after his repeated attempts to bring her out of herself, she would only reply flatly and briefly. There was no trace of her remembering all the time they had spent together before being captured. No jokes, no smiles… none of those appraising looks she gave him whenever he suggested something different.

Jack looked up at the sound of feet coming towards him. It was Juliet. He jumped to his feet, and started towards her. She smiled, as though everything was perfectly normal. But Jack was determined to get a reason for Sawyer's death. He felt an odd pang every time he thought about the man, who only a week ago, had almost called Jack a friend. Jack got the feeling Sawyer had never called anyone else that before. And it was his fault he was dead.

Juliet saw Jack open his mouth, ready to bombard her with accusations, but she held up one hand, the one holding a key. She inserted it into the padlock on the cage, and opened the door.

"What the hell is going -" Jack began, but Juliet gave him a stern look, then smiled again.

"Come on," she said, turning away. Jack hesitated. Juliet turned. "Aren't you coming?"

"Where?" he asked, guarded.

"Home, remember?"


	3. Smiles

Quick Note

Hi all! Several things… Thank you so, so, so, so much to all those who read, and an even bigger thankyou to all those who reviewed. Now I know I said I would update quickly, but I decided to get smart with myself and write chapter 3 at school. Trouble is, I left it there. So I had to wait a day before I could upload it. In the meantime, though, I got some more chapter written, so to make up for the delay, I'll give you chapter four now as well. Thanks for your opinion on the J/J/K thing, I didn't really want it to happen anyway, so it won't (much). No, Jack is not a consolation prize. More on that to come! And as for you people worried about Kate becoming lost forever... that would make the story kinda boring, wouldn't it, cause she's one of my main characters!

* * *

Chapter 3

"Home?" Jack repeated, thrown off balance. He certainly remembered the deal he'd made with Ben. But all along, he hadn't really let himself believe it. It would be too hard to have to face staying if - when - it all turned out to be a lie. "Now?" he asked, stunned.

"Well, not right _now_," Juliet said with another small smile, suggestive of a laugh without quite going there. "Ben wants to talk to you first, tell you how it's going to work."

And so Jack followed, for the first time, allowing himself to imagine what it would be like. He assumed the Others had a ship of boat of some kind… or a small plane? Maybe a helicopter. He thought of Kate. She'd come with him, of course… he didn't think Ben would object to that. Or would he? Jack paused, causing Juliet to look behind, encouraging him on with another one of those suggestive, yet almost sinister, smiles, and his heart beat faster.

She led him inside, back to the operating room. Ben was lying on his side, reading a book. Jack couldn't see the cover, but the writing was small and cramped, and Ben seemed very absorbed. Juliet cleared her throat.

Ben turned his head, rolling onto his back slowly so he could see them both, and smiled. Jack felt a rush. It was the sort of expression he'd never seen Ben with before, and it scared him, as though it couldn't be real.

"Well, Jack," Ben said, and left the sentence hanging.

"Hello, Ben," Jack replied, his shoulders gaining a new tenseness at the formality of the greeting. "How's your…"

"It's doing very well. I've regained some of the feeling in my legs now – I couldn't move them much after I woke up," Ben said, looking quite pleased with himself, as though the recovery of his body was somehow his doing. "I never had the opportunity to thank you properly."

Jack wondered whether this last sentence was the thanks, or if there was more coming. He shrugged. "I'm a doctor. It's my job to help people… no matter who they are."

"Well, I'm certainly grateful you were here. And while I'm at it, I want to apologise… for abducting you and your friends. I see now, knowing more about you, that things could have been done differently." Jack nodded, but Ben had given him an opening.

"You killed Sawyer," he said flatly. Ben sighed, looking repentant.

"That wasn't my doing. I'm sure you remember Colleen…" Ben looked at Jack, who couldn't tell whether the look was thankful that Jack had tried to save her life, or accusatory that he'd failed. Jack nodded, knowing that of all the patients that had died in front of him, he would always remember Colleen, and feel the guilt that haunted him – if he hadn't been so angry at her people, would he have tried harder? Would he have been able to save her?

"Anyway, I'm sure you've already guessed why she was injured…" Once again, Jack nodded, but didn't press for details. "Her husband, Danny, wanted revenge. He used Sawyer as a channel for his hate, and his anger. He thought that if he killed one of your people, he would have had his revenge. Only once Sawyer was dead did he realise Colleen wasn't coming back. He killed himself."

Jack took a deep breath, and closed his eyes for a moment. If someone had killed the one he loved, wouldn't he want revenge? His thoughts turned to his march through the jungle to get here, alongside the traitor Michael, after Ana Lucia's and Libby's deaths. He hadn't been thinking clearly. He'd been angry. And suddenly, Danny's actions seemed perfectly logical.

"But, onto a lighter note," said Ben, giving a smile Jack could only assume was sincere. "You did what you said you would. When you turned on that gas, I was half wondering whether I would ever wake up again… but not only did you keep me alive, like you promised, you gave me another shot at life."

"I'd like to run some more tests, check if it's malignant," Jack said, knowing what Ben was building up to. "It was still relatively small once I got it out, only a few inches, and you'd discovered it several months before, so it obviously wasn't spreading. I think it's gone for good, but a blood sample will show me for sure."

"Okay, but we made a deal Jack," Ben said, and Jack felt the bottom of his stomach twist with excitement. He kept a straight face, however. "We have a submarine, and it's making its next trip to the mainland tomorrow. Unfortunately, there's a hitch." Jack swallowed. _Here it comes… the fantastic reason I can't go home._

"The blood sample will only take a few hours," he said calmly, though his mouth had gone dry.

"Oh, no, it's not that," Ben said, smiling reassuringly. "But a little over a week ago, your friend Locke made a decision with rather catastrophic consequences." Jack frowned. What did Locke have to do with this? "He did what you wanted to do for so long, and didn't push the button in the hatch."

Of all the things Jack could have anticipated, this wasn't among them. "What? I mean, what happened?" he asked.

"An electromagnetic pulse was sent around the island, and it wiped out all our communication systems. Our only way of contacting the outside world right now will be to send the submarine. However, due to the loss of our tracking system, once it leaves… it won't be able to come back. Ever."

Jack laughed out loud. "I don't think that's a problem. I don't have this place on my list of favourite vacation spots," he said, but Ben was looking entirely serious.

"Yes, I know the island hasn't been too kind to you in the past. But, it makes what I'm about to say rather difficult."

Jack looked at him carefully. Was he allowed on the submarine or not?

"We want you to stay, Jack. Now, don't misread me here… if you want to leave tomorrow, you can. But, our only doctor was killed by your people a fair while ago, and if you're willing…"

"You're offering me a job?" Jack asked, very nearly rendered speechless by the sheer magnitude of questions that had just formed in his head. "Wait, who was your doctor?"

"His name was Ethan," Ben said, and this time Jack definitely caught a trace of an accusation. "He was a brilliant physician, studying the healing properties of the island. He found that the time it takes for the body to heal is only a quarter of what it would need anywhere else."

Jack absorbed this new information. The thought of an island with awesome healing powers was attractive. The idea of going home was stronger. Ben could obviously see this.

"What's back there for you, Jack?" he asked. "Who is there? Your ex-wife, who doesn't want to see you anymore? Your mother, who will undoubtedly blame you for your father's death? Your job, at the hospital, where there is always someone newer, younger, _better_, to leapfrog past you?

"I know we got off on the wrong foot. I know what we have done to you and your friends was certainly the wrong way to go about getting what we needed. I can see now where I made mistakes, and believe me… if I could make the choices over, I would probably choose differently. I'm sorry."

Jack hesitated. The apology seemed sincere. The voice was perfectly even, offering no traces of sarcasm or tricks. It seemed that Ben was truly sorry for what had happened. But something, maybe a glint of warning in Juliet's eye, or a miniscule falter in Ben's smile warned him that despite the honeyed words, there was no repentance. He smiled back, however, ready to make his choice.

"I… I'm flattered. But really, I think I need to go home. I can't… give up… on ever getting back. I'm not sure I could live with myself."

Ben didn't react as Jack expected. He didn't continue trying to convince Jack of his good intentions, or plead, or get angry, or change his mind and say that Jack wasn't allowed on the submarine. He just gave a small, sad, smile.

"Well, Jack, I must say, I am disappointed – though not surprised – at your decision. The sub will be here tomorrow." Jack nodded in relief. He was about to bring up the topic of Kate going with him, but Ben beat him to it. "If you want, you can say goodbye to Kate." Jack felt the muscles in his jaw tighten.

"About that… I want to take her with me," he said. Ben gave him a withering look.

"I'm afraid you can't do that, Jack. I thought you knew - we still need her. If you're leaving tomorrow, you're leaving her behind."


	4. A choice

Quick note

Hmm… no one saw that coming! Oh wait… you did? Sorry, need to work harder on those twists. Well, not much happens here… and sorry, despite being two chapters at once, this one is much shorter, so it's not that much more. Oh well. Kate comes back in this one, which is something. That's my favourite part. Enjoy!

* * *

Chapter Four - A Choice

"Leave her behind?" Jack repeated dumbly. There was a moment of silence as he absorbed the new information. Then he began to get angry. "No way! Have you seen her? She's a wreck! And you expect me to leave her to your tender care?" he yelled. Juliet took a step forward and laid a hand on his arm. He glared at her, and she flinched ever so slightly, but didn't step back. She met his gaze, and after a tense moment, he looked away, back at Ben.

"Jack, we had a deal. You do the surgery, and then go home. No passengers," Ben argued. Jack felt the blood pounding through his head, and suddenly, as though someone had written it all down, what had happened opened like a map.

Ben had ordered Sawyer dead. He'd left Jack with Kate so that he'd want to help, then given him the choice - go home alone, or stay here with Kate. Ben wanted Jack to stay on as a doctor, but recognised that Jack wouldn't stay willingly.

"You're a real son-of-a-bitch, you know that?" Jack snarled. Ben just gave him a level look, which was quite an achievement, considering he was lying on his back on a table about the height of Jack's hip. Jack turned away, disgusted.

"Were you planning this from the beginning?" he asked. He wasn't too sure what would be better - for Ben to have been lying to him from the beginning, or to be redesigning his plan whenever something new happened.

"I can give you what I promised Jack," was all Ben said in reply. Jack turned away, and started for the door. "It's your choice whether you take it!" Ben called, as Juliet hurried after Jack.

* * *

Juliet led Jack to what looked like a small lodge. Then Jack realised it was more like several little rooms stuck together, reminding him of a school camp. They walked up a couple of quaint steps, and along the front porch, until they reached the last door to the right. Juliet pushed the door open, then gestured for Jack to enter.

Inside was a bed, a small desk, and a cupboard for clothes. Jack sat down on the bed, while Juliet pulled the chair out from underneath the desk. There was a moment of silence, as both were lost in their own thoughts. Jack spoke first.

"Was he planning this all along?" he asked.

"To blackmail you into staying? Well, I know he arranged Sawyer's death. And I know he wanted you to see…" Juliet stopped, a slight flush of crimson at the base of her neck. Jack pretended not to see it.

"He lied," said Jack.

"Not technically," Juliet corrected him. "It's one of Ben's strong points, one he's incredibly proud of. He will never _lie_. He may say something is _likely_ to happen, and get away with not doing it, or do what he just did to you; blackmail people into agreeing with him, without rendering his side of the bargain void."

There was another silence. This time, Juliet spoke first.

"What will you do?" There was no doubt in the small room what she was referring to.

"I don't know," said Jack. He paused, trying to find the words to ask what he was feeling. "What will happen to Kate if I leave?" Juliet looked down, but Jack didn't fill the gap, so eventually she answered his questions.

"He'll probably kill her. It depends…" she began, then stopped, knowing Jack wouldn't like what she was about to say.

"On what?" Jack persisted. Juliet hesitated again, and Jack reached forward, and picked up her hand. "Depends on _what_?" he reiterated, more persistently.

"On whether… she's pregnant," Juliet said softly, knowing how much those words would hurt him. Jack nodded slowly.

"And Ben… what? Doesn't want to hurt innocent children?" he asked rather scathingly. Juliet shook her head.

"I told you, I'm a fertility doctor. So far, there have been severe problems with all the pregnancies on the island. All the women…" again Juliet paused, but Jack squeezed her hand, and she knew she had to tell him. "Sometime during the pregnancy, something goes wrong. They die. There have been nine deaths in the past three years."

Jack felt an invisible hand reach in and squeeze all the air out of his lungs. If he left, Kate would almost certainly die - whether Ben killed her, or a pregnancy did. If he stayed, she might die anyway. Ben's words echoed in his ears… _Why do you want to go back? What's there for you?_ And he had to admit, there wasn't much back home that was worth anything…

"I'll leave you to think, if you want?" Juliet said, rising. Jack hesitated, as her hand fell out of his, then nodded. Maybe there was another reason for staying…

* * *

Kate shivered as night fell. She still had only the slight shirt and thin jeans she'd been given a few days ago. That was when Sawyer had started acting strangely, she realised. And now she knew why - he hadn't wanted to tell her that they weren't on the right island, that there was no chance of getting away… that trying was hopeless.

She gave a pitiful laugh, one tinted with madness rather than humour. Surely it would have been better to run, to have a small chance, than to wait like they had, for him to be lead out like a pig to slaughter? She shivered again, and goose bumps lifted up on her arms, though this time it had nothing to do with the cold.

She stared out the bars of the cage, at the spot where his body had fallen. Earlier, she thought she had seen a leaf speckled with blood, but had been unable to reach it to check, and then the wind had blown it away... The rain had washed away all the traces of blood, and Pickett had moved Sawyer's body. Kate didn't want to image where. He'd probably dumped it in the ocean, or burnt it. Now she had nothing, but the stabbing memories of him. Part of her wanted to forget, to erase the memories, and erase the pain… another part knew that no-one else had ever cared about him, and that if she let him go, he would be deleted, as if he had never existed.

Kate tried to keep her thoughts on him and away from him at the same time. It hurt to think about him - or rather, to think about what had happened, which was where thoughts of him inevitably led - but it also hurt to think about not thinking about him, which was the closest she could come to putting him out of her mind.

Every time she stopped concentrating on her line of thought, whenever she didn't control it very carefully, the scene from the previous morning appeared before her again, almost as though it was happening over. The outcome was always the same. A bang, she opened her eyes… and he would fall forward. And then Pickett would smile.

She was blocking out everything but the memories of him, and concentrating on everything but them. Finally, her mind had fallen into a state of beautiful numbness. She didn't want to let herself sleep, in case her dreams were stalked by images of his death.

Eventually, though, she had to admit that she was tired, and lay down in the dirt, curled into a foetal position to retain some minimal warmth. For getting pretty hot during the day - an effect of living so close to the equator - the nights were cold, especially if it was windy or rainy. She had carefully positioned her body exactly where Sawyer had laid his only two nights ago. She was almost hoping, through some inexplicable means, that some of his body heat would have stayed, or that he had made some impression on the ground… something that would prove he was still here.

But she eventually had to accept, as the night wore on, that the laws of nature and physics care not for life nor love. And finally, she slept.


	5. A decision

Quick Note

Hmm… this one… I had a bit of trouble with. Initially, it was two chapters, but they were both pretty short, so I decided just to bung them together. BTW, I don't think I've mentioned yet, but I'm Australian, so if I'm getting any of the words wrong (like I switched 'holiday' for 'vacation' when Jack was talking) or measurements, just let me know, and I'll work harder to fix them up. I just want to create a sense of realism - if Claire or Sayid are talking, I can use metric for them, etc, etc. Staying in character.

Oh, why are so many people worried that Kate is pregnant? You're right, it's the last thing I want to happen… but you see, sometimes I follow the storyline, not what I like or dislike. So, in this fic, is she pregnant? You'll have to wait and see.

* * *

**Chapter Five**

It was well after midnight, but Jack still couldn't sleep. At one point, he got out of bed and tested the door. It was unlocked, and he stood outside, looking up. The sky was patchily overcast, only a few stars shining through, but there wasn't that smell in the air that meant rain was coming. A few months ago, he wouldn't have known there was a particular smell before rain hit. Living in the wilderness had taught him a lot. He wondered whether it had taught him too much.

Jack had the odd feeling he could leave if he wanted to, right now… but where would that get him? He could go back, he realised. Not to 'the real world' as everyone kept calling it. Back to his friends. Sayid, and Hurley, and Claire… and he knew they'd all be glad to see him. He felt a wriggling in his stomach. By taking the submarine ride, wouldn't that be betraying them? He shivered in the cool air. Like Michael had betrayed them. He had sacrificed his friends to get home. Jack wondered if he had it in him to do the same.

Of course, it wasn't like he would be killing anyone to get there… his jaw clenched. If he left, Kate would die. Maybe. And it wasn't like it was just for him… he would tell the world that they had survived. He would tell them they were on an island. And the rescue teams would fire up again, and in a short amount of time, would find everyone… would they all hate him for saving himself if he was the reason they were rescued?

Jack shook his head, and walked back inside, lying down on the bed again, absently watching a small spider weave its web in the corner or the room. He'd turned the light on a couple of hours ago, knowing that he wouldn't be sleeping until he made a decision. But with each passing hour, the choice became harder. If only he could talk to Kate… he thought. But would Ben let him? He snorted silently. If he was going to stay, go back to being a doctor, without the pressures of being a leader, he wasn't going to answer to Ben.

Lifting to his feet again, he crept outside, wincing as the wood floor creaked. He tried to recall the route he and Juliet had taken to get here from the main building… from there he could get to the cages. He needn't have worried - the path was obvious, even in the dark. Jack noted that despite the darkness, he could see well enough. After all the times he had gone walking through the dark jungle, his night vision had improved. Or maybe, with less electrical light, the stars and moon shone brighter.

He made it the entire way to the cages before he saw the flaw in his plan. Kate would be asleep. Still, he kept forward. Maybe just seeing her would be enough to help him make up his mind. But within him, he knew that by thinking these things, he had already made his decision. More than anything, he wanted to see her, to talk to her… and he knew he wouldn't be able to live with himself if he left and she died.

He remembered the camera, but didn't pay any attention to it, other than a brief look when he arrived. If Ben was watching - though Jack assumed not, as he would be needing a lot of sleep in the recovery from the surgery - Jack had just proven he didn't care. He would take the consequences for this if he had to.

He crept forward, unknowingly stopping in the same spot Sawyer had been shot. He could see Kate, sleeping, her dark hair framing her face. He shivered. She looked so… peaceful, when asleep. He had never seen such a look on her face when she was awake.

He didn't make any move to wake her. From her condition earlier - Jack winced inwardly at the thought of it - he had wondered whether she would be able to sleep. He wondered what she would say if she woke up with him here.

He tried to think of how he would feel if he left her behind. For a moment, the night seemed to grow colder, the light dimmer, and his heart rate seemed to slow. Funny, he hadn't even known her that long, and he couldn't bear the thought of losing her. _But she had chosen Sawyer… _he reminded himself. But did that matter? With Sawyer gone, would he have another chance? And, he realised suddenly, he wanted another chance with her.

For a moment, he wondered why it had taken so long for him to see how he felt about her. Had their lives needed to be in danger? No, because that had happened enough times, and on most of those occasions, he'd ended up yelling at her in some way, and they'd be stuck in a stony silence for the next week or even two. _Why_ did she always want to go hiking into the jungle? Why couldn't she just stay behind, just once? Why couldn't she see he just wanted to protect her?

Like the time they went out to the Black Rock, and he'd put the dynamite in his own pack rather than hers. Like hell he was going to let her risk her neck like that! And then she'd been the first to go down the hatch. And then, the night she followed them, as they went after Michael. That definitely hadn't turned out too well. And of course, last week when she'd had to come on the quest to rescue Walt. He paused, remembering the events before they left. How Michael had only wanted him, Sawyer, Kate and Hurley to come. Of course, those had been his orders. But he'd had to struggle to fulfil them, Jack thought bitterly. Hurley hadn't wanted to go, and Sawyer had wanted to take Sayid. _Wait…_had_ Kate wanted to go_? Jack thought. Everyone had just assumed she would.

Jack sighed, and regretfully turned away from the cage. He couldn't let them hurt her anymore than they already had. But still… how could he justify staying, when leaving might save them all? _Might_, he reminded himself. That's not even a certainty. They couldn't find us before. They never found Rousseau.

He chewed his lip. He knew what he wanted. He wanted to go home.

* * *

Ben waited, and Jack met his gaze evenly. Ben had recovered enough strength to be moved, and was now in a private room, like the one Jack was staying in, only nicer. He was sitting up in bed, waiting for Jack's decision. 

"I want to leave," Jack said. "I want to go home. But not on the submarine." For a moment, Ben stared at him in wonder, before realising what he was saying. For Jack, the definition of 'home' had changed. Ben had asked what he had to go to - there was nothing for him in the real world. But he did have something waiting for him back at the little corner of beach they called their own. Ben was ready to say something, but Jack continued talking.

"I also want to take Kate with me," he paused, then gave a wry - and somehow mocking - smile. "Bu I think we all know you'd never agree to that. I can think of a dozen alternatives, but you're just the sort of crazy bastard who'd say no."

"So you're staying?" Ben asked, unable to hide the hope in his voice. Jack gave him a look of utter loathing.

"Yes, I'm staying. But I want you to let Kate go."

Jack held his breath. This was the best he could do for her. Looking at her last night, her beauty marred by the thick steel bars between them, he knew that she didn't belong in there. She needed to be free. Ben seemed to be considering the idea; he turned to Juliet, who was standing on the other side of Ben's bed.

"I told him," she said. Ben nodded.

"Jack, if Kate is pregnant, with us is the safest place she could be. If it turns out she's not, then we'll let her go." Jack met Ben's gaze, and after a brief struggle of wills, Jack nodded. He already knew the Others had more medical equipment than the survivors did, so maybe it would be better for her. He mentally shook himself. She was not pregnant. He wouldn't believe it.

"Deal. And as soon as it's proven she's not, she goes free," Jack said. Ben reached out a hand.

"If. If she's not, she's free to leave."


	6. A deal

Quick Note

I should let you all know, I DO know where this is going. Sort of. Haven't actually written down a plot line… so if you have any ideas you want to share, feel free! (I'll give you proper credit). This chapter was nice, but very hard to write. It is kind of long, which I hope makes up for the delay in writing it.

**Hellmouth20:** Wow, I think you can nearly see where I'm going… but not quite. Lol, you'll have to wait and see.

* * *

Chapter Six

Kate slept well into the morning. Shortly before midday, she woke. Someone had left some food for her, and a bottle of water. She was tempted to refuse it out of spite, but the ache in her stomach, which she had ignored for two whole days now, won out.

She was still trying not to think about Sawyer, and her mind landed on a new topic: Jack. He'd been here yesterday, she realised. Why? She hadn't seen him for so long, and then, when she had finally been able to talk to him, hadn't. What was wrong with her? Jack would have been able to make everything all better, she knew. _He'd have been able to stop them killing Sawyer_, she thought, her eyes filling with tears again, but this time, she swallowed them.

She stood up, her legs screaming in protest. There was a wave of nausea, and she almost fell down. The small pieces of fruit left for her had only taken the screaming edge off her hunger. Her body was still weak, from both lack of nutrition and lack of care.

Sitting down again, Kate looked around the cage. Somehow, every part of it reminded her of Sawyer. And yet, at the same time, there was nothing here to indicate that he'd ever existed. She had subconsciously sat down in the place Sawyer usually did when he got bored of looking out at the small view, and was now flipping a rock between her hands, one of the only ones Sawyer hadn't thrown somewhere. As soon as she realised this, she flung the stone away from her as if stung.

She stood up, using the bars as leverage, and turned to face the large building. From here, she could only see one wall. No doors, or windows… or people. She clenched her jaw. When had Jack left? She tried to recall, but her memory of the past two days was hazy, a fog of disturbing thoughts and images. Then an image came to her; the door to the cage being unlocked by a woman, and Jack's expression as he followed her. What was in his face then? Want? Need? Lust? She'd seen such facial expressions before, and knowing Jack had been looking like that at another woman filled her with a deep sense of betrayal.

Hadn't they, kneeling helpless on the pier, made a silent promise to look out for each other? They hadn't had the ability to say anything, yet Kate was sure, in those last few moments, Jack was trying to tell her something… she had assumed he was promising to protect her. Or was she wrong? Had he been telling her from then on it would be, as Sawyer had proclaimed, 'every man for himself'?

She sighed, and kicked the bars. At the same time, her stomach growled again. She ignored it. She glanced casually at the machine Sawyer had activated to get at the fish biscuits. She could do it. But she didn't want to. In their prisoner complex, that had been Sawyer's job. And she was getting rather sick of eating pet food.

She paced around a little, just for something to distract her from the weakness in her body and the pain in her chest. After several minutes of this, she heard something, and looked up. Jack was coming towards her, with two unfamiliar Others on either side of him. Her first instinct was to run to the bars, to reach out for him, talk to him. Then she remembered the look on his face as he followed the blonde woman… and she didn't move.

One of the Others unlocked the padlock on her cage, and gestured for her to come forward. She did so, cautiously. Was she going to be hauling rocks with Jack now? Once outside the bars, she stood, near to Jack but not looking at him.

"Don't do anything stupid," said the second Other to Jack, and then the two of them walked off, leaving Kate and Jack alone. She felt a tingling run down the back of her spine. Was he working with them now? The silence was deafening. Eventually, Kate couldn't help but turn and look at him.

Jack could see the mistrust coming out through the stiff muscles in her legs and back. She turned to look at him, with that familiar expression of fear and vulnerability, and he felt his heart melt. He reached out, and took her hand in his.

They both felt the difference; his was warm and soft, hers calloused and hard from the last week's physical labour. He suddenly realised he didn't know anything about what had happened to her recently, and she was hit with the fact that she didn't know if she could still trust him. She pulled her hand away.

"What's happening?" she asked, her voice quiet but her tone hard.

"I made a deal with them," Jack said, truthfully enough. Now that he was here, looking at her, he didn't want to have to tell her. He didn't want to hurt her more than she had already been hurt. "Come on," he continued, leading the way back to the small room he had spent last night – or most of it – in.

"Are they letting us go?" Kate asked, her spirits lifting. She knew Jack would make it all better. He could fix anything. Jack didn't reply at first. Her stomach was full of butterflies – if it was good news, he wouldn't be hesitating.

"Not yet. But soon," he tried to reassure her. _I hope_, he added to himself. "Come on," he said, leading her towards the lodge, and the room he was staying in for now.

When they arrived, Jack closed the door after them, and sat down on the bed. After a few moments of indecision, Kate sat beside him rather than opposite him. She suddenly had the thought, that a single sniffle would have him holding her, rocking her, making it all better… but she restrained the urge. Right now, she had no idea who Jack was. He could be waiting for the perfect moment to betray her…

There was an awkward silence.

"I know about you and Sawyer," Jack blurted out, but only succeeded in making things worse. She looked up at him with an odd expression of hurt, and confusion. "I… They told me," he eventually continued. He was sure she wouldn't appreciate his looking on. Unbidden, the image rose to the surface again, but he pushed it away.

Kate didn't know what to say, and looked at her bare feet. Was he blaming her for something? Was he asking forgiveness for not being there? She stayed silent.

"If I'd known what was happening, I wouldn't have let them do it, Kate," Jack said after a few more minutes of silence. She didn't look up, but the muscles in her back tweaked, and he knew she had understood what he'd said.

"I told them not to," she whispered, her voice catching. "I tried… but he just went with them. He let them do it."

And then it happened. They were so close. He reached forward, and pulled her to him. she rested her head on his shoulder, and cried. At one point, she lifted one hand to push him away, but he carefully pulled it down again. She needed this, whether she knew it or not. She couldn't recover until she grieved.

Jack had spent so long away from her, now he relished the closeness. After a while, he felt her sobs subside, and pulled his head away, hearing his neck crick as he did so. She looked up, her eyes puffy and red, streaks of clean through her dirty face. Immediately, she pulled out of his grip, looking horrified.

"I'm sorry," she said to him. How had she let herself do it?

"Kate," he whispered, and she blinked, that look of desperation coming through again. He could see that she wanted to be with him… she wanted to trust him. All he needed to do was reach out -

He stopped his hand before it moved. _You're being stupid_, he realised angrily. She didn't want him, she wanted Sawyer, and Sawyer was dead. If he made a move now, he'd be taking advantage of her weakness. He'd be tricking her, and himself.

For another eternity, they stared at each other, so close, but so determined to stay apart. She stood up, and began pacing the room, her face closing up.

"I need to tell you something," he said. She hesitated in her pacing, but then continued. He swallowed. "Ben and I made a deal, Kate." This time, she did stop, pulling out the chair, and sitting down quickly. Her mouth was dry, and she wanted to ask what the deal was, but she couldn't make her lips move.

"He thinks…" Jack paused. _Good thing she's sitting down_, he thought, and licked his lips. This was going to be hard. "He thinks you could be pregnant."

Jack was ready for a bad response - but he was nowhere near prepared for the reaction that followed. She jumped out of the chair, looking horrified. He stood up, knowing that the worst was still to come. He had to keep her calm. But before he could say anything, try and soothe her, she was heading for the door.

Jack jumped up, and at the same time Kate's hand reached the doorknob, he grabbed her other arm. Without thinking, she swung her elbow out, felt a satisfying impact, and pulled her arm free.

Time stopped. Horrified, Kate stopped moving. She turned around, and saw Jack lying on the floor, one hand cupping his cheek bone. Instantly, she was at his side, pulling his hand away to check the extent of the damage. There was a red mark, but no immediate bruising, so she didn't think she'd broken it.

"I'm sorry," she whispered, meeting his eyes. He looked almost as shocked as she did.

"Pity you didn't do what you did last time I grabbed you," he said with a weak smile, breaking the tension. Kate flushed, thinking back to the kiss they'd shared. "Ow," he said.

Kate looked at it again. "Is it okay?" she asked.

"Yeah, but it'll be a hell of a bruise," he said after a moment of fingering the red skin lightly. His expression grew serious.

"Now, just sit still for a minute so I can finish," he said, giving her a reproachful look. Her mind flipped back to what he had said a minute ago, about the possibility of her being pregnant.

"I can't, Jack," she said, and he heard real fear in her usually controlled voice. "There is no way I could… I don't want…" she found herself unable to find the words to express herself, and sat down again angrily.

"That's okay. It's just a possibility, anyway." Jack stopped again, wondering how much to tell her. He decided to work with a need-to-know basis; no point in scaring her any more than he had already.

"If you're not, they'll let you go," he said. Kate knew what he was saying without him needing to clarify - they would let _her_ go. Not Jack.

"I'm not leaving without you," she said, setting her jaw. Jack sighed.

"I want you to leave without me," he said. "Trust me, Kate. I know what I'm doing."

"Who knows what they'll do to you!" she argued angrily. He shook his head.

"I told you I made a deal with them. I'm staying with them." She glared at him, disgusted.

"You betrayed us? You're joining them?" she hissed.

"I'm doing this for you!"

"I don't want you to do anything for me!" she replied, turning her head so he couldn't see the tears about to form in her eyes. He sighed again.

"When the time comes, Kate, you'll go. You'll tell everyone else what happened to… us. And that I'm safe, and I don't need anyone looking for me."

Frustrated, Kate spared a glance at the door. Jack didn't miss it.

"So that's what you do?" he asked quietly. She looked at him, confused. "Whenever you get scared, you run. You take the easy way out." Kate pretended to ignore his last comment, but he could see her shoulders shaking. He wanted to reach out again, to hold her close, but knew she didn't want him to, and remained still.


	7. Two Big Talks

Quick Note

Okay, all you hard-core Jaters may be a little upset by the first half of this chapter, but I make up for it with the second. Unfortunately, I had this great scene in my head, all the little movements and words planned out, but when I put them down, it didn't seem so great. Enjoy anyway!

BTW, I'm not getting many reviews… is anyone actually reading this? Hellooo! echoes hello, hello, hello… lol, just kidding.

**NYR88:** Yes, they do like to hurt each other! Oh well, like I said, second half of chapter THEY ACTUALLY TALK TO EACH OTHER shock gasp!

**Hellmouth20: **Interesting idea, the rescue party… but we need a few more big lies. The rest of the survivors WILL feature. Just not yet.

Chapter Seven

Jack had left Kate alone in the small room, promising to be back soon. It was about an hour before he came back. She was lying on the bed, on her back, looking at the ceiling. For a moment, he just looked at her. She didn't look peaceful now, though. She looked scared and vulnerable.

"Hey," he said. She looked over, surprised she hadn't heard him come in.

"Hey. Where'd you go?" she asked.

"To check on Ben," he said. He saw the question in her eyes. "He had a tumour - that's why they brought us here. I operated on him, got it out." She looked at him, not saying anything. He pulled out the chair, and she sat up.

"Why help him?" she asked. Jack frowned. Even now, he barely knew.

"What would you have done?" he asked. He saw a gleam of something close to hatred in her eyes, and it scared him.

"I would have killed him," she said. "And I know you could have. Put a scalpel in the wrong place, and no-one would ever know it wasn't an accident…" She noticed him looking at her with an odd expression. He was thinking of how what she had just said was very similar to what Juliet had asked him to do.

"I'm not a murderer, Kate," he said, and she flinched as if slapped. She lay back down on the bed, and resumed staring at the ceiling. He realised he should apologise, but didn't do so. Instead, he changed the topic.

"Tomorrow, we're leaving," he said. She turned her head, mildly interested, but he could still see the hurt he had just inflicted. "Did you know we're not on our island anymore? This is just where they work."

"I knew," she said, her voice flat. "Sawyer told me. That was why… he said there was no point running. Why he didn't even try." Jack felt her slipping over the edge again, and quickly went on.

"Well, because I'm staying with them, this isn't a problem. But since they're going to let you go, they don't want you to see where they're going. Taking you there is a big enough risk. But… I've spoken to Ben, and he said…" Jack paused, knowing that if Kate didn't trust him now, what he would say next would certainly not help. "He said it's your choice; you can wear a hood, or they'll drug you."

Her eyes went wide, and Jack couldn't help but wince inwardly at the two awful choices he had given her. She turned away from him, her innards twisting. For some reason, she had thought that once she was with Jack, everything would be all better. Now she knew better. She had started to trust him, and this was what he did.

She hated the idea of putting one of those hoods back on. They were hard to breathe in, uncomfortable, and as someone who had always had good vision, being so unable to see was terrifying. But when she thought about being drugged, she felt a deep coiled fear, stronger than anything else. She would be totally unable to defend herself, completely helpless. At least with the hood, she retained her wits. And if something happened, if there was a chance to escape, she could always pull it off…

"Tied?" she asked the ceiling.

"I think so," Jack replied, not having any idea, but knowing this was better than saying no, and finding out he was wrong. Silence filled the room again. He reached forward, and took her hand in his. She pulled it away sharply.

Kate realised it would have been easier if she hadn't had to choose, if they'd just done it. Giving them an answer, letting them do it… she shivered. It was too similar to what Sawyer had done. He had had a choice, and knowing that he had submitted to them made the thought of his death even more painful. He'd given up.

She bit her lip. It wasn't that she didn't know which option she preferred. She just found it hard to say the words, to make it real.

"Kate?" Jack asked. "Please, Kate. It's just for a little while. I'll be right beside you, the whole time." A number of snappy retorts sprang to her mind - he would be able to see what was happening, he wasn't in constant fear of the people tying him up, he wouldn't be blind and helpless…

She didn't voice them, though. She sucked in a breath, ignoring the ache in her chest.

"Hood," she whispered eventually. He took her hand again, and gave it a squeeze. She pulled away again, but slower. Why couldn't he even pretend he was still on her side? Why make it so blatantly obvious he was answering to them, doing whatever they told him? Even if he pretended, even if she knew he was lying, it would be easier to believe than the hard truth.

"It'll be all right, Kate," he said, getting up to go tell Ben her decision. She didn't look at him. He had said the words, and all she had to do was believe them. She nodded, and he left, though she knew that nothing would ever be all right again. Michael had betrayed them, Sawyer had betrayed her, Jack had betrayed her, and now she was betraying herself.

* * *

Jack had gone out, and come back with some food for dinner, which they had eaten in silence, but aside from a brief argument that night over who would sleep on the bed (Kate eventually won, by lying down on the floor and refusing to look at Jack again), the two didn't say anything more to each other for the rest of the day. Lying on the floor, Kate knew she didn't want to sleep, even though she was exhausted. She was scared of dreaming of Sawyer, she was scared of bringing the effects of her decision closer, she was scared of waking up and finding Jack gone… she concentrated on Sawyer, using the pain to keep her awake.

What was funny, she realised, was that Sawyer would have been perfectly capable of making her take the bed. He would have made some wisecrack to make her smile, and then making her admit she couldn't ignore him. He would have reached down, tickled her belly until she gave in, and got up. And if she didn't, he would probably just pick her up and put her there.

Without warning, her eyes filled with tears again. Sawyer wasn't like Jack. He would have lied to her, comforted her… she gave a mental roll-of-the-eyes. She wanted Sawyer so that he could _lie_ to her? Stupid! But, she realised, when she had Jack, all she wanted was Sawyer, and when she thought about Sawyer, it made her want Jack. They highlighted the good points in each other - Sawyer's dirty past showed her Jack's honesty, whereas Jack's persistence - sometimes a good thing, but often annoying as hell, Kate thought bitterly - showed her Sawyer's laid back temperament and quick wit.

Jack lay in bed, the air thick with silence, and he could feel that Kate was still awake. He thought about saying something, but couldn't think of anything. Once more, the picture of Kate kissing Sawyer, of Kate snuggling into his chest, of his satisfied expression as he held her…

"Why'd you sleep with him?" Jack asked into the silence. For an instant, he hoped he was wrong, that Kate was asleep, that she hadn't just heard him ask that…

"Because he was going to die," she replied. Jack understood the conversation was happening in perfect conditions - he would never be able to say this if he could see her. Somehow, just talking with her voice made it easier.

"You sleep with all the men who are about to die?" he asked, a trace of anger creeping into his voice.

"We knew what they were planning to do… I couldn't just… I needed to give him something." There was a pause. The tension in the air, as Kate carefully chose her words, was sizzling.

"It was all I had, and it was all he wanted. And he'd been trying so hard… I think I thought he deserved something." Silence. Kate didn't know she was holding her breath, waiting for Jack to reply.

"And… what did you feel?" he eventually asked, and she began breathing again, though her gut clenched at his words.

"I told him I loved him," she said. Now the tension was so tight, both of them were afraid that to keep on with this conversation would snap it like a rubber band, stinging them both.

"And do you?"

Pause.

Jack waited.

The silence continued.

Eventually, her voice reached out through the night.

"Yes, in a way. But it's not the same way I feel about you." They said no more, and shortly they fell asleep.


	8. Relocation

Quick Note

Okay, someone reassure me… do you think Kate's in character? She's my favourite Lostie, and I'd hate to stuff her up. She's very complex, and I'm worried I've made her a little flat and woosy… thoughts?

**Sofia317: **Kate feels betrayed because Jack is basically bringing her messages from Ben, etc. it makes her feel that he's become one of them.

**Hero Lilly: **OMG, it's reviews like that which make me want to write! I was almost crying with happiness as I realised that everyone actually likes this… Thanks!

**NYR88:** Yeah, but I think it was just they had nothing else to say, and it was kinda late. Lol, of course they were scared of that conversation! The whole putting your feelings out there thing… that terrifies a lot of people. And okay, I admit, I wanted to end the chapter and get it up to you guys!

This chapter is quite long, one of the longest yet, though it is largely a filler chapter. Enjoy anyway.

* * *

**Chapter Eight**

In the morning, Jack told Kate they were waiting there until someone came to get them. Neither of them mentioned the conversation of the night before, though Jack did pass her a significant look as she rubbed the stiffness out of her neck. He didn't try and rub it in, however, and the air between them was much easier than usual.

They waited in a companionable silence, Kate doing her best to keep her mind off what was going to happen when someone did come. It wasn't long before there was a knock on the door, and Kate jumped, her face paling ever so slightly. She was determined, however, not to let them see she was afraid.

Jack opened the door to Juliet, and felt an instant warmth. He had, by now, come to think of her as a friend. She was more of a friend than Ben, at least.

"Hey," she said. "Just before we go… can I ask you something?" Jack nodded, and stepped outside, pulling the door to behind him. "What I asked you… about the surgery…" she began awkwardly.

"I'm sorry," Jack said. "Sorry I didn't, you know… I just couldn't. I didn't know how." She nodded.

"It's okay, Jack, really. I was just… hoping you could promise me… you'll never mention it to anyone. If it got to the wrong people, they'd… I'd be in big trouble," she finished somewhat lamely.

"Sure," said Jack, nodding again. There was a moment of awkwardness. He looked down.

"We have to go," she said.

"I'll get Kate," Jack said, turning. Juliet reached forward, and caught his arm.

"Did you tell her?" she asked quietly. He nodded. "How'd she take it?"

"Not too good," he replied, and Juliet nodded. Jack opened the door fully, and half stepped in. Kate looked up, and he caught the fear in her eyes, before she wiped her face clean of emotion. She stood up, and came out. Catching sight of Juliet, the line of her lips thinned, but she didn't say anything. Juliet looked down for a moment, then pulled a pair of handcuffs out of her pocket.

"I'm sorry," she said, sounding genuine. Kate blinked, knowing she had expected this, yet was still having trouble accepting it. Biting her tongue, she reached her hands forward, and Juliet cuffed them together.

For a moment, the two women's eyes met. Kate felt a surge of something powerful, as the beginnings of hatred were being planted inside her. Then Jack moved, and the connection was broken.

"Let's go," he said, and Juliet turned, flashing one of her brilliant smiles at him, then leading the way.

Jack walked beside Kate, trying not to wince every time the metal of the handcuffs clinked. He could see the hairs on her arms standing upright, the only indication of the fear he knew she was feeling.

He had a sudden flash, of the first time he had seen her. She had been walking out of the jungle, rubbing her wrists, and he had been concentrating on the wound in his side. For the first time, he understood what had happened in those moments before she saw him - she had finished taking the Marshall's handcuffs off. He figured that at some point, she had acquired the key, but hadn't actually been able to take the cuffs off until after the crash.

Juliet stopped, and Jack nearly walked into her. They were at the beginning of a small dock, at the end of which rested a medium sized boat. Jack felt his throat constrict as he recognised it - Desmond's boat. Which meant that at some point, there had been close contact between the Other's and his people. Of course, after what had happened to Colleen, Jack had already worked that much out, but here was the proof that the Others hadn't been the only ones to lose something.

Kate recognised it, too, but didn't comment. She spared a thought for Sayid, who had been the last person to have used this boat, and then realised that she may never see him or any of her other friends again. There was nothing she could do, however, so she saved her worry for herself.

They boarded without incident, and set sail. Jack, Kate and Juliet were three of only ten passengers. In the cabin downstairs, Ben was resting, with his daughter Alex looking after him. Three men worked the sails and the steering wheel, while another man and a woman stood guard. Jack wondered if they expected either him or Kate to try anything, and by the stiff way they held their guns, he answered yes to his own question.

Jack led Kate to the prow of the boat, out of the way of the sailors, and they sat down, watching the second, smaller, landmass retreat into the distance, and the larger one - the original island that they had come to call home - loom up in front of them. The boat headed north, circling around the top of the island, and after an hour of sailing, they could see a long wharf. It took another fifteen minutes before they could pick out any details. They were nearly there.

Kate felt her insides squirming, as dread began to course through her blood like a pessimistic adrenaline.

"Jack," she whispered, her mouth going dry. He looked over at her. He'd been revelling in the sound and smell of the ocean, something he'd grown very accustomed to since the crash, and over the past week and a half, started to miss. Now he looked at Kate, whose gaze was caught by the approaching wharf.

"I don't think I can do this," she whispered, though he caught her words easily. Her arms were trembling. "I can't let them… I don't want…" She couldn't finish. Jack stretched an arm around her shoulders.

"Hey, Kate, it's okay. I'm right here. I'll be right beside you, the whole time." He gave her shoulder a squeeze. She didn't respond, her eyes fixed straight ahead. Her throat was tight, and she was finding it hard to breathe.

But despite her fear, the dock kept coming closer. She squeezed her eyes shut at the last minute, and felt the last of the sailboat's speed drop. She couldn't breathe. She fought the urge to cry, rubbing at one eye, the handcuffs forcing her to bring both hands up to do so.

Juliet led Jack and Kate off the boat, and then they waited on the wooden planks. The two armed Others came forward.

Kate's eyes widened. The man grabbed her arm, the other lifted her gun, as the one holding her pulled out the small Hessian bag.

"Jack!" she yelled, not caring now if they heard her fear or not.

"I'm right here, Kate," he repeated. Her breath came in ragged gasps, and there was a movement on her left, and everything went dark. For a moment, she couldn't move. She was paralysed with the fear that was suddenly eating at her. The man still had a grip on her arm, and she tried to stop the trembling.

She shut her eyes, then opened them again, startled that there was no difference. She was blind, completely blind. She couldn't hear, either, and the hood had even cut off the strong salty smell of the ocean. She wanted to scream, to rip the bag off her head, to look at the world and reassure herself it was still there. She had no idea if Jack was still standing next to her, and she had no way to find out.

She forced herself to breathe. _It's only for a little while_, she reassured herself. She made herself take slow, deep breaths, and slowly some of the fear drained away. Then, feeling the man's hand clenched on her arm, she realised she still had one sense left. And she concentrated on that, let it help her. A light wind tickled past her, carrying small drops of salt water. The strong sunlight warmed her.

Not long after she stopped panicking, they were moving. Without actually knowing it, Kate had a tingling feeling there was still a gun trained on her, and she did her best to move quickly. The man holding her arm never let go. She had no idea whether Jack had kept to his word, and was still beside her, or if he'd gone ahead.

Several times, she stumbled. The fourth time, she was pulled roughly to her feet, and for a moment the barrel of a rifle was sticking into her back. Then it was gone, leaving Kate only with a sore spot behind her shoulder.

She was beginning to wish she'd been drugged. She wouldn't have to put up with _this_. Though she had to admit - she had absolutely no idea how long they had been travelling, or in what direction. And, she thought with a chill, she had no idea how much more of this she had to take.

Panic was slowly creeping up on her again. It was a type of unique torture, to keep her moving blind through the jungle, pushing her onwards. Her legs were beginning to ache, too. It had been a long time since she'd done any long distance walking, and she was still suffering from malnutrition.

She was beginning to think she wouldn't be able to move much further. She nearly tripped again, but caught herself. _Jack_, she thought. Where had he gone? Why couldn't she feel him beside her?

The air inside the hood was stale, and she wondered if she was going to suffocate. Her lungs were beginning to complain, though the rational part of her mind knew that the Hessian bag allowed for ventilation.

Her foot caught on a root, and she stumbled again. The woman poked the rifle into her back, and for once, the man let go. Kate fell flat on her face, the cuffs stopping her from using her hands to break her fall.

There was a moment of silence. The man didn't try to pull her back up. She could vaguely hear voices, as if someone was arguing. Then the hood was pulled away, and she was looking into Jack's eyes.

* * *

Jack watched helplessly as they pulled the bag over Kate's head. After a minute, he could see her breathing slowly begin to steady, and some of the trembling in her arms stopped. Once they began moving through the jungle, he could see how hard the two armed Others were making it for her. They did nothing to guide her past the rough patches of ground, and then punished her if she tripped. Jack was getting very fed up with it. 

"How much farther?" he asked after an hour.

"Not long. We're nearly there," said Ben. He was lying on a stretcher, being carried by two of the men who had been responsible for sailing the boat. Alex walked beside him, out of duty rather than concern, as far as Jack could see.

Kate tripped again, but the two guarding her did nothing to stop it. She fell forward, and this time, Jack couldn't help himself. With an angry glare at Ben, he marched to her side.

"Jack! No!" Ben warned him.

"You said we were nearly there. What harm will it do?" he asked, his voice shaking with repressed rage. There was a momentary battle of wills, before Ben nodded. Jack kneeled down, and pulled the bag off Kate's head.

"Hey," he said quietly. Gratitude shone out from her eyes, and Jack gave a weak smile. "We're almost there. You don't need it anymore." He helped her to her feet, and the procession continued onwards.

Kate felt a beam of hope fill her. Jack had stayed. The whole time, he had stayed. She could trust him. She didn't care that she was still a prisoner, being treated like crap, whereas Jack was now a saviour, the good doctor. She didn't care that her hands were still cuffed together, or that her fall would probably result in some large bruises… Jack was with her, and a new strength filled her.

* * *

It wasn't much longer, maybe another ten minutes, before they came to what was obviously a border. A large fence, consisting of huge pylons, twice a person's height, stood in front of them. Despite having no visible signs of danger, Jack and Kate knew to be careful. 

"It's a high frequency sonar fence," Juliet explained. "We have to deactivate it any time we go in or out."

"What happens if you don't?" Jack asked.

"Trust me; you don't want to know." Jack looked at her, unsatisfied. "You'd end up dead, at any rate," she amended.

As one Other typed in the code, Kate unobtrusively shifted her weight so that she was behind him. It was too late, however - the box was already open, and the man was turning off the fence. Standing behind Jack, Kate felt immensely frustrated. She didn't believe Ben's 'promise' to let her go, and this fence would surely inhibit any escape attempts.

"The code changes every day," Juliet was telling Jack. "Only a few people know it." Kate blinked, catching Juliet's last sentence. _Damn_. That really made things hard.

"Do you?" Jack asked.

"Some days," Juliet replied. "If I'm going out for any reason. I go to the other island a fair bit, but that's usually in a group." Jack nodded, as they began moving again. He kept Kate on his right, Juliet on his left.

"It's only a few minutes from here," Juliet told them, though Kate gained the impression she was talking only to Jack. "It'll surprise you, I'm sure."

And she was right - after only a few more minutes of walking, Jack and Kate both stopped and stared at what they could see through the thinning trees. It was a whole _village_. Not a simple settlement, not a concrete hatch of Dharma station, a real town with houses and recreation areas and _mown_ grass…

"Wow."


	9. Welcome to the Neighbourhood

Quick Note

Wow, I didn't realise this chapter would have so much fluff! Or rather the second half does. Hope you like it! It turned out much longer than I expected - hell, I didn't even plan for anything in this chapter to happen! My fingers kinda took over, without my brain overseeing what they were doing! Is that bad?

Hmm… no one reviewed the last chapter. Does that mean you didn't like it? Warning… if I don't have anyone reviewing, I might stop… lol, just kidding. I couldn't stop if I wanted to - and I'm perfectly willing to write a story for two or three people. So long as somebody's enjoying it, I'm happy. Though you might like this one… I won't spoil the surprise.

* * *

**Chapter 9**

Kate completed her fourth circuit of the house for the morning, and sat back down on the lounge. She and Jack were sharing a house, though Jack was allowed to leave, and move around the village. Kate wasn't. Being indoors had never really felt good to her, and being _unable_ to leave made her feel slightly sick. Reminded her too much of… she shook the thought away.

The house was simple, and about the size of a single apartment. At one end, there was a kitchen, adjoining to a dining room. At the other end were two bedrooms, Jack and Kate each taking one. A short way down the hallway was a bathroom, with shower. Kate acknowledged there was at least one advantage to living here. In the middle of the house was a large lounge room, with a CD player, bookshelf, several comfortable chairs, a piano, and a security camera.

Kate was very tempted to give the camera the finger, but restrained herself. She wondered whether someone was monitoring it all the time, or only infrequently. On her second lap of the house, she had searched the bathroom and bedrooms for any more cameras or microphones, but hadn't found any.

Yesterday, they hadn't had much time left before nightfall, so both went to bed. When they woke up, Ben had wanted to see Jack about certain conditions in place while they were living here, leaving Kate alone in the house. And ever since, she'd been bored out of her mind. She'd inspected every inch of the house, memorising the floor plan, and checking out the contents of the fridge.

Electric lighting had been something else she'd missed, she realised. And a refrigerator! With foods she hadn't seen in months. She had eaten a bowl of cereal, but then decided she wasn't really hungry, and hadn't tried anything else.

There was a knock on the front door. Kate looked up hopefully, though she felt sure Jack would have just come in. He was living here, too, after all. She cautiously came forward, took a breath, and opened the door.

It was Juliet. The two women stared at each other. Other than a mutual dislike, caused by them both having feelings for the same man, they had nothing in common. There was a pause, as they appraised each other.

"Can I come in?" Juliet asked. Kate nodded, stepping back. It wasn't like it was her house. If anyone wanted to come in, they would. Juliet led the way to the kitchen, putting down a box on the counter. Kate looked at it curiously.

"I made you something," said Juliet. "You and Jack. A sort of… welcome to the neighbourhood." Kate smiled, though was slightly confused. She hadn't expected Juliet, of all people, to start being _nice_ to her. She opened the box, and found a dozen home made blueberry muffins.

"Thanks," she said. Juliet smiled.

"I know Jack likes them. I made some for him, before he did the surgery." Kate looked at her, trying to gauge her angle. It was as though she was rubbing it in Kate's face that Jack was one of them now, and that she, Juliet, thought she had a chance with him.

"While you were trying to befriend him," Kate said, her voice.

"Well, that's how it started out," Juliet admitted. "But then, I realised what a great guy he is. He's smart, loyal, and determined. I think from then I actually tried to be a real friend to him."

"Uh-huh…" Kate said quietly, not sure what was going on now.

"Though, I'm thinking you probably know him better than I do." Kate shrugged.

"Not really. I don't know much about his past, and he… he doesn't know much about mine, either." Juliet saw the hesitation when Kate mentioned her previous fugitive status, and changed the topic.

"What do you think?" Juliet asked, waving her hand absently at the house around her. Kate paused, unable to voice what she really felt about the house - it was, theoretically, perfect, but she still felt like a prisoner.

"It's… it's got a lot that we haven't had in a while. Electricity, running water…" Juliet nodded, and Kate took the chance to ask a few questions of her own. "So, you have spare houses here, ready with food, waiting to be filled?"

"Actually, when Jack agreed to stay, we called ahead. Had them prepare one of the empty houses for you two. This place used to belong to the Dharma people… but that was a long time ago. There aren't as many of us as there were of them."

"What happened to them?" Kate asked.

"I wasn't here back then," Juliet said, clearly dodging the question, but Kate decided not to pursue it. "I only came a couple of years ago, to help Ben solve the pregnancy problem."

"Problem?" Kate asked, confused.

"Over the past few years, all the pregnant women have been dying. I'm a fertility doctor, and I was doing some research into what was causing the problem."

Kate felt a shiver run down her spine. Jack hadn't mentioned this. She begged again that she wasn't pregnant, this time for a different reason.

"And did you? Work out what was going wrong?" she asked.

"I think it happens at conception. If that's true… there's nothing I can do."

"Right. Does Jack know all this?" Kate asked, wondering why, if he did, he hadn't told her. Surely she had a right to know!

"Yes." Kate sighed, and Juliet looked up, but Kate looked away before she could say anything. The last thing she wanted was to discuss that with Juliet. The silence lengthened.

"We're not going to hurt you, Kate," Juliet said eventually. Kate glared at her.

"I think you already have," she said. Juliet lowered her eyes, and the room was filled with silence again.

"I guess we didn't really get off on the right foot," Juliet said. Kate laughed bitterly.

"Yeah; kidnapping us, locking us in cages, killing Sawyer… wasn't really the best move to make if you wanted to be friends."

"I'm making an effort here, Kate," Juliet said reproachfully. "I'm trying to make up for what happened." Kate looked at her curiously.

"Why? Why do you care?"

"Because I'm human. Because I can see someone in pain, and I want to help. Ben knows it, too, that what we did wasn't the right choice."

"Right," Kate replied, actually believing Juliet was telling the truth.

"I'd better go," Juliet said, heading towards the door. Kate nodded.

"Thanks," she called, though she wasn't sure whether she was thanking her for the muffins, or the truth.

* * *

Jack was heading back to the house, feeling slightly out of place walking through the Others' village. The people around him tried to be unobtrusive, but he could catch glimpses of them staring at him. It felt strange, sharing a house with Kate. It made him compare it to his marriage with Sarah. Of course… there was nothing going on between him and Kate. _Yet_, a little voice whispered, but he ignored it. she was still upset and scared about everything that was happening to her, and he wasn't going to take advantage of her.

He saw Juliet leaving just as he arrived. She saw him, and stopped.

"Hey," he said.

"Hi," she said. "I left you a present." He lifted one eyebrow.

"What?" he asked.

"Wait and see," she said. "I was talking to Kate. She seemed okay." Jack nodded. With all the trust he had placed in Juliet, it hadn't occurred to him that there would be any dislike between the two women, and it didn't now. "See you later," she said, walking in the direction of her own house.

"See you," Jack called after her. He opened the front door of his own place, and was surprised to hear a piano. He closed the door quietly, and walked forward slowly. He stopped in the doorway, watching Kate play. She wasn't making a real tune, just hitting a few notes, letting the sounds come out.

Hr a few moments he watched, holding his breath. Then he crept up behind her, moved to one side, and started playing, a similar tune-less melody, an octave higher. She spun, caught completely by surprise, and he smiled at her. Slowly, she regained her composure, and put her fingers back to the keys. He saw her concentrating hard, trying to memorise which notes came from where.

"You ever play before?" he asked, as he sat down on the stool beside her.

"No. You?"

"Yeah. My dad taught me. It was one of the only things we ever did together, apart from surgeries."

Kate stopped playing, and Jack moved closer, playing around middle C. She wanted to stand up, give him space, but at the same time, she was overjoyed that they could be so close together, their elbows almost touching, without any negative feelings.

The notes changed, a definite song coming out now.

"What is it?" Kate asked.

"'High'," said Jack. "Personal favourite. Works better with strings, though."

"Charlie would be thrilled," she said, and for a moment, his fingers faltered.

"Do you think they're okay?" he asked. Kate shook her head.

"I don't know. Does it matter?"

Jack knew she was right - whatever was happening back at their beach, there was nothing they could do to help. They had to look after themselves.

"Sayid and Locke will look after them," he said. Kate didn't reply, just let the soft bars of the song wash over her.

For now, everything was so peaceful. Jack slowly changed songs, and Kate began to hum along with it softly, trying to guess what he was playing.

"Dire Straights?" she asked.

"Romeo and Juliet," he agreed. "Also works well with strings. Oh, I saw Juliet outside," he added.

"She brought us muffins," Kate said.

"_You can fall for chains of silver…_" Kate sang softly. It had been one of her mother's favourite songs.

"_You can fall for chains of gold…_" Jack supplied, slowing the music to match their voices. Neither of them sang the next line, though it ran through both their minds at the same time.

_You can fall for pretty strangers, and the promises they hold_…

The music stopped, as they both turned their heads simultaneously, about to say something, but finding their faces so close… their noses brushed past each other, and they both lent forward. At first their lips just touched, then Jack's tongue swept out, pushing into her mouth, and she felt her body catch on fire, a thousand nerve ends tingling with anticipation. She responded and he felt his self control failing.

He reached up both hands, cupped her face, and slowly pulled away. She looked at him, vulnerable, desperate, and determined, all in one. He could feel a pain in his chest, as though someone had twisted his lungs around his heart.

"I don't want…" he managed to say. She looked at him, dread coursing through her, and he saw the pain flit across her face.

"You don't want to?" she asked.

"I don't want to hurt you," he corrected himself. Tears were swimming in her eyes.

"You're hurting me by staying away!" she said, her voice breaking.

And so he leaned forward again, knowing that he couldn't stop if he wanted to, that being so close to her was like a drug, that no matter how much he took, it only made him want more. She gave in, letting herself trust him, just for a moment, long enough to realise that whatever happened, she couldn't leave him.

Once more, they pulled away, each momentarily satisfied, Kate taking deep breaths, trying to refill her lungs. Jack looked into her eyes, and the emotion held within them was so overpowering, he had to turn away.

"I feel like a muffin," he said, standing up. Kate's gaze fell. "Coming?"

"No, you go. I'll stay here," she said. There were no words to describe what they had just felt, in those few perfect seconds, and neither wanted to destroy the mood.

He turned, walking into the kitchen, his legs barely able to support his weight, and behind him, Kate's simple song started up again.


	10. Sleepwalker

Quick Note

Pretty soon, I start adding things that never turned up in the show (extra character backgrounds, mainly), so don't read it and think, now where'd that come from? BTW, for when they finally come back in, everything that happens to the main group of Losties in Season 3 HAS happened, eg, Eko dying, Hurley finding a car, making a ping pong table… except Sawyer and Kate weren't there.

**helen-antithesis: **Wow, thanks! This is my first fic, so I've had three seasons to get to know the characters pretty well. I try and put their voices in my head as they talk on the page, to try and hear how's they'd say things.

**NYR88:** glad you like fluff, but really, did you think it would last?

**Hellmouth20:** Aw shucks. Somehow I knew you'd all love that bit… I don't care if the review is long, keep em coming, mate!

**EnderVictorious:** Oh, okay, cool :-). But feedback is nice, and it means I can more accurately give you what you want.

* * *

Chapter Ten

Juliet felt a chill spread through her body, watching Jack and Kate on the monitor. She felt her own body respond to the sight, and a surge of jealousy ran through her. When Jack got up, and suggested a muffin, a dangerous darkness began to creep through her. It felt like he knew she was there, and was rubbing it in her face.

She _knew _Jack would have turned to her, if Kate wasn't there. He had started to, when she was first getting to know him, but as soon as he saw Kate, he was by _her_ side… Juliet paused. If Kate wasn't there, would Jack come back to her?

She turned away from the monitor. But Ben wanted Kate alive, not only to keep Jack complacent, but in case she was pregnant. She couldn't physically move Kate, but perhaps she could destroy her emotionally… ruin all her new found trust in Jack. If Kate felt Jack had betrayed her, she was likely to turn away from him. And when he saw she wasn't interested… Juliet smiled.

* * *

After lunch, Jack had to go out again. He wouldn't say where, and Kate didn't press him. Once more, she was bored. She strolled past the bookshelf, pulling a book out at random, though she wasn't a very avid reader. She almost dropped the paperback in shock. She was holding a copy of _Watership Down_, the book Sawyer had read so long ago. She pushed it back between two hard covers, her fingers trembling.

It scared her, that something so innocent as choosing a book could remind her of Sawyer in such a strong way. She thought about her kiss - two kisses, in fact - with Jack, and felt her stomach clench. How could she be kissing him, when she'd slept with Sawyer less than a week ago? It felt abominably disrespectful.

She didn't go near the CDs either, worried that something in there might trigger a flashback of Sawyer. She went back to the bedroom she had claimed as her own, and flopped down on the bed. It was so soft, she had thought when she first tested it. A real mattress, sheets, a pillow… now, as she felt the springs bend under her weight, she was worried it might be too much.

Taking anything from these people felt humiliating, but there was nothing she could do. She watched light shadows flit across the ceiling, and wondered what had become of her life. She was a prisoner, trapped inside this house. They'd made it seem like a miniature paradise for her, but it was just an elaborately decorated prison. It was enough to send her mad.

And this was only day one.

* * *

Night fell over the village, and Jack still hadn't come back. Kate considered cooking something for dinner, but had never been any good with meals, and decided not to. She checked out the cupboard in her room. It contained a variety of skimpy tops, some jeans, and a few dresses. She chose one of the more practical shirts and headed for the shower.

She spent a while under the hot water, the pressure beating down on her. She sighed with pleasure. She made sure to lock the bathroom door, in case Jack came back while she was still in here.

He didn't. She dried off, and changed into the fresh shirt and jeans, and lay back down on the bed. She wondered if Jack was okay. She could hear vague noises outside, but the walls were pretty solid.

She wondered briefly why she wasn't hungry. She didn't feel unwell, just that she didn't need to eat. She assumed it was just an effect of eating so little lately - her stomach had shrunk.

Her thoughts drifted freely, not really holding onto any subject, just letting the faces of the past ripple past her. All her friends back at the beach… Sawyer and Jack… Tom and Kevin… her mother, and the two men she could call father - one who acted like it, and the other who was a part of her.

Sometime later, she fell asleep, her thoughts still filled with her past and the people in it.

* * *

Jack woke up, feeling something was wrong. He had come back to the house several hours after night fell. He'd been researching the medical properties of different herbs Juliet had found growing on the island - the statistics were staggering, and he'd been fully absorbed in what he was doing. Thoughts of Kate, and the kiss they had shared, were driven from his mind. She'd already been asleep when he came back, and he'd been careful not to wake her.

Now, he sat up in the soft bed, trying to see what was happening. The house was dark, but he could see something at the end of his bed…

He slowly reached out an arm, and flipped on the lamp situated next to the bed. Kate was standing in the doorway, her body stiff, her eyes wide.

"Kate? What's… Kate, hello?" Jack stared at her. She was looking straight through him.

"They're going to kill him!" she cried suddenly, and Jack jumped out of bed, coming towards her slowly. "You have to stop them, they're going to kill Sawyer!" she said, her voice catching, and still she didn't move.

Jack caught on quickly from there.

"Kate, wake up, it's alright. Look at me, Kate!" And slowly, her head turned to look at him, but her eyes were blank, and unseeing. He doubted she would remember this when she woke up.

"Jack?" she whispered. Something he said must have reached her, as he stretched out a hand. He caught hold of her arm, ready to jump back if it looked like she was going to hit him again.

"Calm down, Kate," he said, and for a moment, everything was still. Then, she pulled her arm away so fast, he almost fell over, and when he regained his balance, she was looking at him with pure terror in her eyes. It was more than fear - it was the expression of someone who had everything to lose.

"No!" she shrieked, and tried to step back, but hit the wall. This seemed to upset her further, and he tried to reach out for her again, but this time she fought back, trying to scratch at his arms and face. "I won't let you… I'll do whatever you want, anything! No! I'll be good, I promise, let me out!"

Jack stepped back, seriously worried now. Then she slowly closed her eyes, and he just managed to catch her before she hit the floor. He turned, and laid her down on his bed, pulling the covers up. Then he turned, knowing he wasn't going to be able to sleep for a while after that little scene. He stopped in the doorway, and looked back at her, now sleeping peacefully.

"Oh, Kate," he sighed. "What did you do?"

* * *

Jack couldn't help but spend the rest of the night walking around the kitchen wondering why this had happened so suddenly. She'd never mentioned sleepwalking before, and she certainly hadn't done it at any time since the crash.

And what had she said? The first part had been about Sawyer, she'd said his name for certain, but after that… that had been something else.

And what was worst, she wouldn't let him in. Every time her tried to make her open up, to talk to him, she cold-shouldered him, and if he pushed too hard, she would break down completely. He knew he hadn't made it easy some of the time, making snappy bites at her fugitive status, telling her he didn't know what she was capable of, yelling at her…

Why couldn't she see he just wanted to help her? That was what he had spent his life doing - what he still did - and seeing her coldness made him want to bring her out of herself. She was lost inside her past, and everything that happened to her buried it deeper and deeper. He found himself comparing it to an injury - an infection caused by something buried under the skin. Left untreated, it becomes harder and harder to remove the object, and the infection spreads, poisoning the blood.

Kate rarely let herself get over anything, Jack realised. She would bury the hurt, keep it away by pretending not to feel it. _Something today must have triggered the nightmare_, he thought. The kiss? Being alone all day? Something else, which she hadn't been able to tell him about because he'd come home so late?

And now… when she couldn't stop herself, it was brought back up. He felt that if she would open up, actually talk to him, he might be able to help. But after refusing her first offer, she wouldn't tell him why she was on the run… and he thought it safe to presume the hurt started there.

He glanced at the clock; 4:50. It was a habit he was falling back into, structuring his life around what time it was. On the beach, depending on firelight at night, it didn't really matter what the time was. It was either light enough to do something, or dark enough to go to sleep.

Sighing, he knew he wasn't going back to sleep any time soon. He inspected the coffee jar, acknowledging the benefits the Others had over his people. Though, he wondered, could he still call them 'his people'? It wasn't like he really ever told them what to do, and he'd been gone so long… nearly two weeks. And now he was working for the Others. Did that make him one of them?

He made himself a cup of coffee, as strong as he thought he could stand it. He sighed at the slightly bitter taste, and felt warmer, both inside and out. He'd talk to Kate in the morning, he decided. And if he thought he could get both him and Kate out of here safely… would he do it? _Of course_! was his first thought, then he remembered the deal he'd made with Ben. They'd let Kate go if he stayed. He had agreed to stay… he didn't want to break a deal, but then again, he had been blackmailed into it.

Jack's mind began to spin, stewing over everything that had happened, everything he wanted to change…


	11. Liars

Quick Note

Okay, we all knew the fluff would die. Don't hate me!

* * *

Chapter Eleven

Kate woke up peacefully, and it took her a long time to realise she wasn't in the same place she had fallen asleep in. Only mildly worried, but very confused, she sat up. She was in Jack's bed. The sheer double entendre of that statement made her glance around anxiously, but he was nowhere in sight.

Jumping out of the bed rather hastily, she rearranged the sheets, and headed for the kitchen, expecting to find Jack there. She wasn't disappointed.

"Hey," she said quietly, brushing some hair out of her eyes. He looked up from a mug of coffee, and smiled.

"Sleep well?" he asked. She blushed.

"What happened?" she asked, a little nervously.

"Woke up, found you standing in the doorway. You were sleepwalking," he said. She frowned.

"I've never done that before."

"First time for everything," he said, half laughing at the confused expression she was wearing. Then his face grew serious. "You don't remember any nightmares?" She glanced at him, sharply enough for him to know she did.

"Who said I was having a nightmare?" she asked. Jack chucked.

"That's exactly what Claire said. Women don't like men thinking they have nightmares, do they?" Kate frowned at him. He looked down for a moment, then back up. "The bit where you nearly started screaming gave me a clue."

She blinked, and for a moment they just looked at each other, recognising the awkwardness of the situation. He cleared his throat. "Anyway, you sort of… fainted in the doorway. I put you in my bed; couldn't be bothered carrying you all the way back to yours."

"Oh," she said at last, absorbing what he had said, moving slowly towards the coffee pot. "I'm sorry."

"It's okay," he reassured her quietly. She put the back of her hand gently against the side of the coffee pot, frowning. It was cold.

"How long ago did you make this?" she asked.

"Not too long," he answered, looking over at her.

"'Not too long'? It's freezing! It must have been hours ago!" she exclaimed, looking concerned. She glanced at the clock, also falling into a habit of building her life around time again. It was nearly seven.

"Um, yeah, I couldn't sleep," he answered weakly.

"Was it me?" she asked, looking slightly hurt, but obviously trying to hide it. He shook his head, and smiled.

"No," he reassured her, with very obvious sincerity. "I could always have gone into your room. It wasn't that, I just… needed to think about something." She nodded, clearly relieved.

He watched her make herself a cup of coffee, and decided against another for himself. He'd had at least four in the last two hours. There might have been a fifth, he couldn't really remember. There was a stab of something in his chest; guilt, he figured. After all the times he had accused her of lying, he did it to her so effortlessly. Not so much directly - though that happened enough - but mostly by omission. _To protect her_, he rationalised, but couldn't help a list running through his head. _I didn't tell her about the dying pregnant women, or why I really stayed behind, I didn't tell her when we had Henry _(_Ben_, he corrected himself)_ locked in the hatch, I didn't tell her I was sorry about what happened when she followed us after Michael, I've never told her how I feel…_

A small sample of things that have happened, he noted. _How much _have_ I kept from her?_ he thought. _Too much_.

He swallowed, as she started drinking a cup, much weaker than his. He remembered telling himself he would talk to her this morning, and wondered how to bring it up. As it turned out, he didn't need to - she spoke first.

"I've got too much time here," she commented vaguely, not really talking to him - rather, just letting her thoughts out of her mouth. "Too much to think about," she added, and they both knew what she was referring to.

"You want to talk about it?" he asked cautiously. She glanced at him, her gaze steady.

"Why would I?" she asked, a barely detectable coolness seeping into her words. Jack braced himself.

"It could help," he said. This time, she definitely glared at him.

"I don't want help," she muttered, turning away.

"You're hurting yourself, keeping it locked inside," he said. Kate gave a rather maniacal laugh.

"You think after one kiss you're in my head? I don't need your help!"

"After what you said last night, I think you do," Jack said bravely, jumping into a field full of minefields. Kate gaped at him, a mixture of horror and astonishment clouding her beautiful features.

"What did I say?" she asked. He looked down.

"Well, nothing really… you were mumbling a bit…"

"What did I say?" she repeated, her tone frigid. Jack sneaked a peek at her composure. She was totally prepared to fight, ready to protect the secrets she had buried so deep, to keep them in the dark. Jack knew that this time, nothing could save him but the truth. He braced himself, unsure what kind of reaction he would get.

"You were… at the beginning, you were yelling about Sawyer. And then… you said… you were pleading with someone to let you out."

Her eyes widened as he finished, and he wanted to reach forward and tell her it would be alright, that she could trust him, but the fire in her eyes stopped him. She wore an expression he hadn't really seen before, not to this degree. She looked deadly. She looked like she wanted to kill.

Without a word, she turned and stormed down the hall, slamming the door on entering her room, so that she could cry where he wouldn't see her, wouldn't try and _help_.

Jack waited a little while, finishing his coffee, not even noticing that, as Kate had pointed out, it was long cold. Then he headed out, to find Juliet.

* * *

Kate didn't move around the house as she had yesterday. She already knew everything there was to know about it. Once more, she searched her room for cameras, a paranoid nervousness creeping into her. Somehow, Jack had pulled all the painful thoughts to the surface, and it was all she could do not to think about them.

She stayed in the same room all morning, lying on the bed for the most part. There was no clock in here, and she was grateful. She wasn't sure she could stand waiting and watching the seconds tick by. This way, she could trick herself into believing any amount of time had passed; an hour, six, twenty. Once again, she wasn't hungry, though all she'd had was a cup of coffee. She felt sick, actually. She tried not to consider Ben's theory that she could be pregnant. She wouldn't let herself believe it. She ignored the fact that she was several days late already.

With all the things she was concentrating on not thinking on, Kate's mind was shockingly empty. And there was only one subject she could think about and not feel hurt - Jack. Well, technically, just the thought of talking to him again, even _trying_ to explain what had happened in her life, was more painful than any physical injury; but she transformed it into anger, telling herself he was interfering and not at all understanding.

Unfortunately, the more she kept away the pain by hating Jack, the stronger it grew. And it was then she heard the front door close. She held her breath, listening. She heard his footsteps go down the hallway, and the sounds of him making lunch. She rolled onto her stomach, and tried to ignore him. After a few minutes there was a knock at the door.

"What?" she called, her voice muffled by the pillow pressed into her face.

"Can I come in?" Jack called. Kate considered.

"No!" she yelled back. She heard him sigh.

"I just want to talk. To apologise," he said.

"So talk," she said. There was a pause.

"Kate, please." She waited, then rolled over onto her back, sitting up. Somehow, the thought of seeing him made the anger seep away. She tried to hold onto it, but it was like holding water in one hand, with her fingers splayed.

"Door's open," she said eventually. _Not that I can lock it_, she thought bitterly.

"Does that mean I can come in?" Jack asked. Kate grimaced. Sawyer would have known the answer was yes. But she highly doubted she would be having this conversation with Sawyer. He would have come in after knocking. Hell, only at his most gentlemanly would he have knocked.

"If you want," Kate replied. As the door opened, the mask fell across her face, hiding all emotion. Jack stepped in, holding a plate.

"I brought you some lunch. And don't lie to me, I know you haven't eaten," he added, as she opened her mouth. She closed it again, angry that he could catch her out before she'd even said anything.

"What do you want?" she asked.

"I want to help you," he replied.

"I've heard that one. Anything else? Or does your doctor sense just go crazy whenever someone's hurting?"

"I want you to want me to help you," he said. She scowled.

"We've been through that, too. I don't want your help."

"Why not?" he asked.

"Because a long time ago, I learnt that I couldn't trust anyone, even the people I lo- care about," she answered sharply, only just avoiding a severe mistake. Implying that she loved him would certainly not help the situation.

"You know what I think, Kate?" he asked, but before he could go on with the rhetorical question, she answered.

"No, Jack, I don't. And I don't want to. Because I'll have you know I'm getting sick of your theories about what makes me tick." Jack paused, feeling once again that they'd end up fighting if he kept going, but knowing it had to be said. He put the plate down on the dresser beside him.

"I think you find it hard to trust because you've been hurt. And instead of facing that hurt and grieving for it, you bury it so deep, it eats at you from the inside. And the longer you leave it, the bigger it will grow." Kate sneered, an expression he hadn't believed her capable of, let alone seen her use.

"You don't know shit about my life, Jack. And yeah, maybe I don't face up to the hurt, because it's so big to start with, it may damn near kill me if I try."

"See, if you would talk to me, I would know 'shit about your life'," he said complacently. "Don't blame me for your mistakes." She stared at him, stunned by his bluntness, and felt a twinge of respect growing for him.

"You want to know something about my life? The entire time I was on the run, the only thing I didn't end up regretting was what started it all. That, I'm damn proud of."

"What?" he asked, and both knew what he was referring to. Kate looked down.

"I killed a man," she said quietly. Jack sighed.

"I figured that much out." Kate looked up again.

"He deserved it," she said, and once again, he saw that dangerous fire in her eyes, and for the first time since he had met her, he acknowledged that he was looking into the face of a murderer - not only that, one who was proud of the life she had taken.

"Don't you have somewhere you need to be?" she asked icily, her expression once again cold and flat. He sighed, and left the room, closing the door on his way out.


	12. The Truth

Quick note

Okay, they're not going to be fighting in this chapter, and I don't know how well I did it… most of it is Kate talking (I couldn't believe how long it got!), and I've used a little artistic license. And for all of you who are worried, answers to the pregnancy question in…. two chapters. I think.

* * *

Chapter 12

Jack stayed out late again that night, and Kate felt that she was the reason. Somehow, ever since Jack had brought it up, she realised she did want to talk about it. She needed to tell someone, to hear them tell her it was alright, that she'd been good… for once in her life. But at the same time, she knew that Jack couldn't be that person. He'd led a good life, loved his family, mourned his father's death… he just wouldn't be capable of understanding.

However, she didn't go to sleep. She'd eaten the food he left for her, and then washed the plate, mainly for something to do. She's also eaten dinner, her appetite coming back with a vengeance.

The very fact that she was trapped within this house was enough to send her mad, either from the stir crazy aspect, or the horrible memories it was dredging up. With everything the Others knew about her past, she wondered whether they knew what he had done to her, and if this parody had been orchestrated on purpose.

She put Wayne out of her mind, wondering instead whether if Jack asked her again, she would tell him. It would mean facing everything that had ever happened to her, everything that she had done. She would have to look at what had happened, review it in detail so that Jack could understand.

She instantly felt revolted with herself. _Tell Jack?!_ she yelled at herself. Why - so he could hate her more? She knew he was always making excuses for her, trying to guess what she had done, then telling himself she had a valid reason. But once he heard this… would he even be able to bear looking at her?

* * *

Jack watched as Juliet inserted a miniscule syringe into the rat's quivering belly, then pulled the plunger out very slowly. After extracting a small amount of blood, she withdrew the needle, and held a cotton ball over the spot on the rat's belly. She nodded at Jack, who released his hold on the back of the rat's neck, and the small rodent flipped itself over, looking bewildered.

"C'mon sweetie," Juliet murmured, gently picking the animal up, and placing it inside a large tank with several of its white furred brethren. The rat froze for a moment, then jumped towards a plastic house, sheltering inside. Meanwhile, Juliet looked at the droplets of blood for a moment, before squeezing them back out into a plastic container, and screwing a lid on.

"Is it enough?" Jack asked. Juliet sighed.

"We'll see," she replied. "Can't get much blood out of them, but they're having no trouble breeding. I want to test for several things, and unfortunately, each sample can only be used once."

"Why do you think none of the animals on the island are having problems?"

"So far, I haven't got a clue. My only theory - and it's very undeveloped - is that the body mass of the animals here is much smaller. Whatever on the island is affecting the women is probably being emitted by something, and it's just passing straight through the smaller organisms." Jack stared at her.

"That's one of the worst theories I've ever heard," he said bluntly. She gave a wry smile.

"I know. Hopefully, once I check the rat blood, I'll be able to tell if there are any foreign antibodies, maybe something stopping problems from emerging."

Jack nodded, and he and Juliet left the small lab where she did all her research.

"It's late," he murmured, so softly she barely caught his words.

"Something go wrong earlier?" Juliet asked. Jack shook his head.

"Not really. More the fact that nothing happened. She's… not talking to me," he said, noting the irony of his words.

"Really? Well, go home and sort it out," Juliet encouraged, though inwardly cheering. She wouldn't even have to do anything to make these two start fighting…

"Yeah. Let's just hope this time goes better," he said, and after a few goodnights with Juliet, he headed towards the little house near the centre of the village.

* * *

He walked into the dining room to find Kate in a chair, he head resting on one arm, her eyes closed. He looked at her, watching her sleep, realising just how many times this happened. And, he realised, this was how he liked her - asleep, peacefully, almost happy. Then he remembered the night before, and knew that she was torturing herself in her sleep even more than when she was awake.

Her eyes flickered open, saw him, and she quickly sat upright.

"Hey," she said quietly, almost shamefully. He smiled, trying to let her know that he wasn't angry, but she lowered her gaze.

"Were you waiting for me?" he asked. She looked up abruptly.

"No!" He raised one eyebrow. "What if I was?"

"You still mad at me, or can I come closer?" he asked, only half joking. She grimaced.

"It's okay. I wanted… to say sorry." He waited, and she took a breath. "So… sorry."

There was silence. She tried to read his expression, but his face remained stoic. Then he lifted one side of his mouth, and came closer, sitting down beside her.

"You were right, though," he admitted. "Whenever something happens, I just can't help myself from trying to save everyone around me. And when I see you… hurting… I can't stop. I need to help others, or I'll go mad."

Kate looked away, desperate not for him to see the tears forming in her eyes. She knew she needed to tell him, but she wanted to keep this moment, with him on her side, believing her to be a good person.

"Kate?" he asked, and she licked her lips nervously.

"I know I… I _need_ to tell someone. I feel like I'm going to die if I keep it inside any longer. But Jack…" Her voice broke, and he took her hand, giving it a squeeze. She looked up at him. "I need you to promise me you won't hate me." He frowned.

"Nothing you've ever done could make me hate you," he said.

"It's not what I've done, it's who I am," she said, looking at him expectantly. He rolled his eyes.

"I promise, Kate." She nodded, taking a deep breath. She didn't want to start at the beginning - she needed to pull it all out at once, or she'd be sobbing into his arms before she was even halfway finished.

"When I was little, my mum got a divorce, and married another man. I knew she'd had a thing for him many years before - before I was born - but I hated him for driving my father away, and because of all the other things he started to do. His name was Wayne."

Jack carefully noted her use of past tense when telling him 'Wayne's name, and guessed the ending of the story already.

"He began to beat my mother up on an almost daily basis. I knew what was happening, but I was only six. I didn't want him to hurt me, and my mother never complained. I got used to it.

"When I was eight, I saw that she had a broken finger. I asked what had happened. She told me she'd fallen. And that was when I knew that everyone in my life was lying to me. She cared about him too much to stand up to him. Of course, back then, I didn't rationalise it like that, but I understood that someone had to stop it.

"I told him that if I heard him hurting my mum again, I would call the police. It told him he was a bad man."

Jack was caught up in the story, wondering why, if everything she said was true - and he didn't doubt her for a second - she thought what she had done was so bad. She had already made it clear this was the man she had killed, and listening to her side of the story, he also believed that Wayne had deserved whatever she'd given him.

"When I finally said that, it was a relief. I thought everything would be all better. But he told me, if he was a bad man, the police would already have locked him up. He said that was what happened to bad people; they lock them up. And if they're really bad, they never come out."

Jack felt his heart twist, and he suddenly understood her need to run, to escape, on a whole new scale.

"And then, he locked me in my room. For four days straight. He let me out twice a day to go to the bathroom, but apart from that…" Her voice caught, and Jack was ready to tell her to stop, to say that he understood, but she kept going.

"I had no food, or water. And I could hear him doing whatever he wanted to my mum, hurting her, yelling at her, telling her she was a worthless piece of shit. And she was too scared to come for me. When he finally let me out, I was ready to do whatever he said, to obey him. But sometimes, I'd look at him, enough for him to see how much I hated him, and he'd lock me up again.

"When I was older, it wasn't as bad. I kept a stash of food and water under my bed, so that if he ever did it for that long again… I'd be okay."

Jack was appalled. Nothing he could have imagined would equal this torture, this primeval abuse a young girl had been subjected to. He held his breath, waiting for her to continue.

"I kept telling myself I would leave, as soon as I got my license. But once I was old enough to leave home, I knew that I couldn't leave my mum by herself, with him. And year after year, it continued. He stopped shutting me away; I think he knew I could leave if I wanted to, and that I was old enough to know that the police would put him away if I told them."

"You killed him," Jack said softly. She looked up at him, scared of what he was implying. "it's okay, Kate. After everything he did, I agree that he deserved it." She looked away.

"I'm not at the bad part yet," she said, and he felt a cold tendril of fear sneak down his spine. How could this get any worse? "By this time, I was letting the hatred consume me. I wanted to kill him, but I kept putting it off.

"Meanwhile, I'd only been spending a few days a year with my father. Or at least… the man I called father. Because one day, I found a photo of him, in the army. There was a date on the back… he was in Korea up until five months before I was born."

Jack suddenly guessed what it was that had driven Kate over the edge. He let her words filter through his head, as he reconstructed what had happened, how she must have felt.

"I waited til one night, when my mum was working, and Wayne had gone out to get drunk. I'd been planning it for so long. I turned all the gas taps in the house on, and then waited. He came home, stinking of beer and sweat and vomit… I led him inside, laid him down on the bed, pulled off his shoes, and... then I ran.

"I heard the house blow up behind me, and I felt such a sick satisfaction, it scared me. I told myself I was doing it to save my mum, but obviously she didn't see it that way. She turned me in." Kate gave a bitter laugh. "Yet another example of why not to trust anybody."

"It's not that bad, Kate," Jack tried to reassure her. She gazed at him sorrowfully.

"Isn't it? I killed him, burnt him alive, and didn't look back."

"You said he deserved it. I don't hate you for that," he said. She twitched, and looked away for a moment.

"Yeah… but then I went to see my dad. The other one, the good one. He said the reason he never told me that he wasn't really my father was because he _knew_ I'd kill him. He said I had murder in my heart.

"And he was right. Because I can kill a man and not regret it." She looked up at him. "I don't think you can understand what that feels like. To know that you can kill without looking back. You could have killed Ben; but you didn't. And I know you think he deserved it. there's this evil in me, and I can't get it out."

"Hey," Jack whispered. "It's all right Kate. I don't hate you - I never could."

"Are you saying that because you mean it, or because I told you to?" she asked. Jack shook his head.

"You can't help who you're related to, Kate. It's not your fault."

She breathed out, a rattling sob, and now Jack did hold her, rocking her, whispering nonsense words into her ear. He knew why Kate was scared of him hating her; she hated herself. She hated the coldness, and to save herself from it, she sheltered behind it.

"But there's so much I've done since then, and all I was doing was proving to myself that I was going to turn out like him… that I already had," Kate said, her words clouded by sobs, and all Jack could do was wait it out, and hope that she was wrong. He remembered how she'd claimed that if she tried to tell him, it might kill her - he'd thought she was exaggerating, but hearing the story in whole made him realise that if she'd been suffering before, letting the poison out would either cleanse her, or destroy her.

He prayed to whatever god was listening that she would be okay.

And so ended day two.


	13. Postive Results

Quick Note

I had to rewrite this chapter so many times, I hope you all like the final version. I plan on posting Chapter 14 right now, to make up for the long updating wait. Don't hate me! There is a plan!

As for the second half, I ain't a medical person. I have a few bits of general knowledge, and I did some research, but if I've made some fundamental error with terminology/cause and effects/etc, just ignore it and let the plot flow.

Thanks to everyone who reviewed - you really make me feel better. And to think, I spent half of my chemistry class telling myself this story had too many problems to be any good… I really suffer from self-confidence issues, so if you don't want me to pack it in from sheer depression, keep them coming!

* * *

Chapter 13

Kate and Jack both slept in his bed that night, after she admitted she was scared of having more nightmares. For the first time in her life, she felt that she could trust someone, and that night, he held her close, and whenever she started to toss and turn, he would whisper in her ear, and they would both go back to sleep.

The next morning, however, she woke up alone. For a while, however, she stayed in bed, feeling a peacefulness take over. She didn't want to move, because that would mean acknowledging that Jack was no longer with her, and that once again she was alone.

She felt embarrassed that she had had to be with him all night to keep the nightmares away, but grateful that he had been willing. She lay still, vague images flitting through her mind; the underside of her childhood bed, as she tried to pull a bottle of water out; her dad's voice whispering that she was a murderer; her mother telling her that what she had done, she'd done for herself.

Eventually, she sighed and rolled over, the peaceful feeling evaporating. The sheets were cool against her, and she threw them off, climbing to her feet. Quietly, she went looking for Jack. He wasn't in the house, so she assumed he was out helping the Others, with whatever it was they were doing. She didn't particularly care anymore.

She ate breakfast, wishing she could talk to him about last night, yet thankful he wasn't here, because in reality she had no idea what she wanted to say. Whenever she was around him, he made her feel like she had something to apologise for.

She sighed, looking around the house. It felt like an eternity she'd spent in here, this tiny house, though she knew it was only day three. Three days of Jack's company, and she'd already started to tell him her life story. She wondered if he'd left before she woke up on purpose, whether he had, after having time to think it over, realised that if he stayed near her, he'd only end up hurting them both.

She spent the next hour lying on her bed, uncomfortably aware that she hadn't sleep in it for two nights now. She gave a wry smile. Equal time out and in. Well, she'd have to watch that.

Then there was a knock on the door. Kate looked up, interested - anything to even out the monotony of her day. Once again, it was Juliet.

"Hey," said Kate, and Juliet smiled. "You want to come in?" she asked, before Juliet could. The other woman nodded, and they went down to the kitchen.

"How are you?" Juliet asked. Kate shrugged. Juliet looked down, as if this was funny. There was an awkward silence, as Juliet tried to come up with the right words for what she needed to convey.

"Okay, I won't beat around the bush," she said eventually. "Ben wants you to take a pregnancy test."

Kate glanced up sharply, then nodded. She thought that going through another day of not knowing might send her crazy. Juliet felt a little taken aback, however; she hadn't expected Kate to agree so easily. Kate saw her expression, and gave a weak smile.

"I need to know. I don't want to have to wait any longer," she said. Juliet nodded, pulled a packet out of her pocket, and gave it to Kate.

"Need help?" she asked. Kate shook her head, and headed for the bathroom.

* * *

Ben's recovering was going remarkably well. Jack was getting his first real glimpse into the islands healing powers - after only a week, the stitches looked nearly ready to come out, there was no infection in the wound, and Ben could now walk short distances. Most of the time, like now, he was in a wheelchair. He was in a very good mood.

Jack, however, was not in a good mood. Ben wanted to know if any of the other women in Jack's camp were pregnant. He seemed to think they would benefit from proper medical attention.

"Is that what you gave Claire?" he asked sarcastically. "She comes out of the jungle, terrified and with no memory, and you're telling me you were only trying to _help_ her."

"Yes, Jack, that is what happened. We were trying to help - it was you who said, after all, that if Claire went into labour early, it would not be good." Jack opened his mouth, then shut it again. He had said that - he'd been talking to Kate and Charlie on the beach. It was very possible Ethan, who had been listening to a lot of Jack's medical concerns regarding Claire, had been nearby.

"So you… want to go into our camp, and kidnap all the pregnant women. For their benefit, of course," Jack added, his tone implying otherwise. Ben nodded. Jack snorted. "Like hell."

Ben sighed and looked ready to argue, when Juliet walked in. Catching the angry looks Jack was casting, she quickly announced her presence. Ben glanced at her, Jack kept his back to her, as they waited for her to give them the results of the pregnancy test.

"It's positive," she said eventually, reluctantly. Ben smiled, and Jack squeezed his eyes shut in an effort to block out the words she had already uttered.

"Is she okay?" he asked.

"I think so," Juliet replied. "Maybe a little shell shocked." Jack sighed, and began to stand up.

"I'm going to her," he said, making it clear that he wasn't asking permission.

"No, Jack," Ben said. "Juliet needs your help in the lab." Jack glanced at Juliet, who looked down. He could see she didn't like Ben stating what she needed, but he knew that it was true. The sooner Juliet could find out what was going wrong in the pregnancies, the better off Kate would be.

* * *

Juliet watched as a few white blood cells chased each other under the microscope. Jack leaned over, anxious for a result. If they didn't find something soon, Kate would probably end up dead. The sample came from one of the pregnant women who had died earlier in the year, and Juliet had been storing it carefully ever since. Suddenly, after hours of looking for something hidden in the blood, she frowned.

"What…" she began, and adjusted the microscope, zooming in further. In the blood, amongst the numerous white cells - known as the defenders of the body, the ones who protected it from diseases and foreign bodies - was a small blue oval.

Juliet zoomed in again, and for a moment, just watched the out of place cell. Then she noticed that at every moment in time, there were at least five white blood cells orbiting around the blue thing. Most of the time, it was obscured from view, and only with incredible patience did Juliet wait for it to re-emerge.

* * *

"Auto-immune?" Jack asked, and Juliet shook her head.

"I spent weeks on that theory, ages ago - and I found nothing. This is something new, but I think it's working in a similar way."

"Can you fix it?" Ben asked. After her discovery, she and Jack had immediately gone to Ben, who had quickly grasped what they were talking about.

"Probably. In a few weeks, if I can find some more of the blueys. They're hidden very well - but now that I know what I'm looking for, it'll be much easier."

"What are they doing, to cause the problem?" Ben asked. Jack answered.

"It's similar to an auto-immune disease, where a foreign anti-body turns the white blood cells against the body. The difference is, however, it comes on quickly, building an army then attacking without warning."

"With symptomatic warning, I could have saved any one of the women," Juliet whispered sadly. "But the blue cells are making it impossible to detect symptoms of illness - the women all appeared incredibly healthy, until one day they would just collapse, and die. The blue cells are encouraging the growth and production of white blood cells, so that when they finally turn on the body, the effects are immediate and devastating."

"Do you know why it's attacking pregnant women?" Ben asked, frowning.

"Your magnificent island's healing properties," Juliet said harshly, and Ben only just stopped himself from flinching. Jack looked at her, surprised. There hadn't been time for her to explain her new theory in much detail before they went to talk to Ben, and this idea definitely hadn't come up. Juliet continued.

"The island is emitting a lot of electromagnetic radiation - we already knew that, and assumed it was the cause for the brief healing time. Now I know why; the radiation is mutating a small - incredibly small - percentage of the body's white blood cells. If you picture the white cell population as an army, the mutated blue cells could be considered generals, or leaders - they help the white cells regroup and aim them at a particular target.

"For any injury, this is brilliant - the chance of infection or illness is only a fraction what it was before. However, for some reason, the body is treating the foetus as an invading enemy."

"Why?" Ben asked. Juliet shrugged.

"I'm working on it." Ben nodded, looking thoughtful.

"You think the problem is solved, then?" he asked carefully. Juliet looked at him, and the hairs on the back of her neck rose.

"Not yet," she said. "It'll take some time, but I'm finally getting somewhere." Ben narrowed his eyes, and Juliet met his gaze levelly. Jack could feel an undercurrent of emotion running between them, but couldn't work out what it was; however he, too, felt an uncomfortable nudge on his gut, telling him something wasn't quite right.

"You'd better get started, then. Tomorrow morning, it's late now."

Juliet nodded, and she and Jack left. As they entered the dusky light, Juliet turned to him.

"Jack… when you talk to Kate… I need you to trust me, okay?" she said. He looked at her, confused, but he nodded. Of course he trust her.


	14. Nota Bene

Quick Note

Mua-ha! I've just figured out how to make this story go where I want it to… which I've spent the last week debating with myself. So, don't fret - there is a plot here, if you look past all the crummy writing and stuff…

Okay, I'm nice, so I'm posting 13 and 14 together, so that I don't leave you hanging. Well, actually…

Enjoy!

* * *

Chapter Fourteen - nota bene

Kate looked up as the front door closed. She was relieved Jack was home, because she needed to have a very important conversation with him - and she couldn't say a word. He came into the dining room, saw her, and sat down. Before he could open his mouth, she passed him a slip of paper. Confused, he looked down.

_Don't say anything out loud about what I'm about to tell you. The mike can hear us in here._

He looked up.

"And how was your day?" she asked pointedly. He finally caught on.

"Good. Juliet made significant progress with her research," he said, still choosing not to tell Kate about what exactly Juliet was researching - unaware that she already knew. Kate noted his choice of words, and how he pointedly didn't tell her what Juliet and he were doing. She repressed a sigh. He hadn't wanted to tell her that she was likely to die. She would let him slide on that one.

"Want something to drink?" she asked, nodding at the same time.

"Okay," Jack replied on cue, wondering when Kate was going to tell him what was going on. As she got up, she pulled another sheet of paper out of her pocket, and he realised this one had lots of writing on it - both Kate's handwriting, and Juliet's. While she made coffee, surreptitiously making as much noise as possible without it being obvious, Jack read the silent conversation from earlier in the day.

Juliet: _Don't read the result out loud._

Kate: _It's negative._

Juliet: _Good, now when I ask, say it's positive._

Kate:

Juliet:

Juliet: _Okay, good, keep up some small talk, there's a microphone. Ben CANNOT know what I'm doing._

Kate: _So what are you doing?_

Juliet: _If he knows it was negative, he'll kill you._

Kate: _Jack said they made a deal._

Juliet: _He's not planning on keeping it. He'll tell Jack you went home, but he doesn't want to risk your people finding us._

Kate: _So why are you telling me this?_

Juliet: _We're in this together. He and I both know I can no longer get what he promised me in return for my help - he wants me gone._

Kate: _Won't it be obvious I'm not pregnant?_

Juliet: _Not for a while yet. We're going to be gone before then._

Kate:

Juliet: _You, me, and Jack. Within a week, or it'll be too late._

Kate: _Back to our camp?_

Juliet: _Yes. Let Jack know later - be careful._

Kate: _Why should I trust you?_

Juliet: _A lot of people weren't too happy with you and Jack coming here. A few liked the idea of having a doctor again, but they don't trust him any more than you trust us. Very soon, Ben's going to do something stupid - I spend a lot of time with him, I know when he's planning something. He made a mistake, and his way of fixing it is to make it go away._

Kate: _That doesn't explain why I should trust you._

Juliet: _What have you got to lose?_

Kate: _OK._

Jack put down the sheet, and nodded at Kate, as she passed him a mug of coffee. She nodded back, and sat down. There was nothing to say - he now understood Juliet's cryptic message asking him to trust her. Suddenly, she seized the paper, and scribbled something down. He took it.

_Keep up the charade. I'm supposed to be pregnant, remember._

"So… how are you feeling?" Jack asked. For some reason, he wasn't very good at lying on cue - making something up on the spot was easy enough, but forcing a conversation to sound normal was difficult. Kate smirked at his weak question, but her voice was at complete odds with her expression.

"I'm… I guess I'm okay. Not the end of the world, right?"

"Yeah," Jack said, in a rather drifty voice. He was suddenly struck by the notion that he had never seen Kate's handwriting before. Even at a scrawl, it was neat, something he hadn't expected for some reason. He looked over the note, admiring the plain, readable quality, without the loops and spirals a lot of women adorned their writing with. He liked it.

* * *

The next morning, Jack left feeling tense. Kate had returned to sleeping in her own bed, and he hadn't even touched the issue. Knowing that if Ben found out the truth she was as good as dead had brought out the cold side she usually sheltered behind. However, this time he knew they couldn't talk about it - not while they were being monitored.

Jack felt a sense of unease growing as he went to check on Ben. Somehow, after reading what Juliet and Kate had 'said', he found it hard to be helping Ben. Also, he didn't feel good about leaving Kate alone all day. He also wondered whether he'd be able to keep up the pretence that everything was the same as yesterday, knowing that the slightest slip could quite possibly be deadly, for all three of them.

An hour later, Jack sighed with relief as he went to the lab, looking for Juliet. He'd given Ben some painkillers, and gently cut out the stitches in his back, the whole time determinedly not pushing the scalpel through the man's vulnerable, exposed neck.

Then, the real test had began. Ben had once more questioned him about any pregnant women in his camp - and Jack had maintained his angry refusal to talk about it.

"We'll protect them Jack. Once Juliet has her cure, they'll need us to save their lives. If you don't help us, you're condemning them to die." His mind returning to Ben's betrayal of their deal, Jack finally recognised the sugared quality to everything Ben said - he could make his words sound like the bells of heaven, despite speaking from hell.

"What makes you think there are any?" Jack finally asked.

"You would have said that when I first asked, if it were true," Ben said smugly. "And, well, life goes on, does it not? Your people don't have much to occupy their time…" Jack turned away, thinking again of Sun. He needed Juliet's plan to happen soon, before Sun was placed in even greater danger.

"I'm not going to tell you," Jack had repeated, but the cold calculating look in Bens' eyes made him wonder how far Ben was willing to go to find out.

Seeing Juliet with her eye against the microscope, Jack paused. He knew it wasn't a good idea to interrupt someone in that position - if she was startled, she could lose an eye.

"How's it going?" he asked when she lifted her head away.

"Excellent," she said, turning around and beaming. "I found something else - the blue cells are attacking anything that isn't being produced by the body itself - including sperm cells." Jack nodded, and Juliet continued.

"By administering a drug that decreases the number of white blood cells -" Juliet lifted a small bottle of liquid, with the label D-H-O-P-W-DB-12-S8-9 - "I should be able to weaken the system during the pregnancy so that the mutated cells don't have the strength to break into the zygote as well as defend the body against real diseases."

"What if it just focuses the blue cells against the baby and not against illness?" Jack asked, not ready to believe that the problem had been solved so easily. Juliet smiled wryly.

"Possible. I'll do some more tests, to try and simulate what will happen when I inject it. It'll also help me determine the amount each pregnancy will need. Math solves all," she finished with a smile, one that seemed truly happy. Jack wasn't surprised - she had spent years working on this problem, and was now about to solve it.

"What should I do?" Jack asked. Juliet stood, and gestured at the microscope.

"I'm going to tell Ben, then start those tests - can you watch for a while, see if anything unusual pops up?" He nodded, and took the chair she had just vacated.

"Couple of days, and it'll all be over," she said, with a very significant look, and he nodded seriously. He knew she was no longer referring to the pregnancy problem. He just hoped nothing would go wrong before then.

* * *

Kate looked up at a knock on the door. Wondering whether Juliet had stopped by for another visit, she walked hopefully to answer it. She pulled open the door, had a moment to catalogue that it was not Juliet, then suddenly, everything went black. 


	15. Betrayal

Quick Note

Hehe, that's what happens even when I say I don't want to leave you hanging.

Oh God, I hate this chapter. Wait - that came out wrong… I love this chapter, but it was a bugger to write, and I think I stuffed it up. Ah well… I tried… Enjoy!

* * *

Chapter Fifteen

Kate felt herself rising from the blackness, to find her head throbbing, and a bitter taste in her mouth. For a moment, she had no idea where she was, then her vision began to clear. She was in a small room, with three white walls, the fourth being glass. She could see a door on the other side, open, but she was alone. Her hands were tied behind her back, and she felt a rising panic.

_They knew_.

* * *

Ben had listened to Juliet's good news, then left to talk with Jack. Not having the same concern about safety as Jack did, he called Jack's name while the doctor was looking into the microscope. Blinking furiously, Jack glanced up.

"Good news, huh?" Jack said after a moment of silence. Ben looked away for a moment, and the sense of unease Jack had been feeling all day - which had temporarily disappeared at Juliet's discovery - came roaring back into place.

"Last chance, Jack," Ben said eventually, finally looking at him. Jack noted that Ben was walking without as much difficulty now. "Tell me which of the women are pregnant. It's to help _them_, Jack."

A shiver went down Jack's spine at Ben's tone.

"'Last chance'," he repeated incredulously. "You know something, Ben? I'm hearing an 'Or else' in there somewhere. And considering I saved you life just over a week ago, I don't think it's very polite to be making threats."

"You want the truth, Jack?" Ben asked harshly. "Now that you and Juliet have solved my problem, you're expendable. So is she. So considering that, I think you better smart up."

For a few seconds, Jack merely glared at Ben, but a sinking feeling made him wonder whether he'd be able to survive long enough for Juliet's plan to come into effect. She's said a couple of days. As long as he had information Ben wanted, he wouldn't kill them.

"No."

Ben sighed. He hadn't wanted Jack to refuse, but he was excited at the prospect of what was coming. "Follow me. I want to show you something."

* * *

Jack followed Ben to a building he wasn't familiar with. Ben gestured for Jack to go through a door, which he did, only for his heart to jump into his throat.

_Kate_, he whispered silently. She was struggling to her feet - struggling due to the fact that her arms were pinned behind her - on the other side of a wall of glass, and then she turned and saw him. He could see the fear, and the confusion, in her eyes, and didn't have to use his imagination to guess what Ben was about to do.

He swung around, to where Ben was standing, just inside the doorway, holding a radio.

"One name, Jack. Just one name…" he said quietly, but unable to hide the threat in his tone. Jack shared another desperate look with Kate, knowing that he couldn't let her die, no matter what the cost. And for a moment, he remembered what Michael had done to save Walt, how he had turned on them, and Jack knew he was about to do the same, and for a moment, he hesitated.

"Go," Ben said into the radio, and Jack turned back to him, horrified. He couldn't…

"Don't look at me, Jack," Ben said, smiling. "I think you want to watch this." And, unable to stop himself, Jack turned back to Kate. For a moment it looked as though nothing was happening, and then Kate's eyes swung upwards, and Jack followed them to see a thin gas streaming into the room. Kate turned back to him, and he realised her fear had progressed to terror.

"Carbon dioxide," Ben informed him helpfully. "I'd say Kate has about… one minute… before she can't breathe."

Kate, perfectly able to hear what Ben was saying, felt her blood run cold. She didn't really expect Jack to hold out, to let her die… but she knew Ben would be perfectly capable of getting the information he wanted, then killing her anyway. Mustering her strength, she kicked at the glass wall, but it didn't even wobble. Once more, she locked eyes with Jack, who appeared in an agony of indecision.

His fear for Kate and his loyalty to his own people suddenly blended into a burning hatred, and he spun towards Ben, grabbing him by the neck.

"You bastard!" he yelled. "You son-of-a-bitch! Stop!" Despite the pressure of Jack's hands on his throat, Ben only smiled.

"If only Kate had the air to be able to yell at people…" he said almost sadly, and Jack thrust him away, and once more faced Kate. The clear-grey gas had three-quarters filled the room now, and Jack knew he had to give up Sun, but knowing that there was still a very real possibility Ben would kill her anyway…

A calm rationality came over him. Sun was on a beach a long way away - Kate was here, in front of him, _dying_. And maybe they _would_ be able to help Sun…

Kate felt the air around her thinning, and tried to steady her breathing, knowing that to panic would only using up the air faster, but already her lungs were straining… and suddenly, she felt tired. For a moment, she wondered why, when her life was at stake, she could feel so tired… so inexplicably _exhausted_… then she vaguely remembered reading somewhere that lack of oxygen made the body switch off, bit by bit…

With a soft groan, she fell to her knees. Unable to break her fall, she grazed the skin on her legs, but could barely feel it. She forced herself to stay awake… but the doubt was rising… Jack was going to stand there and _watch her die_. Whatever they were asking him… she couldn't quite remember what… was not worth her life… and the feeling of betrayal surged up, and as she fell onto her side, her mouth opening and closing, gasping, like a fish out of water (the image seemed funny, even now), and she knew she should never have let herself trust him…

An old adage of her mother's came back to her; _to err is human, but only a fool makes the same mistake twice_. Kate knew she was a fool. For letting herself get close to him, for believing in him, when she knew perfectly well that if Ben wanted her dead, there was nothing Jack could do to stop it…

There was no air in her lungs, and they were prickling, as though with pins and needles… she couldn't really feel them… she wondered if it was supposed to hurt, because if it was, she wasn't feeling it…

She passed out, and her lungs stopped trying to pull in oxygen that wasn't there.

* * *

Jack watched as Kate fell to her knees, and gave up.

"Sun," he breathed, more of an apology to the woman than an answer to Ben.

"Sorry, Jack, I didn't quite catch that," Ben informed him cheerfully. Jack had never wanted to strangle someone more. He spun to face Ben, taking deep breaths to stop himself going completely psycho.

"I tell you, you keep her alive," he said, trying to bargain, but Ben merely looked at his watch, as though trying to calculate how much time Kate had left.

"It's Sun!" Jack yelled, and Ben instantly lifted the radio.

"Craig, we're good," he said, keeping his eyes on Jack the whole time. Jack turned anxiously back to Kate. She wasn't moving. For a moment, he felt the world spin, as he realised he'd been too slow - _he'd killed her_.

Then her chest started pushing up and down, as a new, clear gas began to refill the room with air. She still didn't move, though, and he closed his eyes in aguish. His worry about Kate and the realisation he was in a very bad situation suddenly combined into a burning anger. He found himself moving towards Ben, without deciding anything, without even telling his legs to walk…

But before he could attack, Ben lifted his head, and for a moment, they were staring directly at each other; both leaders, one weakened and desperate, one confident and cruel. Somehow, Jack knew that in fighting physically, in beating the crap out of a man who needed a cane to walk, he would still be losing. Instead, he allowed the hatred free run of his body, hoping Ben could pick it up, hoping he knew that if he ever tried that again…

"Good, Jack," Ben said calmly, once it was obvious Jack wasn't going to strike. The remark was condescending, insulting.

"You sick bastard," Jack muttered angrily, and Ben only smiled once.

"We need to have a talk, Jack," Ben said, and Jack had the gut feeling Juliet's estimate was off by several days. Ben wanted him dead, now. "I'll see you in the morning," he said, indicating Jack out of the room. Somehow, he managed to make his legs move, to get him away from Kate, despite wanting to stay with her. He needed to act smart… to keep them both alive, he needed to obey.

* * *

Jack went back to the house. He sat down in the dining room. Then he began to cry. Not hard, no sobbing or tears, but a relentless shudder that ran through his body again and again. He was a wreck. He probably only had another day to live. Kate probably had even less. And there was nothing he could do. He was a failure.

He'd failed Kate even worse than he'd failed Sarah - and she never wanted to see him again. He sobered up at the thought that he never would see her again. He was going to die, and for a moment, he was scared - then he pushed the thoughts out of his mind, and stood up.

He went into his room, feeling the emptiness of the house - he had never seen it without Kate before. She'd been trapped here the whole time… he paused. Four days? That couldn't be right. Maybe it was five… it didn't seem long enough for everything that had happened.

He saw the note. It was stuck to his pillow. Hardly breathing, not even daring to hope, but unable to stop his pulse quickening, he unfolded the piece of paper. He instantly recognised Juliet's handwriting, and then, for a fraction of a second, he did allow himself to believe.

_Tonight_.


	16. With or Without A Plan

Quick Note

Okay, guys, I'm sorry, but I'm going to have to slow down a bit - I have exams coming up at school, so whether I'll be able to post a chapter every other day is uncertain. I'll post them as I write them, and I'm in a bit of slump, so just be patient. With any luck, you won't notice the wait, but if you do… know I'll be back.

* * *

**Chapter Sixteen**

It so late, Jack couldn't help but classify it as early. He had been watching the minutes tick by on the clock, waiting for Juliet. He wondered if she would come. Surely she would. She had access to the whole camp - as far as they knew, she was one of them. Trying to disguise any noise they would make if - when - she arrived, he put on a CD; Beethoven, for no other reason that it was the first one his fingers came to.

But it was taking so long. The upscale music wasn't really helping the tense feeling running along Jack's spine. He looked at the paper again, reassuring himself of the word on it, telling himself that she was probably delayed, waiting until no-one was watching. Unless she'd already been caught… unless Ben already knew what she was planning…

There was no knock on the door. One minute, he was alone, the next, Juliet was slipping quietly through the front door. She was wearing black, as was he, and had a black satchel strapped over one shoulder. He stood up, carefully not to say anything. Ben would probably be expecting something, and hearing or seeing Jack talking to someone would have him in there like lightning.

She gestured into his room, and he followed, closing the door behind him.

"It's going to be hard, getting out in such a hurry… no preparation…" Juliet whispered anxiously, and Jack nodded seriously.

"Have you got a plan?" he asked, also whispering. She gave a weak smile.

"I think so. I know what we need to do, but pulling it off is going to be…" She didn't finish. They both knew they could very easily end up dead before morning. Juliet knew if Ben found out she was in here right now, she was already as good as.

"Is it worth the risk?" he asked. She bit her lip.

"We stay, we die. It may take a few days for Ben to come up with the reasons he'll need to confront his people, but… eventually…" She paused, and Jack swallowed. "At least this way there's a chance." He nodded, and gestured to her bag.

"What have you got?" he asked.

"Some food and water… enough for a day, for all three of us. Weapons. A compass. All I thought might be useful that isn't too big or heavy, or will be missed too quickly." Jack nodded.

"How are we going to get Kate out?" he asked. She bit her lip.

"I need you to trust me, Jack," she said. He looked at her carefully.

"You say that a lot," he noted.

"And every time, I mean it," she countered.

"Kate's being guarded constantly. Once in, we knock out the guard. I don't want to have to do that… as soon as he wakes up, he'll raise the alarm."

Jack looked towards the door. Juliet followed his gaze, and tensed up. They both knew the risks. They knew the stakes. But neither had much of an idea what to do.

"We go out the door, quietly, quickly," Juliet said, keeping her voice low. They'd both nearly forgotten the need for quiet. "And then, head left, around the house, for the jungle. We check no-one saw us, then we get Kate. Go straight for the jungle. And… run like hell."

She intended the last part as a joke, but Jack didn't laugh. The smile slid off Juliet's face. There was so much they hadn't had time to think of… so much that could go wrong. But she was right - it was their only chance.

* * *

Kate had woken in the same room as before, and her eyes had nervously flickered to the vent near the ceiling. She was surprised that she was alive. The last thing that she could remember thinking was that Jack was going to let her die.

She was alone, and set to pulling her tied hands under her legs. It took a little effort, but she was lithe, and forced the muscles in her arms to stretch. Once her hands were in front of her, though, she wondered if that had been a good idea - just looking at them was enough to make her sick.

The skin along the lower part of her arm was red and chafed, but that was nothing unexpected; where the rope was tied around her wrists, blood flowed freely, and only now did she feel the grain of the rope digging into the open wounds.

Before she made any attempt at getting the rope off - knowing it was unlikely, and stalling to avoid the crushing disappointment - she took another look around the room. It really was small - only about ten feet [three metres along one wall, and fifteen feet along the other, the side with the glass.

Before she'd been unable to notice a door of any kind - but of course, she hadn't had much time to look. Now, curious, she looked around. There had to be something… yes! The door was painted white, the same white as the walls, and it blended in very well. Feeling foolish, she tried the handle, and wasn't surprised when it didn't open.

She looked back at the rope around her wrists. Unlike the handcuffs, she couldn't move her hands even an inch away from each other. She found the knot keeping it together easily enough, but was unable to undo it - not only was she attempting to untie it with her teeth, it was slick with her blood. The taste was enough to make her feel sick, and after a few minutes of trying, she gave up.

Then she began to pace. Having run out of things to focus her mind on, she had to start thinking about what was happening. While she was worried at first that Ben had discovered Juliet's plan, it had soon become obvious it was something else. Kate couldn't really remember what had been happening, but she knew she had been afraid - deathly afraid - and it had been up to Jack to save her.

With barely any warning, she became angry - he'd pissed them off, and she had to pay the price. Since when had she had to depend on someone else to save her life? She didn't want his help! If it hadn't been for him, and his decision to come across the island, she wouldn't even be here. Ever since then, things had gone from bad to worse, and the past week had been contradicting itself so much, she thought she was going crazy.

Now, everything seemed clear - it was all she could do to stop herself shouting at the Others, at whoever was watching her (she didn't see a camera, but she didn't believe that she was completely alone), and telling them that she wanted out now. Screw Jack, she'd survive on her own. The only reason she didn't start yelling was because she was fairly certain they wouldn't listen to her anyway.

Then she heard something. It was faint, but the silence around her allowed her to identify a key turning in a lock - more specifically, the lock in the door on her right.

* * *

Jack and Juliet made it to the building where Kate was being held with no trouble. Juliet knew that they would probably be able to halfway back to the beach camp before Ben noticed them missing if the left now - she didn't like the extra risk that freeing Kate would mean. She would have preferred to be going it alone with Jack, but she knew he would never agree.

They slipped inside, Juliet in front. The entire camp was silent, with an air of expectancy. Jack shivered as he quietly closed the door behind him. At any moment, he expected to see a group of men jumping out, guns raised… or even just shooting without warning…

Juliet cocked her head to the side, listening intently. She couldn't explain to Jack the layout of the building - she just had to hope eh would stay quiet, and follow her. As an extra precaution, she held a finger to her lips, and Jack rolled his eyes.

_Well, duh_, he mouthed. She smiled, and for a moment, wondered if it would be possible to convince him to leave without Kate… but then decided no. He didn't care about the danger. Sighing, she moved along the corridor, placing her feet as softly as possible, hating the echoes that were ringing around her head.

To their left was the room Kate was being held in. Jack recognised the door he'd walked through earlier a few steps away, closed. Juliet led them past it, however, and stopped in front of a door on the right. She reached back, and pulled a hunting knife from the bag on her back. She shared a look with Jack, who swallowed. There was a pause - a brief moment in time, where they knew they had the choice to abandon this plan, to try something else… but they also knew this was their only hope. One last ditch effort, and it had to be good.

_Ready?_ Juliet's eyes asked. Jack nodded. She twisted the handle on the door slowly, waiting until it gave a soft click, then she shoved it open. Jack had a single moment to see a man at a desk, reading a book. Juliet took two long steps forward, the man looked up, saw her - but before he could respond, she had laid the knife across his throat.

Reacting on instinct, he froze. Only his dark eyes flitted around, resting briefly on Jack, then finally stopping on Juliet.

"I don't want to hurt you, Richard," she said. He didn't move, and Juliet knew then he was going to co-operate. "Just give me the keys." Slowly, he reached down to where Juliet could see a dozen or so keys on a loop. Carefully unhooking it from his belt, he put it down on the table.

"Which one?" she asked.

"Small one, second to the left." Juliet grabbed the keys, and chucked them to Jack, who carefully isolated the key in question. He nodded. Juliet moved the knife away from Richard's throat.

"We'll lock him in here," she said. The radio Richard needed to use in an emergency was in the next room. Jack stepped away, already looking through the keys to find one that looked like it went in this door. Juliet was backing out, the knife still carefully positioned to defend her if he tried anything.

"Juliet, wait!" called Richard, as she closed the door. For some reason, one she would wonder at for a long time, she did. He stood up, and she kept her weapon at chest height. For a moment, Richard just stared at her, then he looked down, as though unsure of what to do.

"9-7-3-5-6," was all he finally said. Juliet looked at him for a moment, confused, then realised what they had forgotten in their plan. Their hasty, dangerous, incomplete plan. The code to the sonar fence.

"Thank you," Juliet said, knowing that if they hadn't had the code, and the fence was on, they were all screwed. Richard had just saved their lives.

"Bye, Julie," he said, and she closed the door. Jack had to experiment, but the third key he tried turned, locking Richard inside, unable to tell anyone what was happening. Juliet struggled for a moment, trying to retain her focus.

"Come on."

* * *

"Kate!" Jack whispered as he pulled open the door. She was standing so close, and her expression was strained, so that it was all Jack could do not to pull her into a hug, tell her that everything would be all right.

Juliet came forward with the knife, and for a moment, Kate felt a flicker of doubt. Then the other woman gestured at the rope around her wrists, and Kate held them up, relieved. After sawing at them for a few seconds, there was a give, and they suddenly fell off. Jack was appalled at the sight of her chafed and bleeding wrists.

He took one of her hands, looking carefully, trying to ascertain the extent of the damage. Kate pulled away, and Juliet thrust the knife through her belt.

"Let's go," she said, leading the way.

"You okay?" Jack asked as they headed for the door. This would be the next huge risk - getting out of the building and into the jungle. Once past the tree line they could, as Juliet said, run like hell.

"I'm fine," Kate replied stonily. Jack could sense there was something wrong, but he knew now wasn't the time to ask.

The three of them waited at the door, as though for some signal. Kate could feel her heart pounding. Even without knowing the plan, without knowing what was going to happen, she understood that they were about to take a chance. Everything depended on the next thirty seconds.

Then Juliet pushed the door, slipped outside, and headed for the jungle. She and Jack were both wearing black - Kate, however, was in a red top. It didn't show up as well in the night, but it wasn't ideal - of course, it wasn't like there had been any choice.

The three of them moved at a fast walk, bent down, waiting for a shout, for a gunshot, for some sort of alarm… but nothing. They passed an invisible barrier, separating fear and safety, and they stopped.

Waiting, watching, all senses alert, the night seemed to hold its breath. And then a bird called out, the sound echoing in the darkness, and each let out a breath they hadn't known they were holding.

"Come on," Juliet said. "We want to be as far as possible from here when daylight hits." Sparing one last glance for the darkened village, Juliet took the lead, heading south.


	17. Heading North or South?

Quick Note

Okay… admit it y'all. You missed them. All the other wacky dudes who make up Lost… well, here they are. A bit. They feature more soon. Note: in my version, there's none of the 'Charlie's gonna die' stuff. Only reason: Charlie rules! (S3 Finale made me cry…) Enjoy!

* * *

**Chapter Seventeen**

Dawn began to filter through the jungle canopy, landing softly on fine grains of sand. The sound of the waves crashing onto the shore was muted, as if the ocean recognised that it was too early to oscillate the waves in earnest. Later in the day, the light reflecting off the beach would be harsh and glaring, but in the early morning, the survivors of Oceanic 815 were able to observe the camp without blinding themselves.

And it just so happened that several people _were_ watching the camp; Sayid, Locke, Hurley, Charlie, and Jin were waiting in silence for the last embers from the fire to die out. They had spent much of the night talking; talking about Jack, Kate and Sawyer, for possibly the hundredth time in the past week.

Charlie was determined to do something - set up a rescue mission, go look for them, but Hurley and Locke were cautious. Sayid was quiet during most of the discussion time, as was Jin, who couldn't speak everything he thought, though he did understand most of what they were saying. When they talked to each other, their body language natural, it was easier for him to understand than the times when they tried talking _to_ him, exaggerating their hand movements as if he were stupid.

Last night, however, they had all had to acknowledge that hope was fading. It had been approximately two weeks - Hurley had suggested talking to Rose if they wanted an exact time period, as she was the most capable of keeping track of the days and dates. Sayid and Locke, the soldier and the hunter, were probably the two people in the camp most capable of searching the jungle for their friends, but with Jack and Kate both absent, the rest of the camp needed to turn to somebody. They knew that if they left - and possibly didn't return - the other survivors would be lost.

The last thing they needed was for everyone to panic, which would almost certainly happen if they upped and left, on a mission everyone expected to fail. The Others had all the advantages, as Locke kept saying. It was their territory, they had more weapons, and they knew all about the survivors - who they were, where they were from, what they had done in their lives.

The conversation last night had started out by following its usual pattern. Charlie, adamant that the longer the waited, the less likely they would be to find anyone - or at least, find them alive. Hurley, reiterating the Other's warning, Sayid acknowledging that the one plan he had made had failed miserably. Locke, considering what would happen if they left everyone else here on their own. Jin, drawing a hazy map of what he had seen of the coastline while in the boat, and all of them debating where their friends could have been taken, Locke trying to breach the subject of the coordinates he had seen on Eko's prayer stick, how long it would take to get there… etc, etc, etc.

And then, it had slowly dawned on them. They continued these thrice-daily meetings, because it meant they were planning. They kept planning, because they didn't want to do anything. "So we give them up for dead?" Charlie had asked heatedly, losing his anger to sadness when none of the others would meet his eyes.

Finally, they had given up. And the realisation hurt. They hadn't broken up the meeting, still reluctant to let the general masses know of their decision, albeit one they had no choice but to make. Now, they sat in the pre-dawn, waiting for the fire to burn out, so that they could get up with the excuse of relighting it, or of getting some water, or to check on their wife/girlfriend.

* * *

Charlie walked slowly down the beach, watching the waves roll gently in, balancing Aaron in his arms. Claire was sleeping, and despite spending most of each night awake, Charlie didn't feel tired - just beaten. He knew why Locke and Sayid couldn't leave; they didn't have the people-helping instinct Jack had, or the ability to say that everything would be all right and for everyone to believe it, but they were able to keep their fellow survivors safe. They were an image; seen to be doing something, despite nothing being possible - and in this case, it was easier to believe they were planning something heroic than to accept there was nothing they could do.

But, Charlie thought carefully, there was no reason he couldn't leave. He wouldn't even have to tell them… because they would tell him he was being stupid, that it was up to God now… walking past the abandoned church, Charlie realised God wasn't going to help them.

"What do you think, eh?" he asked Aaron, who gurgled happily up at him, ready to accept the ex-druggie as his surrogate father. "You miss Uncle Jack, mate? You want him back, don't you?" Aaron's only response was to suck on one finger, and Charlie felt a momentarily lightening in his step. Something about spending time with the baby made him feel irrevocably happy… maybe Aaron's simple innocence, or the way he didn't judge anyone, or bring up rational reasons why Charlie couldn't save his friends…

His thoughts turned dark again, then swung straight back to his previous idea. Why couldn't he go? Maybe take Hurley and Jin, leave the running of the camp to Sayid and Locke. Not as a real rescue plan - unless he saw an opportunity - just to find out where they were, if they were all right…

Of course, he didn't have any weapons; if he wanted to arm up, he'd have to go to Sayid, and tell him what he was planning… and somehow, he doubted that the soldier would let him risk his neck, alone.

Charlie set to planning, careful to let no-one but the baby boy in his arms know what he was thinking of doing.

* * *

"I… stay. For Sun," Jin managed to say, Charlie and Hurley nodding their understanding. "No talk Sayid, Locke," he added. Charlie smiled, trying to convey his gratitude, while Hurley gave Jin a thumbs up, indicating that this was the right thing to do.

"So, dude," Hurley began, as Charlie led him up the beach. "Just us? I mean… that's kinda… dangerous, isn't it?"

"Ah, but it's not just us," said Charlie, walking into the cool recess of the jungle. "I already talked to someone else - someone who said they would go and find a gun."

"Really? Who?"

But before Charlie could respond, Desmond stepped out from behind a tree, holding a rifle. Charlie's eyes flicked to it, and he nodded appreciatively.

"Not too hard?"

"Nope. John wanted to come with, but I said I worked better on my own, especially when I'm trying to look after two newbies."

"Excellent," Charlie said brightly, and the trio started to head for the caves, where Charlie had stashed a bag full of supplies - it wouldn't do for Sayid to see them congregating on the beach.

"So, brothers," said Desmond, strapping the rifle onto his back. "Who's ready to go boar hunting?" The three shared a conspiratorial smile.

"I think we'll… get lots of boars," said Hurley, who, like Charlie, was impatient to go after such a long period of inactivity.

"Of course, you two are beginner hunters… and the boar have moved farther away, so it'll probably take us a few days…" Desmond said, smiling.

They headed towards the caves, to pick up their pre-readied supplies.

* * *

Locke watched as Charlie and Hurley headed into the jungle, smiling faintly. He would tell Sayid later. They needed to try - that much was obvious. And if they failed, then life at the camp could go back to normal. Well, almost. Without Jack, it would be an adjustment, but they would be okay…

* * *

Kate paused at the tree line, looking out nervously. The sun had broken through the trees an hour ago, and Jack had ordered a break. Watching, Juliet was reminded of a hunted animal; only after triple-checking that the coast was clear did Kate head for the creek. The water Juliet had packed was limited, and to be used for drinking only - Kate was anxious to clean the gashes in her wrists. She didn't doubt they were infected, but she wasn't in the mood for Jack to be looking at them.

Juliet waited a moment before going out to talk to her. She didn't know the words she would need to explain. She wasn't sure she wanted to explain. She made sure to walk loudly, not wanting Kate to think she had been sneaking up on her. The brunette looked up, and Juliet crouched down beside her.

"Hey," she said softly. Kate met her gaze, but didn't say anything. Juliet gestured to Kate's arms, which were below the surface of the water. "How are they?" she asked. She could see fresh blood flowing out.

Kate shrugged. "I'll be fine. Had worse." For a few moments, there was an awkward silence. Kate realised now that most of her conversations with Juliet usually followed a pattern like this - and pretty soon, Juliet would say what she had come to say, and leave.

"You want something?" Kate asked eventually, anxious for a little privacy. Juliet looked down for a moment then back up.

"Can I ask you something?" she began, and Kate smirked, indicating a poor word choice. Juliet continued. "Do you trust me?" Kate sighed.

"You keep asking that."

"Well, it's just… sometime late today, we're going to arrive at your camp. And your people won't trust me. So…" She trailed off.

"Have you given me a reason to trust you?" Kate asked.

"I helped you out!"

"Why?"

"Because! Does it matter? It proves I'm on your side." Kate looked away for a moment, thinking carefully. An image came into her mind, the look on Jack's face as he followed Juliet…

"No. You're not, actually," she said after a while, turning back to Juliet, who did her best to look confused. Kate clarified for her. "I've seen the way you look at him. Hell, I can't blame you; but the only reason you're helping me is to impress him - to make him think you're the perfect friend."

Juliet looked down. "I'm not working against you…" she said carefully. Kate didn't respond, and after a minute of discomfort, Juliet stood, and left, displeased but not surprised by Kate's reaction.

* * *

"You really think they'll be okay with me?" Juliet asked, trying to hide her anxiety. Jack stopped fiddling with the compass and looked at her.

"Sure they will. 'Cause I'll tell them it's okay."

"You think they'll still trust you?" Jack went back to fiddling with the compass. The sun was shining brightly in the east, and the compass was pointing nearly directly at it. He didn't answer Juliet's question, because he had no idea. It felt good to be going back - he doubted that it would feel so good when they finally got back.

"Something's wrong with this needle," he muttered. Juliet glanced at it.

"It points east."

"It should point north," he growled, frustrated. He tapped on the side, trying to move the needle, but stopped when he saw a smile tugging at the sides of Juliet's mouth. "What?"

"They _all_ point east, here. Electromagnets in the earth."

"Doesn't that defeat the purpose?" he asked.

"The point of a compass is to consistently point in one direction, so you know where you are going. So long as you keep in mind that it's not pointing north, you'll be fine."

Jack sighed. "You can navigate," he muttered, thrusting the compass back at her. His mood had deteriorated over the past couple of minutes, and it wasn't because of the compass. They weren't making as much progress as he would have hoped, and he was hiding his worry with irritation. He believed they had come so far, pulled off such an idiot plan so flawlessly, that it would be very ironic if they were caught now.

"Do you think they're following?" he asked.

"Probably. They won't let us go easy, but we have a decent head start. We should make it back to your camp before nightfall, if we pick up the pace a little… so long as we don't run into any of the scouts, we'll be fine."

Jack was already nodding before he realised what she had said. "Scouts?" Juliet looked up.

"There aren't many. Maybe two or three groups, and they all go in different directions, with only four or five people in each group. They go out hunting, foraging -"

"Looking for escapees?" Jack demanded. Now he was very worried. Juliet just smiled, ignoring his concern.

"We've never had any of those before," she informed him. "And they wouldn't know…"

"Unless they have a walkie talkie with them, and someone calls them, and tells them!" This, at least, gave Juliet pause. At that moment, however, Kate came back into the clearing, twisting her hair behind her head. Juliet flashed another smile at Jack, regaining her composure.

"It'll be fine," she reassured him, and they continued walking, in a direction Jack had to assume was south.


	18. Scouts

Quick Note

Wow, this part is really part of the last chapter, but I figured it was getting too long… wow. As chapters go, this is… pretty long. But, it is mostly filler; sorry. There are a few good bits, though.

* * *

**Chapter Eighteen**

The sun was high above the trees, and Jack, Kate and Juliet were still moving. Anxious for speed, Jack hadn't called another break, though he suspected he would have to soon. Maybe they should give up on making it back today; it wasn't like a major loss. But more prominent than the ideal of home was the threat following them. While Juliet had assured him it was fine, and they hadn't talked about it further, Jack was still worried. He couldn't help but start at the sound of a bird taking off above him, or of an animal treading through the jungle.

Juliet was still in the lead, Jack only a few paces behind. Kate, however, was lagging; she didn't like being last in line, and despite her reputation as the one to go on every hike anyone had ever wanted to organise, she was tired. None of them had had much sleep, and they were all driven by the same motivation, so she couldn't explain it.

Jack, however, knew why Kate had dropped back, but was also sure she wouldn't want him coming back for her. She still hadn't let him look at the chafing on her wrists, and he was worried that the blood loss would weaken her. If Juliet hadn't been there, perhaps she would have let him help; but now that he thought about it, she had never asked him for medical assistance before, and she was too stubborn to start now.

Perhaps the reason no-one heard the sound of pursuit was because of the forced pace they were moving at. Or it could have been due to the pre-occupied thoughts flitting around each of their heads. But whatever it was, they heard it too late:

Kate lifted her head at the sound of a stick snapping to her left. Jack had finally decided to go back and walk a little closer, in case she was feeling pressured to move faster. Juliet noticed the lack of Jack's presence at her shoulder and turned. For a single moment in time, everything was frozen, and for a split second, Kate could see the figure of a man, crouched in the trees, the barrel of a gun pointing straight at her. Then the spell was broken.

"Run!" she screamed, jumping forward, as a volley of shots sliced through the air behind her. Not needing another second to think, Jack was moving, Kate in front, Juliet just behind him. They had no destination in mind, and the sudden thumping of their hearts blocked out any noise from behind them.

"This way!" Juliet called, coming in front and swinging to the right, literally cutting off Jack's headlong sprint. He had no choice but to turn, and Kate followed suit.

Kate heard the shot, but it took her a moment before she linked the sound of the bullet thudding into a bone with the sight of Jack dropping in front of her. By the time she had even registered the fact that he was on the ground, she was running past him. Twisting on the spot, she dropped to his side.

"Move," he gasped out. She ignored him, pulling one of his arms around her shoulders, and lifting him back to his feet. He tried to push her away, but she wouldn't let go. "Damn it, Kate! Run! Go!"

By the time she had him on his feet, blood soaking through his jeans, the jungle around them was silent. From some instinct, Kate froze. Either the pursuit had given up - unlikely - or they had some greater plan. A rustling in the trees around them caused Kate to shiver, and as a droplet of fear curdled in her stomach, she realised she knew exactly where the shooters were.

They were surrounded. She twisted her head frantically, looking for any sign, but she couldn't see anyone. Yet somehow, she knew they were there. And almost in the same breath as she realised this, the feeling vanished. They were gone - or they had never been there. She didn't know which.

Jack obviously realised the danger was gone, too, because he suddenly lifted an arm, and gingerly felt the side of Kate's neck. Pain rocketed along her arm, and she couldn't help but gasp aloud. Jack moved his fingers away, showing her the blood.

"Must have grazed me," she said shakily. "How's your leg?" she asked, then immediately felt stupid - he'd just been shot! How did she think it would feel?

"Dunno… can't feel it. It's gone kinda… numb…" Jack said carefully. "We'd better find Juliet; keep moving." One arm around Kate's shoulders, Jack carefully limped in the direction he thought Juliet had gone. Kate couldn't help but feel he was avoiding the issue.

"Do you think they gave up?" Jack shrugged, not looking at her, unable to hide the tingling he felt at being so close to her. "Jack, they had us dead to rights! Why would they let us go?" Once again, he shrugged, and, angry, Kate decided not to pursue it. Maybe Juliet would know.

Kate couldn't help but feel a twinge of annoyance at the other woman, for running when Kate went back to help Jack. At the same time, she knew that Juliet couldn't have helped, and that she may not even have known what had happened.

All these bitter thoughts evaporated in an instant. Juliet was lying on her side in the dirt, blood dripping from a wound on her head. Jack pushed Kate aside, and staggered over, his chest filling with a dull ache. Kate was too stunned to move. Without any real hope, Jack placed his fingers on Juliet's pale, exposed neck, and was shocked to feel a strong pulse.

Carefully, he brushed aside the a few blonde hairs, to find the source of the wound. It wasn't hard - an enormous bruise was colouring one side of her head, and it took Jack several moments to understand what he was seeing. A bullet had struck the side of her head - but for two reasons, it hadn't caused much damage: it had hit at an angle, breaking skin rather than bone, and from the lack of force, Jack had to assume it was a ricochet.

Suddenly, her eyes snapped open, and she rolled over, instinctively bringing one hand up to push him away. After a few tense seconds, her eyes focused, and her hand fell back.

"What happened?" she whispered. Jack moved his fingers away from her skull.

"One of your damn scouting parties," Jack replied angrily. Juliet pushed herself into a sitting position, gripping Jack's arms to regain her balance. Her head was spinning, and her vision was cloudy. She saw the stain creeping around his pants.

"You're bleeding," she said, reaching forward to see for herself.

"We should keep moving," Kate said tightly, breaking the moment. Jack pushed Juliet's hand away.

"You were hit by a ricochet. Tell me if you feel dizzy, or sick. You'll have a killer headache soon," he informed her briskly. Juliet nodded.

"We… we gotta keep moving…" Jack said, and both women looked at him in concern. For a moment, he couldn't see, but he forced the pain away, and lifted himself back up. "I'm fine. Come on."

After only another ten minutes of walking, however, it was clear he was _not_ fine. He would have to stop a catch his breath every few minutes, and the going was slow. Juliet and Kate were supporting him, one on either side, and he had to accept the help. Juliet's head was pounding, but she could still think clearly, whereas Kate was feeling dizzy. She was reluctant to say anything, however, so she put one foot in front of the other.

They couldn't have travelled more than a single mile when the decision to stop for a break was forced upon them. With a groan, Jack fell forward, only remaining upright because of the girls' support.

"Let's rest a moment," Juliet said tactfully. They eased Jack onto the ground, and he closed his eyes as another shaft of pain ripped through him.

"I'm slowing you down," he said through clenched teeth. Kate glanced at him sharply.

"If you're thinking of saying what I think you want to say, don't even open your mouth," she said harshly. A weak smile tried to pull at Jack's lips, but another spasm echoing from his leg made him grit his teeth and hold his breath. Kate exchanged a worried glance with Juliet; keeping Jack safe was one thing they could agree on.

"I think it's going to rain," Jack mumbled, his eyes closing. Surprised, Kate looked up; the sky was overcast, but she guessed Jack wasn't basing his thoughts for rain on that. He was delirious.

"Jack?" she asked tentatively.

"Make sure… you get the charts… by Wednesday…" he said, and Kate exchanged an exasperated look with Juliet.

"Now what?" she asked. Juliet met her eyes, but before they could say anything, Jack's rambling prediction came true; it began to rain. Within seconds, they were drenched. Juliet pulled them back to the problem at hand.

"We need to carry him," she said loudly over the pouring rain. Kate stared at her.

"He must weigh more than the two of us put together!" she argued.

"You want to leave him here?" Juliet countered, and Kate gritted her teeth, taking her position on Jack's right. Juliet came forward, onto his left, and together, they lifted as hard as they could. With extreme effort, they were able to move slowly forward.

The pace was even slower than before, because Jack was no longer supporting any of his own weight. Half an hour later, the rain had stopped, but so had the two women.

"We can't do this!" Kate said miserably. Juliet stared at her.

"You got any better ideas?" Juliet asked angrily.

"Well, it might have helped if you hadn't led us straight to a bunch of your people, who were quite happy to start shooting at us!"

"I didn't know they were there!" Juliet exclaimed, affronted.

"Are you sure about that?" Kate replied coldly.

"What are you suggesting?"

"You set us up!" Kate accused. Juliet stared at her, speechless, giving Kate the opportunity to continue. "We just _happen_ to stumble across a couple of armed scouts in the jungle. You _mistakenly_ led us right to them!" Finally, Juliet found her voice.

"I was running right next to you! I could have been killed just as easily as you could have."

"Actually, I noticed you were running a fair way in front - once the bullets start flying, it's every man for himself, right? You're here to save your own skin - and you already told me as much, so don't try and deny it."

Kate glared at Juliet, shaking with the emotion running though her. She felt weak, angry, and betrayed - again - and she needed to take it out on someone. For a few minutes, the two just stared at each other, drawing the battle lines. Each knew they could end the discussion by going back to Jack, and recommencing their southward struggle - but neither wanted to. Then Juliet smiled coldly.

"Okay. If you feel like that…" she turned, and began walking away.

"Hey!" Kate yelled. "Where you going?"

"Well, seeing as I'm only out here to save myself, and I don't care about you, or Jack, why should I stay? I'd make a lot better progress on my own."

"You have no where to go," Kate reminded her, more as a mocking insult than a piece of advice. Juliet stopped, and looked back. Neither moved.

"I don't think coming back to your camp was ever really a good option. Your friends won't trust me. They'll hate me. I won't be able to go anywhere without one of them watching every move I make. And don't you try and deny that."

Kate wasn't about to try; and neither did she mention that she would have been one of the ones hawking Juliet. However, she knew that if there was one hope for getting back safely - or at least without further mishap - it was Juliet.

"I can't do this on my own," she said, her voice flat. She didn't want it to sound like she was asking for help, even though she was.

"You think you can do it with me?" Juliet asked. "Could you work alongside me for a few hours, if that's what it takes to save his life?" Kate paused, the fight taken out of her. This was about saving Jack - that was all that really mattered, wasn't it?

Eventually she nodded her head stiffly, and Juliet acknowledged a win.

"Okay," she said. "Let's move."

As they walked, Kate found herself stumbling, unable to see the uneven patches of ground due to her vision starting to swirl.

"You okay?" Juliet asked after a while, but Kate dismissed her worries.

"I'm fine."

"Well, you've lost a lot of blood… and if Jack was awake, he'd be telling you to take it easy -"

"Shut it," Kate growled, too tired for talking. They slowly walked south, each caught up in their own thoughts.

* * *

The drooping sun was slowly pulling the day to a close. Already, the jungle was growing dark, and both Kate and Juliet were holding out, seeing who would be the first to suggest they stop. Kate had long ago lost most of the feeling in her legs, and when she had rubbed her neck a few minutes ago, her hand had pulled away slick with blood. She was too tired to feel it, or care.

Kate, having always been able to do whatever she needed to, wasn't used to her body letting her down. She had only made it this far, hauling Jack beside her, by concentrating on the faces of all the people she had missed, and promising herself she would be back soon.

"It's getting dark," Juliet said after a while. It wasn't a suggestion to stop, even though both women were exhausted.

"Let's go a little further. Until we find a good place to stay the night," Kate suggested tiredly.

"'Kay," Juliet mumbled, also depleted of energy.

They kept walking; they might have moved all night, if at that moment there hadn't been the sound of something coming towards them. Juliet stopped, as the branches in front of them parted.

Kate had spent the last few hours dreaming of her friends; so the sight of Charlie, Hurley, and Desmond, was to her nothing more than a beautiful hallucination. Nevertheless, she couldn't help but make a final, desperate appeal to the mirage.

"Help," was all she had time to whisper before she fainted.


	19. Who The Hell Are You?

Quick Note

My God. Sorry guys, but our Jate story has an entire chapter without Jack and Kate. Well, they're there… they just don't… do much. Oops. But seriously, if I didn't put this in, you'd all be like, WTF? So, I promise they'll be back soon. I hope I got the other characters right - they'll be featuring a lot more, so if anyone has any ideas, suggestion, etc, I'm all ears. (Well, eyes…)

* * *

**Chapter Nineteen**

For a moment, everyone just stared. Juliet was now supporting Jack's weight entirely on her own, and she realised now just how much effort Kate had been putting in; before she had been suspecting the other women of slacking off, but she had obviously underestimated her own tiredness.

The first to move was Desmond - he pulled the rifle off his back and instantly it was pointing at Juliet. She liked the idea of putting her hands in the air - an 'I'm not a threat' signal - but she couldn't while she was still holding Jack upright. She wondered if she should put him on the ground, but the idea of moving and getting shot was not too encouraging.

She couldn't help but realise that whatever she did now would have a very long lasting effect - her first contact with Jack's people, and they were holding her at gunpoint. _I was hoping at least one of them would be conscious for this_, she thought, her gaze flickering uneasily between the three men and the gun.

No-one seemed to know what to say; Juliet didn't want to say anything that might aggravate them, but neither did she want to remain silent. Eventually, Desmond broke the silence, the whole time keeping the rifle aimed at her chest.

"Who are you?" he said quietly, but the stillness at that moment, as the sun finally set, made it perfectly easy to hear him. Juliet licked her lips nervously, wondering what she could say that wouldn't be taken in the wrong way. Fortunately, Charlie spoke before she had to think of an answer.

"Jack?" he asked quietly, obviously shocked.

"Do you mind?" Juliet said eventually. "He is really heavy." Desmond's eyes flickered for a moment.

"Put him down, slowly," he commanded. Juliet did so, gingerly. She double-checked Jack's pulse - it was weak, and intermittent, and then stood back up, unflinching in the gun's stare.

"He's injured," she said imploringly. Desmond wasn't finished yet.

"The knife in your belt. Get rid of it," he instructed, and Juliet slowly pulled the knife out, then threw it to the side. Hurley, closest to it, reached down and grabbed it. "Step back," he then said. Juliet did so, her heart hammering. In her mind, she had seen meeting Jack's people as an awkward situation - them not trusting her, possibly wanting to keep her away from their camp - but she had assumed that Jack would be there to speak for her, to assure them that she was a friend…

"I'm not an enemy," she tried to tell them, as Charlie ducked forward, to check on Jack and Kate. Desmond didn't lower the gun.

"He's been shot in the leg," Charlie said after a moment. Desmond finally seemed to hear Juliet.

"Oh yeah - so who are you then?"

"I'm a friend. I helped them escape. You can ask me anything later -" Juliet spared Jack another quick glance. The movement was not lost on the other three. "But he's hurt. We need to get them back to your camp -"

"What makes you think you should be coming to our camp?" Charlie asked viciously, cutting off Juliet's plea.

"I have some medical training…" she said, trailing off.

"So you're like… Their doctor?" Hurley asked. Juliet was starting to get angry. Now that they were talking, it was fairly obvious Desmond wasn't about to shoot her.

"No, Ethan was our doctor, but I spent a spent three years in med school. They need help, why are you wasting time…" She paused at the look on Charlie's face; he was staring daggers, and she felt a chill. She'd done exactly what she had been trying not to - make them feel threatened, and defensive.

She had said 'our'. It took several moments before the weight of that sentence appeared in her mind, and it was enough to send a shiver down her spine. What was worse, she had mentioned Ethan - someone they had valid reason to fear. Juliet felt another spike of fear when she recalled it had been _Charlie_ who had killed Ethan. The man in front of her now, the one sending her a threatening - and almost promising - stare.

Finally, Desmond seemed to realise that one thing she had said was true; while they were interrogating her, Jack was weakening. But this presented him with another problem - they couldn't carry Jack and Kate back, while he was still holding the gun. After another few moments of tense silence, he dropped the nose of the rifle, then re-slung it over his shoulder.

"We carry them back. You," Desmond nodded at Juliet. "Walk in front. Keep your hands by your sides. Don't even think of trying anything." Juliet nodded, grateful that at least they were going to start helping Jack.

"As soon as one of them wakes up, they'll tell you," she muttered, though she wasn't sure if any of them had heard her.

* * *

Before the night was halfway over, the trio had made it back to the caves. It had been Charlie's idea to go there, because not only was it a little closer, they didn't want the entire camp aware of what was going on; or more precisely, they didn't want anyone to know about Juliet.

"It would scare them," Desmond agreed, and Juliet had been able to do nothing but scowl and go where she was told.

After the hatch had been opened, everyone had unanimously moved to the beach. It wasn't an indication of lack of faith in the caves, but a fair few had left simply because they preferred the beach, and then the remainder had decided it would be safer to stick together, as a community. People still made daily trips for water, but apart from that, the caves were usually deserted.

So it was with no great surprise that the rescuers came in to find the area deserted, the only sound in the night the splattering of water. Charlie was sent to find Sayid or Locke, while Desmond checked over Kate and Jack's injuries. Juliet was ordered to sit in one spot, and not to move, with Hurley keeping watch in case she tried anything.

Desmond sighed as he double-checked Kate. The graze on her neck wasn't serious; by itself it wouldn't have been much danger. But he couldn't help a boiling anger rise when he saw her wrists. It was instantly obvious what had caused those marks - though Desmond didn't fail to notice it didn't look as though Jack had been tied up at all.

The bullet in Jack's leg had lodged next to an artery, and when he had tried walking on it, he had pushed it in the path of the artery; not only causing him to bleed further, but preventing any blood getting down his leg to his feet. Desmond figured it was a good thing he had passed out when he had.

It only took fifteen minutes for Charlie to run to the beach, find Sayid, and bring him back to the caves. The Iraqi strode in, not even asking why they had been far out in the jungle. He froze at the sight of Juliet.

"What is she doing here? Who is she?" he asked, the first question obviously more important to him.

"I'm a friend," Juliet said before any of the others could speak. Sayid's dark eyes never left her, and she tried valiantly to remain tall under that gaze, but it was difficult.

"She keeps saying that," Charlie noted sourly. "Do we have any evidence of it?"

"I helped them escape!" she cried, gesturing at Jack and Kate. She spared a brief glance the doctor's direction, but he didn't look like he was going to wake up and defend her anytime soon. She was on her own, and she wasn't happy.

"It was your people who abducted them in the first place!" Sayid countered, and Juliet felt her cheeks burn, and hated herself for it.

"You have no idea what happened out there," she said angrily. Sayid continued staring at her, letting the silence lengthen. It was a common technique used to extract more information; after a while, the subject becomes so flustered by the silence, they continue on their own. Juliet, however, waited, wanting to see how long before Sayid would give up.

The air crackled with tension; Hurley and Charlie, while not familiar with the practise, knew not to interrupt. Desmond was interested to see where this confrontation would lead - already, he found he had a grudging respect for the woman, and her mostly-cool temperament.

"What is your name?" Sayid asked eventually, after several minutes of the battle of wills. Deciding not to press her luck, Juliet didn't rub it in his face that she had won.

"Juliet," she answered. Sayid didn't blink, or move in any way. "Juliet _Bourke_," she added sarcastically. "As if it matters."

"Why did you help out friends escape?" he asked softly. The lack of volume didn't make him seem any less intense - if anything, it made the need to answer greater, if only to add some noise to the vast space, to disband the echoing silence.

"Because I wanted to. Because, for some reason, they're my friends too, now." Juliet didn't add that she'd been saving her own life; Kate had already used this argument against her once, and Juliet didn't want to give Sayid any more ammunition. She was already feeling decidedly nervous - she was one of the first people to see Ben after he escaped, and knowing that the man interrogating her now - however passively - was a torturer didn't do much to ease her anxiety.

They had entered another staring contest, and the sheer _emptiness_ in Sayid's eyes - a look that meant he was ready to do whatever it took to get what he wanted - forced Juliet to give in, and look away. Apparently satisfied, Sayid turned to Desmond.

"How are they?" he asked. Charlie had mentioned they were both unconscious, but hadn't given him any further information.

"Well, your doctor has a bullet in one leg - very close to an artery, so I'm not sure if I can get it out - and the girl seems fine, but a bit banged up. You should see for yourself, brother," Desmond added, not at all keen to be the one to break the news of Kate's injuries. Jack being shot was a logical wound - the bleeding rope burns and Kate's overall lack of condition seemed barbaric.

Sayid nodded, and moved over to where Jack was lying, on the remains of what had once been a bed. Before he did so, however, he glanced once more at Juliet. She met his gaze for a few seconds, and he too felt a kind of respect for her, then they both turned away.


	20. His Dream, This Time

Quick Note

Okay, I don't know if anyone got the little message I left in the reviews section, but if not, know that I'm having SERIOUS computer trouble - all my files were deleted! I only had a backup of Chapters 1 - 19, so I'm having to rewrite 20, which was practically finished and was about to go up. Deepest apologies, and I'll do everything I can to keep posting (my modem still works fine). Also, I have my yearly exams soon, so I need some revision time; aka, less writing time (it hurts me as much as it hurts you).

Considering this is the second time I've written this chapter (Grrrr…) I hope its pretty good!

By the way, this fic is getting close to its end… it's maybe… two thirds complete. I have a vague idea of a few things I want to see happening, and yes… the Kate-Jack ahem-ahem scene will come soon… I think very soon. And a little hint… the last part of this chapter is NOT completely random.

* * *

**Chapter 20**

Sayid sighed, and rubbed his temples. He spared a glance for Kate; she was sweating profusely, which Desmond had assured him was a _good_ sign, and moving a little now and then. The noise from outside was annoying at best; downright aggravating at worst. Juliet wanted to see Kate - despite being told she was still unconscious, the blonde claimed she could help. Sayid didn't trust her in the slightest, and had informed her it wasn't going to happen. Ever since, she'd been arguing with Hurley, trying dozens of different methods to let her in.

Sayid was distracted as Kate gave a groan, and rolled over. The muscles in her eye lids were flickering, and he wondered whether she was about to wake up. He hoped so; and yet, it was a moment he dreaded. As soon as she did, he would want to know what had happened - he wouldn't be able to help himself from asking, even though he knew quizzing her wasn't probably the nicest thing to do - and he would have to assess whether they could trust Juliet. He hoped not - it was easier to hate blindly than to reconstruct his opinion.

It turned out there was a technique Juliet hadn't tried yet, in her attempts to get in. She'd bargained, pleaded, demanded, all to no avail. Now, she stopped talking, and pushed her way through, ignoring Hurley's protests. Hurley quickly followed her, but she was already inside, and Sayid was standing up.

"Get out," he said, before she could say anything. She scowled at him, ready to start arguing with him instead, but another voice interrupted.

"It's okay. She can stay." Sayid turned. Kate was sitting up, looking weak but alert. Meeting his gaze, it looked as though she wanted to say something; but instead, she looked down. Hurley waited, to see what Sayid would say - Juliet had obviously been telling the truth, insisting that Kate or Jack would speak for her, but he knew Sayid wouldn't be happy about it. Juliet didn't break the silence, hoping that Kate would be able to convince her people that she wasn't an enemy.

Finally, Sayid nodded curtly, and stepped back, though not out of range. Juliet moved forward, and Kate looked up again. She had the odd feeling that she could talk much more easily to Juliet than any of her friends right now; maybe because here was someone who didn't need to ask what had happened, who wouldn't pressure her into feeling better.

"You okay?" Juliet asked softly. Kate gave only a glimmer of a contemptuous look, before shrugging. Normally, she would have asked "why do you care?", which was a sort of personal catchphrase she had developed for situations where Juliet was concerned - but she knew that right now, much more was at stake than their rivalry over Jack. She shrugged.

There was an uncomfortable silence. The two women didn't really have all that much to say to each other, and Kate didn't feel like speaking just to make noise. Sayid gave Juliet another glance, and Kate felt a twist inside; maybe they had been wrong, agreeing to bring Juliet back. Of course, after helping them escape, it wasn't too much to ask. And it wasn't like she had anywhere else to go.

"How's Jack?" Kate asked suddenly, looking up at Sayid.

"He is injured… his leg is rather bad, but he'll live. Desmond's looking after him." Juliet's lips thinned, and Kate guessed she hadn't been allowed to ask after Jack either. She wondered why Desmond was involved, but didn't ask further. She'd never had much interaction with the Scotsman, apart from the time he'd made Locke shut her in a pantry.

"Can I see him?" she asked, already standing up. Sayid was struck for a moment by her strength; then he remembered that was how Kate had always been, ever since she had first come with him on the laborious trek up the mountain, trying to make the transceiver work.

"He's still out," he warned her, but seeing her jaw tighten ever so slightly, he quickly added, "But you can wait with him…" She nodded, and he led the way to the cave Jack was lying in. Juliet followed too, and Sayid was about to protest, when Kate shot him a look; it wasn't a warning or threatening look, just one of perpetual sadness. Wondering about it, he bit his tongue, and ignored the blonde woman's presence.

* * *

"Charlie?" a voice called; he instantly recognised it, both by the strine and the warm feeling he felt in his chest at the sound of it. Charlie turned, and saw Claire coming down the beach, Aaron in her arms.

"Hey!" he called, smiling. She gave him a sincere but slightly anxious smile.

"You're back," she noted, and he looked down momentarily. By waiting, she forced him to look back up, and into her incredibly blue, slightly betrayed, eyes. "You didn't tell me you were going." Charlie licked his lips.

"Ah… well, we didn't want anyone to know…" he paused, realising he was very close to revealing where they _had_ gone, which he still wasn't supposed to be telling anyone. "It was like… a guy thing," he eventually settled on lamely. She glared at him, and he bit his lip, looking down again.

"There's a rumour going around, that you went out to look for Jack, Kate and Sawyer," she stated. Charlie glanced up sharply, surprised; it was enough for her to see she was right. "You were only gone less than a day," she added, and he couldn't detect whether it was a statement or a question.

"Oh… well… you see…" he stuttered, wondering what he could tell her. He _hated_ lying to her, but it was unavoidable. If the whole camp found out now, they'd all rush up to the caves, and not only would Jack and Kate - if they had woken up yet - feel a little overwhelmed, Sayid had very precisely warned Charlie not to let anyone know about Juliet. Charlie glanced back up at Claire.

"I'll tell you, but you have to keep it a secret, all right?" he said, and she smiled.

"Did you find them?" she asked excitedly.

"Well… yeah," Claire grinned, but it slowly slid off her face when Charlie didn't join her.

"Are they…" she hesitated. Charlie looked out at the ocean, and for a moment, watched the waves crashing on the shore. It felt slightly belittling - here he was, a tiny human on a small beach, just a part of the world. The rest of the world didn't know they were here, and most of them wouldn't care. Finally, he looked back at Claire.

"Well, Jack and Kate were both unconscious… she passed out as soon as she saw us, she'd been carrying him… but - Sawyer… we don't know." Claire looked down at Aaron, and shifted him in her arms. "And I think it's best not to have everyone rush up to them, I mean… when I saw them last, they weren't even awake."

Finally, Claire seemed satisfied, and even a little understanding.

"You're right. They'll need a little time to adjust… to being safe again. To come to terms with it." Charlie suddenly realised Claire wasn't talking about Jack and Kate. "I know how that feels," she finished quietly, and for a few moments, they just looked out at the ocean together, knowing that even if the rest of the world didn't care, they did.

* * *

Kate sat quietly beside Jack's bed, her legs crossed on the cold ground. Juliet stood on his other side, Desmond and Sayid both watching from the cave mouth. Kate wanted to touch him; to reassure herself that he was alright, that soon he would wake up and take over again… but she wouldn't, not while everyone else was watching. Somehow, the trust she had invested in him the night she told him of her past had evaporated, and there was a terrified part of her that felt sure this was another betrayal… he would die, just like Sawyer had died, and leave her all alone…

She'd always been alone. She wanted things to be different, just this once.

* * *

Jack walked through the jungle slowly. It was dark… maybe night was coming, or it could just be the storm clouds above were blocking out the sun. He was looking for something, but he couldn't quite recall what. All he knew was that if he didn't find it, he would die; there was something out here in this jungle that held power over his life.

His steps grew more hurried. He didn't have long, he knew. There was a timer in his head, counting down, and every second ticked in his head, echoing dangerously.

"Where are you?" he asked quietly, then shouted it. "Where are you?!" It wasn't until now he realised that what he was searching for was a person, though the who wasn't clear to him.

A voice whispered through the jungle, the trees distorting the sound, as if it were bouncing off the coming night, and Jack spun around, searching.

"Come find me…" the voice whispered. He couldn't tell whether it was male or female, or which direction it originated from, but he heard the taunting challenge in it. "I'm right over here… come and kill me, Jack! You can't, Jack…"

Frantic now, Jack began running. He wasn't sure whether he was trying to run away from or to the voice, but his heart was beating with a sickening urgency, and he knew his time was almost up.

He slipped, only just managing to keep on his feet. When he stood up again, he saw Kate standing only a few feet from him. Her hands were cuffed in front of her; he only had a moment to recognise just how sensuous they made her seem, before he noticed the blooming red spot on her white shirt.

For a moment, he stared at the blood, his brain unable to comprehend what it meant. Then he slowly lifted his gaze, his eyes meeting Kate's. There was no fear, or anger… or emotion. She just looked at him, if anything, strangely triumphant.

"Me or her, Jack… Come and find me!" the voice taunted once more, and desperate for a way out, Jack spun around, falling over… landing on his back… he tried to rise, but there was someone pushing on his chest, stopping him.

"Jack!"

He opened his eyes, and found himself staring into Kate's, only now they were bright and alert, and her fear for him was plain to see.


	21. BeachFight

Quick Note

Once again, my deepest apologies for the slow update. Warning, the problem isn't solved yet - I'm using a temporary computer and several CDs. It makes everything very hard. I'm also writing this in WordPad, which doesn't have a spell checker, so if you see any mistakes, I'm sorry, though I tried my best to edit them out (I used a God-damn dictionary!). And I also have no idea how long this chapter is, so if it's too short, deal with it - the next chapter will be good. I promise. It's the one you've all been waiting for. And I'll stop there before I start talking about rainstorms.

Okay, I actually had two reviews! Thank you very much, they were both really kind. BTW, a quick poll... how would you feel if I killed off Kate? LOL, just kidding, I couldn't really do that, though I thought of this plot line on the bus that would really work...

Never mind. Enjoy!

**Chapter 21**

Two days passed. Within hours, the entire camp knew not only that Jack and Kate were back, alive and moderately well, they had also found out about Juliet. Once conscious, Jack had supervised his own medical treatment, and pointed out several things wrong with what Desmond had done - he tried not to sound condescending, however, and Desmond didn't take it badly.

Kate still refused to let Jack spend too long looking at her wrists, seeing as her body seemed to have fought off the infection on its own, though she did let him take a second look at the bullet-graze on her neck. He agreed with her on this count; it was only a surface wound, though neither of them wanted to think about how close it had come to slicing through her neck.

Charlie had remained adamant that the only person he had told about Jack and Kate's return was Claire, and she had promised not to tell anyone what was going on, so how the entire camp had found out was still a mystery. Jack had shrugged it off, saying he thought it was an advantage to their side that they should be so quick to work out what was going on. Shortly after it became apparent that a stream of well-wishers and curiosity seekers would be making their way to the caves, Kate had quietly asked Charlie to fetch one of her longer-sleeved shirts, to divert attention away from her injured wrists. Somehow, no-one could help but comment upon seeing them, and she was uncomfortable with the sympathetic stares.

The public opinion on Juliet's arrival was still unknown, but Jack had insisted she was a friend, and would be staying. Not ready for an argument, no-one had questioned the decision further, though it was clear a few thought that maybe Jack had lost it completely.

The only really shocking incident occured several hours after Jack woke up, however before the rest of the camp started stopping by. No-one had yet plucked up the courage to ask where Sawyer was, and Kate's mind had drifted away from the fact that soon they would ask. Jack had begun telling the group about how he had been forced to do the surgury - he conveniently left out the deal he had made with Ben, and Kate - who hadn't known exactly what the deal was in the first place - didn't mention it. Jack made sure to mention how Juliet had been nearly as much of a prisoner as he and Kate, and how she had helped them escape, even at great risk to her own life. At this point, everyone except Sayid softened to her.

"So, dudes... what happened to Sawyer?" Hurley eventually asked, when silence had fallen. Jack spared a quick glance for Kate, who was coldly staring straight ahead, looking as if she had just been slapped.

"He's dead," she said harshly, and Jack wished once again he could have been there to stop it. He noticed that Sayid had more questions about Sawyer's death, and shot him a warning look, which the soldier fortunately understood. No-one mentioned it again, and slowly the feeling of peace returned.

Hearing from Locke first hand about what had happened inside the hatch in its final hours hadn't been nearly as interesting as Jack had thought it would be. Then he asked Charlie, who gave him a slightly exaggerated but much more exciting description. The "two returning heroes" - a quote made by a man named David - and Juliet moved down to the beach as soon as Jack declared he could walk. Kate and Juliet shared a look, realising this was almost exactly what he had said out in the jungle, and that hadn't done him any good at all. There was, however, no need to hurry anywhere, and both accepted that since there was no immediate danger, he wouldn't push himself too hard.

* * *

Finding herself back in her own tent was a relief for Kate - there was an air of privacy she had sorely missed. No cameras, no-one walking in to see how she was, no-where she needed to go to feel safe. She was home, and the feeling was calming. It didn't last long.

Her first clue came when, walking down the beach two days after her return, she saw Neill reading a book she had last seen in Sawyer's hands. The second was an empty bottle of scotch discarded outside Desmond's tent. The third clue was more of an overall observation - no-one really seemed to give a shit that Sawyer was dead. By the time she plucked up the courage to actually check, she had practically convinced herself of the fact; all of Sawyer's stuff had been taken.

She entered his tent, pushing aside the tarpaulin flap and letting it close behind her, and then she stopped suddenly. She was shocked to find his scent still lingered in his shelter. Tears sprang to her eyes, and she dropped to her knees, brushing aside the sand to check the hidden stash underneath his tent - it was empty, as she had known it would be. Somehow, the fact that everyone had come in and helped themselves was sickening. For a moment, she thought she _was_ going to be sick, but then the moment passed. She began to feel a steady rage building inside of her. This, of course, explained why no-one was upset about his death; if he had returned, they would have had to deal with his outrage at finding his stash violated.

Kate stood up, blinking away the water in her eyes and forcing herself not to start rubbing up against the walls of the tent. She knew who to question first.

* * *

Jack paused, listening. He thought he could hear Kate's voice coming down the beach, which was definitely odd - he didn't think she'd ever yelled at anyone apart from him, and he's never seen her lose it in public. He noticed with a twinge of regret that several other people were looking for the source of the commotion, too, and decided to check that everything was all right.

"Gone... bad... thank God!" The last remark contained more than a hint of sarcasm, and Jack came past two final tents to find Kate arguing ferociously with Charlie.

"That makes you as bad as him, stealing off dead people!" Kate snarled, and Jack caught his breath. Seeing her yell at someone else allowed him to notice just how beautiful she looked with her hair flying, her eyes glinting, and her entire body moving with vibrant _life_. It was something he had missed. A moping Kate wasn't nearly as much of a turn on, and momentarily he found himself enjoying the drama before him - then he realised as 'returned hero', he should probably be stopping disputes.

"We didn't know he was dead!" Charlie retorted, admirably holding his own in the face of fury.

"And why was it that you didn't know he was dead? Because you were sitting here, on your lovely safe beach!"

"We were trying to think of a plan!"

"Well, maybe if you'd thought of one a little sooner, you might of been able to save his life!" A couple of people in the growing crowd shifted uncomfortably. Jack guessed at least half the camp had gathered around by now. "Oh, but really, you couldn't care less - at least he isn't here to take all his stuff back."

At this moment, Kate seemed to realise she was making a scene, and let out a deep breath; Jack wondered whether was ready to calm down, or if she was just prepping herself for Round Two. Charlie took advantage of this momentary break to back away, into the crowd, and then into the jungle. By the time Kate realised her quarry had slipped away, some of the onlookers had gathered that the show was over, and were moving away. A couple of people, noticing Jack standing at the back of the group, gave him a questioning glance - it was unclear whether they were wondering why he hadn't broken up the argument, or what he thought of it, though Jack guessed most people would be more interested in the latter.

"I think she's right," he said, technically answering both questions, and the remaining members of the audience took this as their cue to leave. Shaking her head in frustration, Kate headed back to her own tent, not giving Jack - or anyone else - a second glance.


	22. Finally Found

Quick Note

Okay, I'm now using the new Office 2007, so I'm just getting used to this system. I know, last chapter was a little short, so I hope this makes up for it. I won't say anything about this chapter, except it's the one you've all been waiting for (Including someone who wouldn't stop bugging me, trying to persuade me to write it) and OMG – the title chapter. There's one of these in every book. I didn't even KNOW I was about to write it, it just happened. I'm still not entirely satisfied with it, so I apologise in case it sucks. I had to go through editing FOUR times - new record for me. Enjoy!

**Light-stick: **Thanks for the review! Actually, you reminded me of something I'd been planning to put in the last chapter, but because I was in such a hurry, I forgot. So I'll put it in this chapter instead, though it doesn't work as well. (I'd already planned the whole scene out, it was really annoying when I realised I'd forgotten.)

* * *

**Chapter 22**

Jack was talking to Charlie, doing his best to reassure him that Kate wasn't about to kill him, or worse, give him another bout of public humiliation. Charlie couldn't help but feel guilty after Kate's tirade, even though he knew they _had_ tried, and found themselves unable to do anything.

"Dude, look, I know she and Sawyer had a... thing, but I mean, she doesn't have to go psycho!" Hurley said, and Charlie nodded in agreement. A few other people in the vicinity began listening, wondering perhaps whether the Kate and Sawyer 'thing' had gone any further before his death. Determined to dispel these thoughts, Jack butted in.

"They made her watch. When they killed him," he said slowly. For a minute, no-one spoke, or moved. Hurley looked away, feeling slightly nauseous. Jack left quickly, so that they could think about what he said without asking him anything further, but once again, he was having trouble getting the image of Kate lying in Sawyer's arms out of his head.

* * *

Jack walked down the beach towards Kate, as she sat looking out to sea. Behind him, he could hear the sounds of someone playing ping-pong. He'd never enjoyed the game, and he agreed with Kate's earlier complaint – no-one had done anything to save them. They'd stayed here on their protected beach, building ping-pong tables, of all things. He snorted; he was now close enough to Kate that she looked up at the sound.

"Nice view," he commented. She gave a small smile.

"I guess I went a little nuts earlier," she said. He returned her smile wryly, and sat down beside her. For a few moments, they waited for someone to break the silence.

"I think they were a little surprised I didn't stop you," Jack said.

"Why didn't you?"

"Because I thought you were right. I was tempted to ask – or yell – those things myself. It probably wouldn't be very diplomatic, though."

"Do you think it's true, if they'd come sooner..." Kate began hesitantly, not finishing, but Jack understood exactly what she was talking about.

"I don't know," Jack replied honestly. He wasn't sure he liked this turn of conversation, and did his best to change it.

"I was talking to Locke – did you hear what happened to the hatch?" he asked. Kate nodded.

"I was told there was nothing left." Suddenly, she smiled, and Jack felt a wave of relief. "It's a pity. I was getting used to regular showers."

"Well, on the bright side... we don't have to push that damn button anymore." Not in the mood for anything more than light hearted conversation, Kate didn't mention that not pushing the button was the reason the hatch had been destroyed.

"I was thinking..." Jack began, wondering why he suddenly felt that fluttering feeling in his stomach usually associated with nervousness. He wasn't doing anything unusual, nothing he _should_ be nervous about it. But looking at her smiling face, he felt another long-forgotten emotion swirling in his gut. "We should go out there, just check whether there's anything we could salvage."

Kate looked at him, wondering who exactly 'we' was. She guessed that the term didn't involve anyone else. And hell, she was getting bored of the beach, and all the people in it. Now that she had finally reached her safe haven, she was longing for something to happen. And if it meant several hours in Jack's company...

"Mm... on the off chance the shower survived," she replied, laughing.

"Well, it looks like it might rain, which is almost a shower," Jack commented with a glance skyward. Kate followed his gaze, her green eyes reflecting the grey patterns.

* * *

Several hours later, Kate pulled her torso out of the hole in the ground, then nimbly swung her legs up. She reached down an arm and helped Jack up.

"How come you need to help me?" he asked, joking.

"Because I'm better than you." He pretended to look hurt, and she smiled wryly. "I'm better at climbing stuff, at any rate."

"I've noticed. You have a tree house when you were a kid?" he asked, then instantly wanted to bite out his tongue. Talking about her childhood wasn't the smartest move, but for once, she didn't seem to mind. Perhaps the memory he had pulled at was one of the good ones.

"Yeah. My dad built it for me, and I'd go up there all the time. I even did my homework up there." She noticed Jack giving her an odd look. "What?" she asked, and after a moment, Jack gave a small laugh.

"It's nothing -" he began, but Kate narrowed her eyes, and he couldn't help but smile again. "I just can't see you as a little girl, doing your homework. Though the tree-house fits."

"Why not?" Kate asked, struggling not to smile herself. "Now that I think about it, I can't see you at school. Except maybe as the kid running around putting bandaids on people." A haunted look came over her face, and Jack berated himself for not realising where this talk of their childhoods would go. But he couldn't help himself.

"Did you know someone like that?" Kate turned to him, caught between anger and sorrow.

"Yeah. And then I got him killed," she said harshly, and began walking away from the remains of the hatch. There hadn't been anything left – at least, nothing recognisable – and until now, their trip into the jungle had been relaxing, away from the stares of the other survivors, with some low-level flirting and coy gestures.

Jack quickly followed her, but before he could say anything, the storm that had been threatening all day finally broke. They were both drenched within seconds; however, after living on the island for nearly three months, they were used to the sensation and it didn't bother them that much.

They ducked inside a natural shelter built from trees that had grown around each other, in an odd parody of something sensuous. The rain barely penetrated the thick leaves above them, and now, though not dry, they weren't getting any wetter. Kate seemed determined not to continue with their previous discussion, and Jack decided it would be wisest to let the topic slide.

"How long do you reckon before this stops?" she asked, having to raise her voice over the pounding water. Jack shrugged, more interested in the way the water had forced her shirt to cling to her chest, becoming practically invisible. She seemed to be thinking the same thing, only about him. She leaned close, so she didn't need to yell over the rain.

"Your shirt's all wet," she told him, her voice a mix between teasing and erotic. He looked down at her.

"So is yours," he countered, and then somehow, inexplicably, neither of them was wearing a shirt at all, wet or otherwise. They couldn't really see this, however, as they had their faces pressed against each other, their lips meeting, their tongues melding.

Kate could feel an overwhelming heat spreading over her wet skin. Her passion fuelled by emotion, she let her hands move from around Jack's face, where she was cupping it tenderly, down over his body, and then around, pulling herself to him so that her breasts were almost pressing against his chest. His hands came forward, and began fiddling with the clips on her bra.

Just feeling and kissing wasn't enough, and Kate knew that she needed this, wanted this, _now_. She reached one hand around his neck, while her other hand came down, pulling at his belt. They broke apart for a moment, gasping for air, sucking in mouthfuls of oxygen, but still determined to resume their mad entanglement. Not wanting to waste any more time, they pulled their hands back, Kate unfastening her bra and Jack pulling off his belt, and a moments eye contact proved that this was exactly what they both wanted. More than that, it was something they needed, an essential part of survival.

Now they were completely naked, and Kate pushed herself against Jack, revelling in the feeling of his arousal pressing back. Jack's hands were moving sensuously, one drawing circles around her back, keeping her pressed against him, while his other hand carefully felt over her nipples. They hardened under his touch, and Kate shuddered, an electrical current moving from her body to his hand, and then passed back to her via their exploring tongues.

There was a pause, a brief moment of time when they stopped and looked at each other. Jack couldn't help but feel a tingle of pleasure at the thought that she was with _him_; after everything that had happened to them since the crash, since he had first seen her coming out of the jungle, they were finally going to satisfy the burning hunger that had been eating away at them for so long. Jack gave himself the time to acknowledge that this wasn't just an extremely hot, sexy woman – this was Kate. Kate, with the cold appraisal of life that only he could revert to a pure smile or a laugh. Kate, who had distanced herself for so long, this moment could only be a victory. Kate, the woman he loved.

Meanwhile, Kate was berating herself for waiting so long. She had tried to tell herself that he didn't really care about her in that way, that he was just a doctor supplying some emotional healing, in an effort to stop herself from becoming involved – but if she was honest with herself, he had been responsive to every signal her traitorous body had displayed, and the only thing keeping them apart had been her fear of being hurt.

"Jack," she whispered, wanting to ask if he was going to hurt her, if she should really trust him, but it was too late. She knew that even if he told her that there would never be anything between them, that this was a mistake, she was past the point of no return. Feeling his hands on her body, his desire as keen as her own, she knew she couldn't stop right now. She opened herself, physically and emotionally, and let him in.

The first time, as they hesitantly explored the deepest depths of each other's physical, was done slowly, and as he entered, Jack noted there was no resistance. Their bodies sealed together perfectly, as if they had been sculpted as one, and then broken apart and made into two different people.

However, he stopped short, leaving Kate almost feeling cheated, and even more desperate than before. She took over, forcing the rhythm to increase, until the gasping frenzy matched the pounding of their hearts. It took a little longer before, as one, they peaked, moving together in an odd dance, with four feet but one body, joined in two places – hips and mouths. Kate couldn't help but pull away for a moment, and cry out, the sound fittingly primeval in the jungle. The rain had stopped, but neither noticed nor cared.

The kept moving, not entirely spent, but letting their final lustful desires be fulfilled as they slowly descended, to find themselves in glinting green sunlight. Panting, they stepped back, each grabbing their clothes with a little embarrassment. Kate, now wearing her underclothes, and pulling on her jeans, looked at Jack.

"Is there any reason why it took us so long to come here?" she asked, the satisfaction causing her words to come out very well enunciated, and slightly lazily.

"Humans aren't rational," he responded. The silence lengthened. "I love you," he whispered, so softly he didn't know if she could hear him. A very small part of him hoped she hadn't, though he longed to hear her respond in turn.

She stepped forward, and kissed him, though without the urgency of earlier. It was a kiss of deep feeling, of love rather than lust.

"I love you," he repeated, and she let herself gaze into his eyes. For her, looking straight at him was hard; the only times she usually did it was when she was lying to him. But she wanted him to know that she meant this, that it was the only thing she would never lie about, she could never lie about.

"I love you, too," she replied softly. "I just wasn't letting myself see it." Fully dressed, they began the walk back to camp.

"I guess I was concentrating too hard on the past. I wasn't letting myself look at what was right in front of me," she said, mostly to herself, still trying to rationalise waiting.

"'I once was blind, but now I see,'" Jack quoted. Kate smiled.

"Yeah. Something like that. I was too lost in all the bad things that have happened to me... You found me. No-one else, not even other people I've loved... and lost... could do that. None of them could make me look forward."

"'Once was lost, but now am found,'" Jack added, and Kate rolled her eyes.

"Sure. Let's get back, before someone thinks we're missing." As Kate began walking in a direction Jack could only trust was the way back, she felt herself loosen. An invisible burden that she had carried for so long had finally been lifted away from her, all because of Jack. For the first time in her life, she felt as though everything was, and would continue to be, alright. Safe.


	23. Given and Taken

Quick Note

Okay, if you know anything about me by now, you must recognise that if a character believes they are safe and that everything is all right, they most definitely are not, and it most definitely is not. Glad someone enjoyed last chapter – I was under the impression that I finally had a chapter that would get some generous reviews. But alas...

Damn... this chapter took AGES. I know where I want to go – I was just a little unsure of how to get there. Sorry. But yeah... exams and all... I'm trying my best. If you're sticking with me, thanks for the show of confidence.

* * *

**Chapter Twenty-three**

Her face flushed with pleasure about what had just had occurred, Kate led the way back to the beach. Every few minutes, she would glance back at Jack, and pretend not to notice he was watching her body as she walked. He would smile, also pretending, trying to convince her that he hadn't been; it was a game, purely for fun. While playing, there was nothing remaining of that time of fear and loss they had only recently escaped from.

Shortly before they reached the camp again, Kate paused, and let Jack catch up enough so that they were walking side by side.

"I need to ask you something," she began, and he nodded, indicating her to go on. "Can we... not let anyone know yet? About... us?" He frowned, and looked at her.

"Why not? I mean, if you don't want to, that's fine..." He saw her swallow, and stopped.

"Well, I just... I hate everyone knowing things about me. They'll know, soon enough, just not yet. After having that huge outburst about Sawyer, it would be kind of... I don't know. But can't you see how that looks?"

Jack nodded. "Okay. We won't tell anyone, until we both want to." Jack had long since grown accustomed to Kate as his 'girlfriend' – not because anything was going on, but because everyone else considered it like that. For months now, people like Hurley had referred to 'Jack's girlfriend'. On the other hand, those same people made remarks about 'Sawyer's girlfriend'. By this time, Jack was thoroughly sick of the term. It sounded... young. Teenagers had girlfriends. Maybe 'partner' was more adult.

Giving up on this line of thought, Jack dropped back a little, so he could resume his innocent study of Kate's determined and incredibly sexy walk.

* * *

The days and weeks passed. Slowly, Kate and Jack began to fall into their old routines, though Kate rarely went into the jungle alone – and if she did, it wasn't very far. She spent a lot of time with Sun, helping in the Korean woman's garden, and she felt like she finally had a friend. She'd always been able to talk freely with Sun – at first, because she thought it didn't matter what she said, Sun wouldn't understand her; and later, it was because Sun was one of the only people who had remained completely unchanged in their opinion of Kate after learning she was a dangerous fugitive.

Juliet still didn't have a high level of trust, but the survivors had agreed that since she had obviously helped Jack and Kate escape, and she didn't seem too bad, they didn't have to worry about her – much. She spent most of her time alone, staying out of everyone's way, and they all seemed to agree with this plan. Sayid spent a lot of his time watching her from a distance, determined to catch her slipping up. He was intent on finding evidence against her – he seemed to believe wholeheartedly that there was some – and it was this obsession that stopped him seeing how oddly Jack was behaving him.

Jack had by no means forgotten giving Sun's name to Ben – nor the warning Juliet had given him a few days ago, that if Sun didn't take the cure they had discovered, she would die in a few months. She had had the insight to pack all her supplies of the new drug into her pack when they left, but Jack hadn't come around to telling Sun about the problem. Seeing the Korean woman's glowing face whenever she and Jin were talking about their baby – albeit their conversations were in Korean, Jin's hand on Sun's stomach usually gave away the topic – made Jack reluctant to intrude upon their happiness.

Meanwhile, his relationship with Kate was blooming; ever since that day in the jungle, she had become a little lazier. She wasn't as restless, didn't seem as eager to go exploring in the jungle, and was more content to communicate. She spent most nights in her own tent, though sometimes, completely unexpectedly, she would turn up at his in the middle of the night. He never complained about it, or asked for any reason. He guessed her reluctance to tell people about 'them' was a result of her need to be independent, and the small bit of her mistrustful nature she would never be able to destroy. Jack knew not to take it personally.

* * *

"Hey. What's up?" Kate asked, standing outside Jack's tent. He was rummaging through one of his suitcases. She remembered the day, about two weeks after the crash, he had found this particular one sitting completely undamaged in the middle of the jungle. The memory made her smile, but for once, Jack didn't return it.

"I'm looking for something," he muttered, his attention not wavering from the open case as he threw several shirts away from him.

"Thanks, Einstein. I figured that much out. You want to tell me what you're looking for?"

"Why do you want to know?" he asked, a little snappishly. She frowned.

"Hey, calm down. Just interested in what's so important you would be driving you only clean clothes into the sand." Not in the mood for a full-scale argument, Kate turned and walked back down the beach before he could respond. Biting his lip, Jack knew that when he finally found it, she'd understand.

* * *

He found her digging up seeds in the jungle an hour later. He couldn't help but pause, watching her. He told himself it was so he could detect whether her mood had softened. It appeared that it had, because she was smiling as she pulled a small handful of dirt. At first he thought she hadn't seen him, but then she spoke.

"You skills at hiding in the bushes haven't improved, you know." He gave a smile, coming towards her.

"You still mad?" he asked. She turned, her expression guarded. Jack managed to look reasonably contrite, so she finally smiled.

"Guess not." He leaned down, and kissed her – a while ago, this sort of move would have been a surprise, and not really acceptable for 'just friends'. But now she let herself melt towards him, noticing that every time she kissed him, it was different, in a strange and subtle way. She promised herself that one day, she would find out why; but not just yet. For now, she liked the feeling of newness and the promise it held.

When he finally broke away, she tried to follow, and he grabbed her hand, pulling her to her feet.

"Hey!" she complained. "I was digging there!" He smiled.

"Dig this." And once more, his mouth captured hers, and she felt herself grow slightly weak on her feet. Refusing to let him distract her so easily, she was first to break away this time, though he didn't miss the obvious reluctance she was feeling.

"So, more slimy gross things?" he asked, and she shook her head.

"Well, these ones are actually dry and hard. I don't know what grows from them – I need to ask Sun."

"So when will you be back to the beach?" he asked, leaning closer. Feeling her body drawn towards his as if pulled by a magnet, she forced herself to stop.

"Soon enough. It'll be dark soon, and I promised Sun I would find some more of these – I told her about them, but my description wasn't enough, so I said I'd find some to show her." She noticed his attention drifting slightly, the same way hers did whenever he started talking in medical terms. "So was there any other reason you were out here, other than to watch me dig up seeds?"

"Well, yes..." he paused, embarrassed. She looked at him curiously, and he realised he loved the way she did that – he loved how her face lit up at the prospect of uncovering another mystery. God he loved her. So it was time to prove it.

"Earlier, I was looking for this," he said, reaching into his pocket. "For you," he said as he held his hand out towards her. Carefully, Kate let his hand touch hers, and tip something cool into it. Intrigued, she opened her hand.

It was a bracelet. A simple gold band, decorated with swirls. Simple, yet beautiful. Kate looked up at Jack, unable to stop tears swelling in her eyes. He leaned forward, concerned, before realising they were 'happy' tears – a woman thing he had long observed but never been able to fathom.

"Thankyou," Kate whispered, struggling to express the gratitude that was threatening to overwhelm her. Not since she had married Kevin had she received something so perfect from someone who had meant so much to her. And a new thought thrilled her; here, on the island, Jack was for keeps. She wouldn't have to run.

Jack was instantly forgiven for his earlier snappishness – she understood now that he hadn't wanted to spoil the surprise.

* * *

Jack greeted everyone in the camp with a smile and nod as he walked past, and more than a few commented on his good mood. A few days ago, he'd found himself wishing he could give Kate something; and since he had never seen her in jewellery, he'd liked the idea of the small bracelet he had found at the caves the first time he was there. He'd forgotten all about it – and considering the events that followed, it wasn't surprising – but yesterday he had remembered it. This morning, it had taken him the better part of an hour to find it, hidden inside one of his socks. He had initially put it there to stop it getting damaged, and because the sock no longer had a partner and he hadn't wanted to throw away anything that remained of their old life.

It could only have been ten minutes since he had come back to the beach, Kate promising with a smile she would come past later that night, and yet there was already a problem. Shouting, down the beach, and it wasn't happy shouting. Jack sighed – this happened every few days, usually a feud that needed a few sharp words to send the trouble-makers to sort things out quietly, but Jack was still wishing he could cut it down to only once a week.

It wasn't until he was closer to the group, he noticed there was only one person shouting, and the obvious difference was that he was yelling in Korean. As soon as the crowd saw Jack, they turned, waiting for him to do something; maybe magically learn another language and converse calmly with Jin.

Jin also saw Jack, and he ran forward, desperation and fear obvious even though no-one knew exactly what he was saying. Realising his lack of communication, Jin reverted to broken English.

"Sun!" he yelled, and Jack nodded, to show that he was listening. "Others! Sun! Others..." Jin searched desperately for a word, one to express the spinning feeling in Jack's gut. "Others take Sun!" he finally managed. Jack reached forward, grabbing Jin's arm, stopping the rapid, twitching movements.

"Jin, look at me. Now, I know this is hard, but you have to try and tell me, what happened?" The tone of voice was more important that the words and Jin caught on.

"Sun... garden. Ground -" he experimented, pointing at the sand. Jack nodded. Everyone around them had gone quiet. A few were shooting dagger glares at Juliet, who had just arrived, and was now looking at Jack in confusion. Jin continued. "Ground..." Here he used his foot to kick up some sand, and Jack understood. Signs of a scuffle. "Sun gone... blood!" he yelled the last word, as another thought rammed itself into Jack with such force he thought he was going to pass out.

He took off, heading for Sun's garden. Hurley, Jin, Sayid, and Juliet followed him, while Locke kept everyone else calm. The last thing they needed was for all out panic, or for everyone to go marching on a warpath into the jungle.

When he reached the rows of planted seeds and sprouting plants, Jack stopped. He could instantly see what had happened. In one patch, presumably where Sun had been working at the time, the ground was pulled up, the soil scattered all over. Several plants had been ripped out of the ground. There was even a dark red stain on the ground, that Jack was certain was blood. But that wasn't the worst part.

A stick had been pushed perpendicularly into the ground, and off the top of it hung Sun's wedding ring. On the dirt next to it was an arrow pointing to the north. He dropped to his knees.

"That's like... her wedding ring," Hurley commented. "But where'd the bracelet come from?" Jack felt as if his inner organs were being sent through a paper shredder.

"It's Kate's," he whispered, and at the mention of her name, the air stilled. On the ground in front of him, the bracelet was hooked over another branch, with an arrow pointing south. The message was clear – which one do you go after? They didn't have the manpower or the weaponry to go after both.

Between the two arrows, facing away from each other, there was a final glimmer, the sun set, and then darkness descended upon the group.


	24. Give Up Your Love

Quick Note

Yay! Lots of reviews! I'm glad you didn't see that coming, guys... that was the idea. This chapter was much easier. I started straight away, and it's _really_ short... but it doesn't fit with the next chapter, and it means I can get it to you really quick. Enjoy!

**Chapter Twenty-Four**

Jack sat in front of the fire, his shoulders hunched. Once it became clear that Sun wasn't the only one missing, Sayid had taken over. Jack had barely been able to walk back to the beach, the whole time pretending the only reason he was stumbling was because of the darkness.

He felt hollow. Taking Sun was bad enough. But Kate... again... he shook his head. What to do? If he wanted to see her again... he would have to start leading. He felt Sayid coming up behind him, and he straightened his shoulders. After their journey through a paper shredder, his insides had come back burning. Whatever he felt, in this moment, he would not let his people down. He would be strong. Because that's what Kate would want.

"What do we have?" Jack asked, without turning around.

"Two guns. Not much ammo left." Jack sighed. To send two groups out would mean only one gun for each. Even one group with two guns was practically suicidal. "What do we do?" Sayid asked. Jack felt a peace settle over him – somehow, he knew.

"You and Jin take the guns. Go after Sun," he started. He knew Sayid was about to protest, but he held up a hand. "Go as fast as you can. Head north, try and catch them before they get wherever they're going. If they reach one of their safe zones, there isn't a hope."

"You're going after Kate?" Sayid asked, though he knew the answer already. Jack stood up.

"Don't try and talk me out of it."

"You're going after Kate, unarmed. And you don't know where you're going."

"I know to go south," he said, ignoring the first part of Sayid's statement. "They'll be leaving clues, anyway."

"What makes you so sure?" Sayid asked, wondering if Jack knew something he didn't.

"They don't want her. They want me," Jack said, though he didn't complete the sentence. _They want me dead_. The only thought that could keep him going was the belief that Kate was still alive. It had been over an hour already. Probably two. Maybe three. He wasn't sure.

"So you're going to wrap yourself up in Christmas paper and walk right over to their doorstep? They won't give her back, Jack."

"I'll make them."

"How?"

For the first time, Jack didn't have an answer. What was worst, Sayid knew he didn't, and wasn't about to drop it.

* * *

"What do they want with Sun?" one person called, and Juliet swallowed.

"It's the baby. They want the baby," she said, trying her best to keep the growling crowd satisfied. They were angry, they wanted revenge for the attack just launched on them, and right here was someone who represented the enemy.

"And why Kate? Didn't you already get whatever you needed from her?" someone else asked, and there was a general murmur of agreement. They were moving like a pack, one voice saying what was on everyone's minds, while the rest waited for blood.

"I don't know why they did that... She must have been in the wrong place, wrong time. And it makes it harder to go after Sun."

Juliet was certain they hadn't been planning to take Kate again – wrong place, wrong time. But it was a good thing for them. They knew Jack wouldn't be able to choose one woman to follow; he would want both back, and that was why he wouldn't be able to save either.

Carefully extracting herself, Juliet went to find Jack.

* * *

"One or neither, Jack. You can't –"

"Don't tell me I can't!" he shouted. The stress was getting to him. Juliet was impressed he had been able to send all their gun-power after Sun, leaving no-one but him to rescue Kate.

"You'll be killed!" she yelled into his face, close enough that he could smell her breath. "Please Jack. You need to think about this!"

"I have thought about it."

"Then if you're still insisting on going, you're an idiot."

Jack stared at her, agape. Her eyes were burning with fury, trying to make him see what he was doing, and for a moment, he wavered. Could he really do this? Did he want to die? He knew that if he followed Kate he would, but he also knew that if that's what it took, he was willing to give it. To save her.

She'd been through so much. It was too much for one person to handle. He loved her, he loved her, he loved her. There was no way he would sit back and let her suffer. She didn't deserve it.

"I didn't only just make this choice, Juliet," he said, turning away from her. She grabbed his arm, and pulled him back to face her. He swallowed. "I made it a long time ago... when I didn't get on that submarine." She blinked.

"Okay," she said. He started to walk away, and tears filled her eyes. She knew where his heart truly lay – and it meant that she would never have it. She rushed forward, and hugged him, wrapping her arms around his neck. A little longer than friends would, but not long enough for him to see just how much he had hurt her.

"Be safe, Jack," she said at last, pulling away, blinking away the tears before he could see them. "And bring her back."

The only thing that could keep her going now was him; even if he wasn't looking at her when he smiled, she needed him to be smiling. Because she loved him, she didn't want to hurt him; and if she made him stay, he wouldn't only be hurt – he would hate her.


	25. In the Doorway

Quick note

Okay, sorry for the slow update – I really am not being very good to you guys anymore. At least it's a long one. Enjoy! Or not, if you like Kate...

* * *

**Chapter Twenty Five**

Kate felt herself rising towards consciousness. She couldn't remember where she was, or what was happening. Last thing she could remember... being in Sun's garden, showing her the bracelet. Then... nothing. Anything that involved her suddenly becoming unconscious couldn't be good, could it? No.

There was a bright light. She tried to focus, blinking rapidly. Her head ached. There was a background noise she thought might have been people talking, but she wasn't sure. Then something blocked out the light, and her mind closed off again.

* * *

Her arms were tied behind her – around something, she thought. Her head was clearer this time. She could distinguish between the voices now, and she tried to guess how many there were. Whatever was happening, it definitely fell under the category of not good.

She twitched her wrists a little, to test the strength of the rope – too strong. She didn't move any more than that, trying to play dead – or unconscious, at any rate.

"Well, I think they'll sort it out," one of the voices said.

"Nah, they've been coming closer to this for years. There aint no quick fix," another said. The same voice then laughed.

"Jeeze, Gus. It's You don't have to sound so hopeful." A third voice.

"Aw, I dunno... Michaela's been sending me these pretty little glances..."

Kate suddenly realised what she was listening to. Camp gossip. Maybe she should move, let them know she was awake. Then maybe they would answer her questions. Sitting here, apparently tied to a pole (as far as she could tell without looking), wasn't going to help.

Strangely, she didn't feel very afraid. Maybe it was the fact that her eyes were closed. As long as she didn't look, if she kept small and quiet and couldn't see anyone else, there was a chance they couldn't see her. That idea was complete rubbish, of course, but some instinct had kept her still, and now stopped her from doing anything to alert the men around her. As far as she could tell, there were only three of them.

"Hey, even that one has a nice piece of arse on her," Gus added, and Kate realised he was talking about _her_. More indignant that fearful, she waited, seeing if this would lead them into a new area of conversation.

"How long, do you think?" the first voice asked again. Kate had time to think, _how long until what?_ before a fourth voice spoke. She recognised it, and felt her gut clench. _This can't be good_.

"I'm here," said Ben, and Kate heard footsteps as he entered. The other three quickly jumped off their chairs, the sound of leg scraping against floor echoing around the room. _Empty room_, Kate noted.

"Is she awake?" Ben asked. Kate tried very hard to look asleep.

"No," came the reply. There was a pause. Kate felt her heart beating so fast she thought it was about to jump out her chest and take its chances without her.

"Yes, she is," Ben corrected after a moment. Not able to help herself, Kate's eyes flew open. He was right in front of her, close enough that she could feel his breath. "Hey Kate."

Wanting to spit on him, but finding her mouth completely dry, Kate didn't say anything. Somehow, with Ben here, things had gone from worse to deadly. He gave her a smile, seemingly polite, but it sent chills running down her spine. Then he turned away.

"I got it," he said to the other three, and they left, one with a shake of the head. Kate suddenly realised she didn't want them gone. She didn't want to be alone. Her only move to vent her frustration was to twist her wrists again, harder, more desperately. The rope started chafing, straight through the old scars, but she didn't make a sound. She wouldn't give him that satisfaction. Finally, beaten, she stopped struggling. There hadn't been even the tiniest give of the rope.

"Done?" Ben asked, and Kate glared at him, summoning every bit of scorn she could, and filling one look with it.

"What do you want?" she asked, though a few choice swear words were also tempting. Right now, she didn't want to aggravate him too much. She was scared, but she fought it down, determined not to let him see it. Instead, she let her anger consume her.

Here was the man who had captured them, locked them up... allowed Sawyer to be killed... made her doubt Jack... and had been happy to use her multiple times to make Jack bend to his will.

"Well, I don't actually want anything from _you_, Kate. You're just the means to the end. Don't take it personally."

"I think I will, actually," she snapped, wishing she could untie herself and squeeze the life out of him herself.

"Oh well. It won't matter, soon enough," Ben said offhandedly, moving over to one of the vacated chairs and sitting down. He slung his legs up over a second chair, and pulled out a book. Kate, meanwhile, was trying to comprehend what he had just said. It didn't sound good. As a matter of fact, it was probably the most not-good thing he could have said.

"What does that mean?" she asked, her chest squeezing. It took Ben a few moments to answer. His cold empty eyes met her wide scared one.

"I'm sorry, Kate. Nothing personal."

She almost stopped breathing. _No_, she thought.

* * *

"Are you going to kill me?" Kate asked the vast silence. Ben didn't look up. "Talk to me!" she yelled. She needed to hear him say it. Until he did, she could keep that small flame of hope burning. She didn't want it burning for nothing, though.

"Please," she whispered, hating how weak she sounded. Finally, though, Ben was looking at her.

"Yes, Kate," he said bluntly. She closed her eyes, trying to block out the odd look of sympathy he was sending her. _Nothing personal_. "But not yet," Ben added, seemingly trying to give her some sort of comfort. She didn't want it, and turned her head away – as far as she could get from his pitiful look.

She took the time to look around the room. Any chance of escape. Anything to distract him. The three chairs, two of which Ben was using. One door. No windows. She tried to guess what this room would normally be used for. To her left was a large red... thing. It took her a few minutes to work out it must once have been a boiler room. The chairs on her right. The door right in front of her. If she could untie herself, she would be able to run out it before Ben could get up. Avoid anyone in other parts of the building, somehow find an exit, work out where in the jungle they were, and run like hell towards safety.

Kate only just stopped herself from sobbing out loud. The only part of that plan that could work was the running. And she would never be able to get that far.

"Why?" she asked, and Ben looked up from his book. _Keep him talking_, she instructed herself. If she could manipulate people into helping her rob a bank, she could talk this guy out of killing her.

"Well, if you really want to know, it's got nothing to do with you. When you escaped before -" Ben paused for a second to scowl at thin air. "Let's just say there were more than a few who thought I was losing my edge. They never liked the idea of bringing you and Jack there in the first place. But I said it would be all right. I promised them I knew what I was doing.

"You three really blew that idea out the window. So now, Jack has one up on me. And while things remain like that, there's a lot of talk, about whether someone should replace me." Kate was beginning to understand.

"You need to prove to them you still have what it takes," she filled in. He nodded. "By killing me? That's the sign of a real leader. You can kill a woman while she's tied up." Kate should have recognised at that moment that she'd gone too far. "I have to say, that takes real guts –"

He hit her. Hard, across the face. She gasped, more at the shock than the pain. She'd never seen him get up. But now, she was rallying. Her previous plan of talking him out of it didn't seem as appealing as hurting him, with her words if nothing else.

"See? You're just proving what I said. You're a coward." This time, he didn't just slap her – he punched her. She felt the impact, and tried to assess how bad it was. She had become totally objectified. This wasn't her body. This wasn't happening to her. The woman's nose was broken, Kate could tell. There was blood dripping down her face, and she couldn't stop it dripping into her mouth because her hands were tied behind a pole; one of the old gas pipes. Kate watched it all, as the poor woman spat the blood out of her mouth, at the man, only for him to punch her again. This wasn't her anymore. She didn't feel it when he hit the woman in front of her. She knew that the woman was in pain, that her body would be doing it's best to remain standing, but Kate knew it was a futile struggle, as he hit her again, and she only smiled.

Realising his abuse wasn't going to break her, Ben reached forward, and clenched one hand around her neck, immediately cutting off her air supply.

"You're going to kill me?" Kate saw herself ask. "I think we're at the point where death threats don't mean much." Ben suddenly seemed to realise this, for he let her go. She thought for a moment that she had won. Screw it – she was going to die. But by God, she'd go out fighting. Ben took a deep breath.

"Actually, Kate, you didn't let me finish," Ben said, trying to keep his voice calm. "Like I said, it's not about you. You're going to die whatever, right? But see, the one I really want to hurt, is Jack."

"It was Juliet's plan," Kate said, though her voice lacked conviction. She would swing the blame onto Juliet, if she could. _Don't hurt Jack_, she thought.

"Juliet was more interested in following Jack than helping us. I'll get her later. Now, my current plan doesn't actually involve Jack dying. Just you. Now, piss me off any more, and I can change it pretty fast."

Kate's breath caught in her throat. She wouldn't let Jack die for her. Too many people already had. Everywhere she went, she seemed to leave behind a trail of dead bodies. People who she had wanted dead, people who had wanted her dead, the good people who were only trying to help her. She wouldn't let Jack be added to that list. He was the best of the good – everything she wasn't. How could she have believed she could have him? How could she have thought she deserved him? That she would be allowed to keep him?

Ben had resumed reading his book, and Kate gave up trying to antagonise him. In fact, she gave up totally. It was probably about time someone killed her. She'd had too many chances. Too many people had died because of her; she'd never offered them mercy, so why should it be offered to her?

* * *

Ben had laid two rectangular, black boxes on the vacant chair, and every so minutes, would glance over. Kate had no idea what they were, and didn't really care. Kate kept watching the boxes, wondering what they were for. Maybe they were some sort of timer? She remembered Ben's words with a chill – _not yet_. Maybe it was nearly time. She shivered, and goose bumps sprang up over her arms.

She realised it must be growing late. She'd been awake now for a few hours. How long since she had been captured? Long enough for someone to realise she was missing? Hell; she'd been drugged – it could have been a day or a week.

It was Kate who noticed the flashing orange light on one of the boxes first. Guessing her imminent death had something to do with that light, she didn't say anything. It only took another few minutes for Ben to notice, however, and when he did, he jumped up, his attention turning to her.

She had one last shot – something that had pulled her out of many bad situations in the past. For a moment, Ben's eyes met hers, and she gave him the most pitiful, pleading look she could. For a second, he seemed caught, and something like victory must have shown itself in her eyes, for he suddenly broke eye contact, and came closer. As he did so, he pulled out a gun.

"Right, Kate. Anything you'd like to say?" he asked, and the look she gave him this time was one of pure loathing. Every time something seemed to be going right, someone had to rip it away again. And even if she had argued with herself that she deserved it, she didn't want to die. She had never wanted to die. Especially not like this.

"Ah, of course, you don't want to say anything to me. Well, I'll tell you something. In about two minute, lover-boy Jack is going to walk through that door, gun drawn, ready for action – and you have three seconds. See? I'm nice. Three seconds to tell him whatever you need to." Kate stared at him like he was crazy, especially after his self-declaration of being 'nice'. He shrugged. "You know, an 'I love you', or, 'I hate you', whatever you feel like."

"How do you know?" Kate asked, her heart thudding painfully in her chest. A bullet seemed such an awful way to go. So... sudden. No light at the end of a tunnel, no sweet visions of loved ones coming closer... just gone.

"Well, you see that there?" Ben said, indicating the two black boxes on the chair. The second one had begun to flash orange as well now. "We set up a security barrier around this building. My people have been given strict instructions not to come in or out – so now that it has been broken, I know that Jack's on his way. The second one means he's inside. So I'd give it... twenty seconds."

Kate felt her chest squeeze again, and she couldn't help her eyes watering. Once again, without hope she tried pulling the rope. It didn't budge. God, she had the luck to be tied up by a boy-scout.

"How do you know it will be Jack?" she asked.

"He won't be able to help himself."

Kate heard it at the same time Ben did – a footfall outside. Then a figure appeared in the doorway.

"No," Ben whispered. "No..."


	26. He Would Have Come

Quick Note

Big thankyou to all of you still reading – we are approaching the end. In fact... one more chapter, not including this one. This and the next one are both really short, but they didn't work as a single chapter, so I left them apart. And if anyone is wondering, I doubt there will be a sequel. Enjoy!

* * *

**Chapter 25**

Ben didn't move. He could only stare. This wasn't possible – had he miscalculated? Impossible – but then... Jack should be here. What?

"Hello again," said Sayid.

* * *

"And then he said, 'Tell him we've gone after Kate'," Juliet repeated, at the same time pushing Jack's hand back to his head, to hold the cloth steady. "Hell, these guys know how to knock someone out," she added, when she realised the cut on Jack's head was still bleeding. 

"Are you sure that's all?" Jack asked. "Damn them!"

Just before Jack had been about to leave the beach, he'd lost consciousness. That was all he remember when he woke up to Juliet's wide eyes several hours later. It had already started growing dark again. She had informed him that Sayid had knocked him out, taken Locke, and gone after Kate himself. Jin and Desmond had gone after Sun, both taking the guns. Jack took some comfort knowing Locke was a dead aim with those knives.

Juliet, meanwhile, had been standing by Jack's side almost constantly. Close enough that he felt rather restricted.

"You think I'm suddenly going to make a break for it, head into the jungle?" he asked testily.

"Yes," she said, and the finality of the statement made him realise that plan wasn't going to work. He sighed, and Juliet smirked. "Sayid will get her back," she reassured him.

"And if he can't? What if she's hurt? What if she's already dead?!" Jack yelled the last part, and Juliet reached out a hand. Feeling her touch on his shoulder, he turned to her.

"Don't think like that. She'll be fine."

"You said Ben wants to hurt me. Nothing could hurt me more than him killing Kate."

"He'll be expecting you to be there, though. He'd wait until you got there before hurting her. So, technically, she's safer if you stay away."

Jack couldn't argue with Juliet's logic, and that made him want to argue even more. He stalked off down the beach, and even though she watched, she kept her distance. He felt useless. All he could do was sit on the beach and pray – something he had never done it his life. He didn't know who to ask, or what to say, so instead just let himself whisper her name to the heavens, in the hope that someone would care.

* * *

There was a pause as everyone looked around, cataloguing everyone else. Sayid stepped through the doorway, leaving Locke in direct line of sight with Kate. Ben kept his eyes on Sayid, not seeing the knife Locke was holding. Before Ben could remember his previous plan, and shoot, Kate swung her around and head-butted him. 

He staggered back, one hand flying to his nose, and she almost smiled with the satisfaction. Locke took advantage of Ben no longer pointing the gun at Kate, and sent the knife flying towards his chest. It hit with a sickening sound; a smooth, slick, wet sound, as it dug through his ribs and pierced his heart. He fell back, dead instantly, and hit the floor with a soft thud.

Kate turned her head away. Yet another life that had been lost to save hers.

"Are you all right?" Sayid asked her, at the same time, coming around to untie her.

"Yeah. I'm fine," Kate replied, though she didn't dare ask where Jack was; surely Ben had been right, assuming Jack wouldn't be able to stay away. Not of his own free will, at any rate. She noticed Locke looking at Ben's dead body with an odd expression. Almost conflicted.

"What?" she asked, as the ropes finally came free and she could step away from the pole. Locke turned to her.

"When we had him in the hatch... I thought he was alright. I thought we could trust him. If I hadn't been so easy to deceive, maybe..."

"Don't think like that," Kate said, cutting him off. "I'm okay."

"I wasn't thinking just about you. You were right, before, when you said that if we'd tried harder to find you, Sawyer might not have died." Kate looked down for a moment.

"I didn't mean all that. I was just... frustrated. There was nothing you could have done. You had to protect everyone else, anyway." Locke nodded, seeming slightly relieved. She wondered how long he'd been stressing over this.

"What was he planning?" Sayid asked Kate, as he pulled the knife out of Ben's chest, looking rather satisfied with his death. Kate tried not to look at the body, or the very minimal amount of blood spilling out.

"I don't know," she lied. Somehow, telling them he'd been about to kill her felt too awkward. What could they do? "Can we go home now?"

Locke smiled. "Yeah. Before Jack comes after us."

"Where is he?" Kate asked feverishly. Her eyes flicked to Sayid then back to Locke, trying to tell if it was bad news.

"I didn't think it would be a good idea for him to come after you, alone. Which was what he was about to do," Sayid said.

"You convinced him to stay back?" Kate asked in surprise. _Please let him be okay_, she thought.

"In a way," Locke said cryptically. Kate shook her head.

"You tied him up, didn't you?" she guessed.

"Nah. Just knocked him out." This wasn't exactly reassuring for Kate.

"He's okay, isn't he?" she asked nervously.

"Yes, he's fine. Probably worried about you, so we should get back." Kate suddenly had a thought.

"Aren't the rest of his people outside?" she asked, nodding at where Ben lay on the floor. On death, his heart had stopped immediately, so there hadn't been much blood spilt. It was disturbing; it looked as if he was just sleeping, until you went closer and saw the vacant expression on his open eyes, still somewhat surprised, and saw the ragged hole in his chest.

"We dealt with them already," Sayid said, before leading the way out.

_I'm coming Jack. Don't worry, I'm coming._ All Kate wanted was to find Jack, throw herself at him, and kiss him until she couldn't breathe. She didn't know if she would want to let go even then.


	27. I Do

Quick note that might not be so quick

Okay guys and girls, ladies and gentlemen, and any hobos that are reading... this is it. And I think this has to be my first story with a happy ending (usually once I get bored of writing, I just start killing off characters). I'm so glad that people have actually been reading this and reviewing – though not as much reading or reviewing as I'd love, this was my first fic, so I'll be gracious. I won't embarrass my frequent reviewers by telling everyone who they are, but guys, you know I love you, right? Those simple words you give me made it all worthwhile.

I've actually been kind of anxious to finish this over the past week, so you're lucky I didn't just kill everyone. It would have been possible. But anyway... no. There is no sequel. I mean... after this chapter (I won't spoil it) there isn't really anywhere I want to go with it.

I am, however, planning on another fic – it's a Skate one, so most of you reading this for the Jate goodness probably won't want to look in. I'm hoping it will be better than this – I think I really ruined parts of it. But I think my writing has improved, which I'm thankful for. One day, I may go through the whole thing and edit over, and then repost. One day.

So, I part for the last chapter, with the simple word: Enjoy! (And yes, for my next fic, I will come up with a better catch-phrase – and chapter titles!)

* * *

**Chapter Twenty-Seven** – aka, the finale

Jack sat on the beach, staring out to sea. This was where Kate had first offered to tell him about her past, and he'd refused. Mistake.

He remembered the time he'd pressured her into telling him what the toy aeroplane from the Marshall's case meant. He still didn't have that story, and now, probably never would. Mistake.

Or the time she thought he'd been mad at her for kissing him in the jungle. How untrue – he'd been mad at her for running off afterwards. He wished he'd told her that. Mistake.

He'd lied about the dynamite in her pack, on their way to open the hatch. He didn't consider that a mistake. He didn't like the way she consistently put her life in danger. Still, she'd been mad at him for a few hours. That had hurt.

He remembered the way she used to smile whenever she achieved something, whether it was successfully tracking him through the jungle and coming up behind him without his noticing – God, she'd been doing that so much over the past few weeks, he was becoming slightly paranoid – or whether it was just finding a new tree, full of ripe fruit, ready to be plucked.

God, he missed that smile. It had been one day, two nights, since she'd gone missing, and he already felt that he was going to crumble into pieces. He could picture the wind sweeping the ashes into the sea.

He remembered every single time he'd lied to her. Too many times. Too many mistakes.

Her beautiful smile when he gave her the bracelet. It was in his hands now. It had seemed to mean so much to her. How could he just sit here? He needed to be out there, looking for her. He knew why he wasn't. He was scared of what he was likely to find. But still, he didn't want to have to face Sayid and Locke coming back empty handed.

A few hours ago, Jin and Desmond had come out of the jungle, Sun's unconscious body carried by her husband. Jack hadn't forgotten his desperation for Kate, but he had put it aside, and checked Sun. He had also had to bandage a bullet graze on Desmond's arm. There had been a brief fight, and though outnumbered, the two had won. Sun had been drugged the whole time, and was very woozy when she woke up. She had no recollection of anything happening, except a 'bad feeling' whenever she tried to remember.

Jack couldn't help but worry further. Sun was safe. His betrayal had not caused any lasting damage. But it hadn't taken too long for Desmond to follow the trail her captors had left – surely Sayid, an experienced soldier, and Locke, the camp's best hunter, shouldn't have had any trouble finding her.

Jack couldn't help but think she was dead. It was easier to grieve than to keep false hope alive. He could already picture Sayid's face; shaking his head sadly, doing his best to break it to Jack gently. Locke, standing a little further back, or perhaps telling everyone else. And Jack knew that once he was told the bad news, once he knew for certain she was dead, he would no longer be able to live. His body would survive, but his soul would die. Because he'd given it to her.

He'd given his whole heart to her, and she to him. He wondered if she was scared. If she had thought of him. If she blamed him for not coming. If she would ever come back to him. If, when he died, he would see her again.

He'd fallen in love with her. It was the biggest mistake of his life, and yet if he had to, he would do it all over again.

* * *

He was tired, and hungry, but he didn't leave his lone sentry on the beach. Maybe Sayid and Locke wouldn't be coming back either. Maybe they were dead, too. Jack had promised himself he wouldn't cry. Not until he knew for sure. The pain was eating away at him, from the inside out. He felt like he'd swallowed acid.

Day turned into afternoon. Juliet was still watching, but she left him alone. There was nothing she could say to comfort him. While he stared out to sea, she kept an eye on the tree line. At any second, they could emerge, healthy, alive, safe... but it didn't happen this second. Or the next. Or the next...

* * *

Jack turned around. There was a commotion further up the beach. Hardly daring to hope, he stood, and made his way towards it. It probably wasn't them... just someone else in a fight, needing someone to snap them back to reality. He wasn't sure if he could deal with it right now.

Even when he saw Sayid and Locke, he wouldn't let himself believe. It was bad news... so why were they smiling? He was almost level with them, and then the gathered crowd broke apart, and Kate was running towards him.

Stumbling slightly, Jack moved forwards. He was acutely aware of his heartbeat in his ears, and he could feel the strong ocean wind on his face. Maybe it was the cold slap of salt wind that was causing his eyes to water. Or maybe it was Kate, only a few steps away from him...

He leaned forward, as she covered the last part of the distance, and then they collided. Kate was crying, her whole body shaking, and for a few seconds he held her close. Suddenly, she pushed him away, and grabbed his face instead, pulling his lips to hers.

It was a long kiss, that communicated everything she couldn't put into words. How much she had missed him, thought of him, and how much she loved him. His own tongue said the same, expressing his love in a way that three tiny words couldn't. But he said them anyway.

"I love you," he whispered, after breaking away from the kiss and burying his face in her hair. It was only now they realised that the eyes of practically the entire camp were on them. No-one was complaining about their spontaneous show of affection, however.

A cheer went up from the crowd. Kate blushed, wrapping her arms around Jack's neck, promising herself that she would never let go. There were no doubts that she wanted to stay with him, and be with him. And she wouldn't let anyone tell her otherwise – not that they were trying to.

"I think they've been waiting for that longer than we have," she whispered back to him, feeling a new surge of tears coming up. He just held her closer, and breathed two words into her ear, at which point she looked up sharply. She studied his face for a moment, the earnest, real expression on it.

"Sure," she replied, and she kissed him again. Everyone else began to drift off, leaving them some privacy, and he led the way to his tent.

* * *

Two weeks later, the mood in the camp was at an all-time high. Seemingly, the Others had given up Ben's mad pregnancy obsession following his death, and were now staying away from the survivor's camp. Kate was out in the jungle, getting ready, with Juliet helping her.

"You know," Juliet began, "I think most of them are expecting you to turn up in a t-shirt and jeans." Kate laughed, and studied her reflection carefully in a piece of broken glass, the sides of which had been filed down to make a neat hand-held mirror.

"I have some class," she replied stoutly, smoothing down the fabric of her skirt. "Of course, it's not easy to find something really nice."

"It would have been easier if you weren't insisting on no-one seeing you before the ceremony," Juliet noted, though she agreed that Kate did look stunning.

"Well, if they're expecting me to turn up in jeans, they're in for a real surprise," Kate said lightly. She'd bathed with cold water and some soap she'd managed to find, and selected her outfit with an unpredictable pickiness. There had been a few dresses to choose from, but she didn't like them.

"They are indeed," Juliet agreed. "You look fabulous." Kate smiled.

"Thanks. And... thankyou. For letting me have him. I know how much he means to you."

"He wouldn't have been happy without you," Juliet remarked. "'I'd rather be close to him and unable to touch him than far away and still unable to touch him'," she said, and Kate cocked her head at the phrase. Juliet smiled. "It's from a book, Ice Station. He loves you, Kate. So I'd rather keep our friendship healthy."

Kate nodded, her mind going back to the minute after she arrived back, when Jack had whispered the perfect words – 'marry me'. At first she'd been a little confused, wondering how they could get hitched while on a deserted island. Then she had realised, they didn't need a priest or to sign papers. Things were different on their island.

Juliet had warmed to her after she had arrived back, and it was only now she guessed why. Juliet had stopped her obsession of gaining Jack's love, which made her a much nicer person overall.

"We're friends too, now, huh?" Kate asked with a smile. Juliet just smiled back. Suddenly, they heard a voice calling Kate's name.

"Over here," Juliet called back, and an excited Claire burst through the trees, stopping in awe at the sight of Kate.

"You look... wow," she said, beaming. "They're ready." Kate gave a nervous grin, and smoothed down her skirt again.

It was all Claire could do, to look at the plain white blouse and long lilac skirt Kate was wearing. She had brushed her wet hair into a bun, forcing it to stay in the same place. The only piece of jewellery she was wearing was a thin gold bracelet. "They are all going to love you," she breathed, her Australian accent coming out very clearly, as it always did when she was feeling a surge of emotion.

"They'd better not," Kate replied, letting her two bridesmaids lead the way to the tent set up for the wedding. "There's only so much love I can handle."

When the trio emerged onto the beach, Claire and Juliet in front, there was a collective gasp, and everyone began whispering at once. It was the most fabulous look Kate had ever worn on the island. Normally she didn't care what she looked like, let alone what other people thought about it, but for once, she had actually done her best to look good. The result was stunning.

"Nervous?" Claire asked.

"A little," Kate replied.

"Second thoughts?"

"Hell no."

Charlie was sitting to one side, playing softly on his guitar. Locke and Desmond had spent the past few days hunting, and a grand feast was ready and waiting on a nearby table. Even the weather had turned; after several days of rain last week, it had remained bright and warm for the days leading up to the wedding.

A tent had been set up on the beach, using a single tarpaulin and several long sticks of bamboo acting as supports. When Kate first entered the shade, it took a moment for her eyes to adjust, and then she saw Jack. He was wearing a tux, and she wondered how long it had taken him to find one that was undamaged.

His mouth was slightly open, as he saw just how beautiful she was this morning. He quickly regained his composure. Juliet and Claire walked in front, and when they reached the end of the 'aisle', stood one on either side. Kate followed, walking slowly, using all her self-control on not just running forward and kissing him now.

Eventually, she was standing beside him. They weren't going to say their vows in front of a priest, or God (though Jack had said He was probably watching anyway – he'd been rather more of a believer since she had returned), but to the camp – after all, they were the people they shared a beach with, and the only people who could truly recognise just how much Jack and Kate loved each other.

After they had been standing side by side for a few moments, Jack cleared his throat. Since coming to the island, he'd had to speak to everyone as a leader on many occasions. Rarely as a person.

"I would first like to thank you all for coming. Then, I would also like to thank everyone who helped make this day happen. It means a lot." There was a round of applause, and Jack waited for it to pass before continuing. "A few months ago – not so long, really – we crashed on this island. We didn't want it to happen, and I'm sure we would all love to go home –" there was a murmur of approval from the crowd – "but while we're here, it doesn't mean that our lives have to stop.

"A few months ago, straight after the crash, I was injured. I asked Kate for her help, which she gave gladly – because she is the sort of person who always wants to help. She is always willing to put her own desires on the line, to help someone else.

"But she did more than stitch up my side. She found the hole in my heart, and filled it." Here, Jack turned from the crowd and faced Kate. "I love you, Kate. I want nothing more than to spend the rest of my life with you. I want to be your husband – and woe betide anyone who says we can't get married because we're on an island."

There was a small laugh from the audience, and Jack laughed with them. Kate felt as though if she smiled any wider her face would split apart. Jack continued.

"So, Kate – will you marry me?" She allowed the pause to extend for a few seconds, until every single person had their attention on the couple.

"Jack. I love you, and I want to be your wife. So, yes, I will marry you." After these words, they leaned forward, and kissed softly – nothing spectacular. That would come later.

Once more, a cheer went up, as the entire camp acknowledged their union. When they split apart, Jack decided it was time for his surprise. He signalled Charlie, who picked up his guitar again.

It took Kate a few seconds to recognise the song coming out. It was different, but the main theme of it was the soft tune she had been playing on the piano, so long ago. Jack had kept it in his mind ever since, and had successfully been able to hum it to Charlie, so that the musician would be able to play it, just for today.

Together, they walked back down the aisle, Kate's two bridesmaids following. Just before the feast started, Kate whispered to Jack, "Just don't suggest a tropical island for our honeymoon!" to which he laughed, and announced that everyone could start eating.

The sun shone brightly down on the beach, and it was one of the times when everyone could enjoy themselves and think of the future, not as a seemingly endless period of torment, but as a new beginning, in a new world. Right then, they didn't care whether rescue ever came – they had each other, and that was more important than all the lost comforts of home.

**The End**


End file.
